


Eastwood Liberty.

by fockinglevendcliche



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Alternate Universe, And fluff too (i promise!!), Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Elite Boarding School - Eastwood Liberty, Inspired plot, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Sander-Jens-Senne alliance, it's basically Sander being like 'I make the rules' and Robbe like 'HELL NAH', mentions of drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 85,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24250837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fockinglevendcliche/pseuds/fockinglevendcliche
Summary: Eastwood Liberty students had only one mission: to always be on top, at everything, no matter the cost.It took Robbe just a day to realize that people there only cared about two things: money and power. But that was no surprise to him. What he didn't expect was to be confronted by this group of rich and spoiled boys, who used to always get what they wanted, especially their leader, Sander Driesen.Sander made the rules, but unfortunately for him, Robbe had never been really good at sticking to them.
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 160
Kudos: 386





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is slightly inspired by the plot of the South Korean drama 'Boys Over Flowers'.  
> It wasn't really in my plans to write this fic, but I made a post on my tumblr almost two months ago (it be like that sometimes 😅) and some people show interest, and I thought "might as well just give it a try", so here is it, hope you enjoy it!!

Robbe looked at the empty white wall in front of him. It wasn't the first time he was there, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. But this time everything looked different. Maybe because, deep down, this time he knew it was going to be more than just a few short weeks. Or maybe because he'd never seen that scared look on her face before. Or maybe because of the presence of the man standing next to him. Robbe could barely direct a look in his direction. That physically hurt. The man next to him had put his hand on his shoulder, whispering that everything was going to be fine. And that gesture just made Robbe want to scream, right there, without even thinking about the people around him. Because, how could he? How could his father just come out of nowhere, holding a worried look, as if he cared about them both. As if he hadn't abandoned him and his mother just a year ago, when everything got complicated. As if he hadn't turned his back and left without looking back once. Robbe had been the only one there all that time. And not once had he left his mother's side. Not once. Not even when she was first admitted in the clinic. It had been hard. And now, his father thought he could come back and try to look even the least bit worried? Robbe owed him nothing. And he wanted to tell him just that. He wanted to scream in his face how fucked up he was, to be able to leave his fifteen year old son like that to take care of his ill mother alone. But he couldn't. He was too tired. He couldn't even force the hard words out of his mouth. So he just swallowed the scream that had been stuck in his throat and shook the man's hand from his shoulder, hoping that this was enough for him to understand that he was not needed there. Robbe had held out all that year by himself. He had spent all that time taking care of someone who was supposed to take care of him. But everything was fine. He'd done it before. And he was gonna do it now, too. He didn't need that man for anything. So what if his mom had to stay in the clinic a little bit longer? It didn't matter, Robbe was gonna stay by her side as long as it took. He wasn't on his way to abandon her like his father had. 

"Did you talk to her?" His father's voice took Robbe out of his own thoughts. He was tempted to take his hands to his own ears and just block the sound of his words. Why was he still there? Why couldn't he just disappear, once and for all? Maybe if Robbe gave him nothing but his silence, his father would finally realize that he wouldn't get anything from him. But what was the point of ignoring him? Robbe had done it for the last three hours since he'd walked through that door and it hadn't worked. His father was still there, whispering words of hope in his direction, even though Robbe had made a point of telling him with his eyes that it wasn't his comfort he needed at that moment. Not at that moment and not ever. 

Robbe just shrugged his shoulders, but once again his father acted as if everything was fine between them, persistently continuing to talk.

"You understand she's gonna be here for a while, right? It was her own choice and that's a good thing, but," his dad stopped for a few seconds, cutting off his own words, adding, a little lower than before, "Did you think about what I told you, Robbe? Now would be a good time."

Robbe lifted his head, finally facing the man in front of him. His father gave him a little smile, looking hopeful. Well, he might as well give up that hope. There wasn't a single way that Robbe would take that offer. He put his head down again, focusing his attention on the monotonous white ground beneath his feet, hoping that was enough for his father to realize that his answer was obviously a no. 

"You're being irrational, this is a great opportunity for you," Robbe could almost hear his father's heavy breathing between his words. He was certainly starting to get impatient there. Well, that was his own problem.

"What are you really gonna do, son? Because it's either that or you coming with me."

That made Robbe look up right away. Go with him? He could only be fucking kidding. 

Robbe cleared his throat, speaking for the first time for what seemed like hours, his voice still trembling from the silent cry, "I'm not going with you... I'm not."

"Well, you can't just stay alone," His father said, adding, "What kind of father would I be leaving you all by yourself?"

A muffled laugh escaped Robbe's lips. Really? Was he really trying to play a parent on him? After everything he'd done? If they hadn't been where they were, and if Robbe hadn't been so tired of spending the last three hours there, deeply concerned about his mother's situation, he'd have been able to burst out laughing on that floor. That could only be pure comedy. As if that man had ever given a damn about him or how he was doing. 

"I don't know... the same kind of father who abandons his son and his sick mother, isn't that right?" 

Robbe's words cut through the air in a hard way. He swore he could have seen a glimpse of regret in his father's eyes before the man diverted his attention from Robbe to the white wall behind him. But that could not be true. It couldn't, Robbe knew. There couldn't be any kind of regret there. He had a whole year to come back and maybe, just maybe, try to fix the pain he'd caused him, but he still chose not to. So why should Robbe even trust him in the first place?

"We're not having this conversation here, Robbe," his father said, taking his hands into his pockets, adjusting his posture, "Remember, you're still sixteen. I gave you two options here, now it's up to you to decide."

So that wasn't the whole truth. Whatever Robbe decided, he certainly wasn't making that choice voluntarily. But what other options did he have right there? Moving in with his father was out of the question, he didn't even have to think twice. If he could erase that man from his life, he sure would. But the other option sounded like a complete nightmare. Not only would he have to stay away from home, but away from his mother as well. At that very moment, when he knew she needed him at her side. Robbe wasn't ready for it, and neither did he want to. How could he really choose between the two? 

With a heavy sigh, Robbe bowed his head back facing the ceiling above him in a sign of defeat. He had a perfect sense of what was going to happen. And he wasn't enjoying it at all, but if he had to do it for himself, then that would be the final decision. He tried to think positively. He really tried. There was always a way. Or, at least, Robbe always found a way. No matter what. And when it all came to an end, he could finally go home to his mom's safe arms. 

And that's how Robbe found himself, three days later, in front of a huge grey gate, with a black bag hanging from his shoulder and a small suitcase lying close to his feet, as he watched his father smilingly shaking a man's hand, almost as if they were old friends.

Robbe was unable to hold anything back from the conversation, just shaking his head every time one of the men looked in his direction. He didn't care about any of it. He didn't care how prestigious that place was. Nor how well it was ranked number one in the national ranking. Nor did he care about the false premise of graduating top students who in the future would occupy the highest positions in modern society. The only reason he had actually agreed to enter that position was because, no matter how bad it sounded, staying with his father sounded even worse. 

Robbe didn't even understand why those people had chosen him. And, honestly, he hadn't bothered to look for the answers either. All he knew was that his father had contacted his mother three weeks before, when she was still well, or at least Robbe thought she was, to inform him that her son had received an offer to enter one of the most prestigious boarding schools in the country with a full scholarship. Apparently, a friend of his father was one of the school's investors and had recommended the youngest boy to the principal, mainly for his notorious good grades. Robbe had not made much case for that at the time, refusing to listen to anything that came out of his father's mouth. Besides, it wasn't in his plans to move to some other school. He was fine where he was. 

Definitely, things hadn't turned out the way he thought, considering that at that moment he was staring at a bronze plaque where it was possible to read in large capital letters _"Eastwood Liberty International Boarding School"_.

Robbe turned his head towards the two men, coming back to reality, in time to hear the director convincingly promise his father that they would welcome the boy in the best possible way, doing everything to make him feel at home. Robbe had to contain his need to roll his eyes. If only that man knew how much his father didn't give a damn about his safety. 

The giant gate in front of Robbe suddenly opened, the noise of heavy metal crawling across the floor. So, right there, that's where the goodbyes started. Robbe turned back slightly towards his father. To his great relief, the man didn't really seem intent on moving from where he was standing. At least, he understood the situation. He simply nodded his hand, which Robbe completely ignored, reaching for his suitcase that was on the ground, following behind the director, hearing the gate slowly close behind him. 

As Robbe leaned his head up, staring at the huge white building in front of him, his mouth really fell open. Of course, he already had an idea that that place would look like this. But seeing it with his own eyes was surreal. There was a path of parallels leading up a wide grey staircase, numerous trees shading on either side of it. At the end of the staircase, there were two large glass doors, separated by mere centimeters only. 

As Robbe passed through one of the doors behind the older man, he felt someone reaching for the small suitcase he was carrying in one of his hands, without even giving him time to react.

"Don't worry, Mr. IJzermans," the principal Bertrand began to say, realizing the reluctance in his posture, "I personally asked someone to take your belongings to your dorm."

Robbe nodded his head, feeling so out of place. He was perfectly capable of taking his own things to his room. Why did they even have the need to have someone do it for him? 

The director extended his arm towards a wooden door on the right side of the main entrance, inviting Robbe in front of him. 

"My office," the man explained with a nice smile on his lips, "I want to take care of some last papers and explain to you a little bit how our school works."

Robbe came in a little apprehensive, looking around him, analyzing the little space. There were big old portraits hanging from the walls and the wooden floor under his feet was clean and polished.

Robbe sat down on one of the upholstered chairs in front of the big old wooden desk, listening carefully to every word the older man said to him. Apparently, Robbe was going to share his dorm with two other boys, going to replace another one who had moved from that room to another just over two months ago. Also, the wearing of a uniform was strictly mandatory, but since the one assigned to Robbe would not arrive until the end of the week, he would be able to enjoy his own clothes for a few days. 

The conversation extended into the next hour. Just regular stuff, how the classes and the school in general worked. Robbe tried to follow everything he was told as best he could. One thing he was sure of, that place was full of rules. And he had never been very good at following them. 

  
°°°

Robbe looked at the schedule in his hand, examining each of his classes. Maybe this whole situation wasn't so bad. After all, this was one of the most prestigious boarding schools in the country. It had to mean something, right? The students here liked to be on top. Well, lucky for him, Robbe liked it too. He knew he was gonna have to do a lot more than his best to keep up with the others, but he wasn't gonna let himself be left behind. Even at his old school, he was one of the best, and he was gonna keep working there as much, or more, as before. 

Robbe doubled his schedule carefully, saving it in his bag. The sound of the bell echoed everywhere, probably indicating the end of classes. Loud voices and countless footsteps began to be heard everywhere. Robbe let a heavy sigh escape, trying to calm his nervousness that didn't seem to want to leave him. With small, hesitant steps, he forced his own body to leave the place where he was standing and began to head for the main hall. Robbe couldn't even understand why he was so nervous in the first place. It wasn't as if someone was even going to stop to look at him. He didn't really call that much attention. His brain was just playing games, he remembered to himself. There was nothing to be afraid of.

As soon as he turned the corner of the hall, he was confronted by a sea of students, all wearing fancy uniforms, perfectly ironed white shirts and properly tight navy blue blazers. A perfect contrast to Robbe's dark, wide clothes. His uniform wouldn't arrive until the end of that week, the principal had said. And now he was feeling more hesitant than ever. If Robbe didn't want to draw everyone's attention to him, it definitely wasn't showing up in those clothes, unlike everyone else, that he was going to get it. 

Robbe fixed the bag on his shoulder, running his fingers lightly through the strands of his hair that fell through his forehead, trying to tame them as best he could, swallowing dry against his own paranoia. Just step by step, there's nothing to be afraid of, Robbe reminded himself by starting to walk in fast, sloppy steps down the hall. And it turns out, his fears weren't that far from reality. Because as soon as he began to cross over among the students, each of them stopped to look in his direction. It could have been something normal, just like prying eyes, at the end of it all, Robbe was new there. But it wasn't that. Or, at least, that's not what he felt when he looked back at each of them. It was piercing eyes, thrown everywhere from his head to his feet, almost like critics. Robbe quickly looked down, staring at the ground, trying his best to ignore them. He didn't fit in, he knew that, but he didn't even need to. Robbe was just there to study. Nothing else. He didn't owe anyone anything. 

"Welcome to Eastwood Liberty," a loud, shrill voice took Robbe out of his thoughts, making him look up. Standing in front of him with an open, confident smile were two girls. They were wearing navy blue skirts that composed the uniform. Their blonde hair was perfectly stretched, falling like veils down their incredibly white shirts. Everything about them screamed money and lust. And Robbe asked himself if they could see inside him, how different he was from everyone else there. 

The two girls remained perfectly stable there, probably waiting for a reaction from him, their smiles never fading. Robbe just stared back at them hesitantly. He couldn't come up with a single answer. Not even a simple 'thank you'. Their gaze didn't look intimidating, not like all the other students. But even so, the way the two girls stared at him openly, almost without blinking, was making Robbe feel almost like an object of study. And he didn't like that. He hated attention. He had always hated it. And now it seemed like he was getting it all in sequence. 

"You must be Robbe," the girl who had spoken first continued, adding, "We are so happy to have you. It's not every day that the principal makes an exception and offers a scholarship to someone that doesn't have the possibilities. That's so kind. I've always been into charity."

Robbe blinked quickly, swallowing dry. He couldn't tell if the girl in front of him was being sincere or just sarcastic. Her smile looked genuine, but the words still felt like knives cutting through him. Charity? Is that what she thought that was? 

The blonde girl must have noticed the change in Robbe's expression, rushing to add with an embarrassed smile, "I'm so sorry, this didn't come out exactly the way I wanted it to. I mean, this school has no problem with scholarship students, we--"

"Correction, some of us have no problem with that," the other girl interrupted her, the words coming out of her lips quietly, as she stared at Robbe with a serene look, "And those who have, well, uh, what can I say? This school is full of ignorant people. Anyway, we haven't even introduced ourselves yet. I'm Britt," she stopped, pointing her head at the other girl, continuing, "And this is Amber." 

Robbe just nodded his head, wondering if he should get out of there at that moment. Were they just introducing themselves, or was that conversation supposed to get somewhere?

Seeing the discomfort in the boy's posture, Britt stepped forward, enthusiastically saying, "We'll be with you all day," she stopped talking, her expression going from smiling to thoughtful in a matter of seconds, adding, "Maybe not all day. But anyway, get ready to meet the most prestigious school in the whole country. I'm sure you going to love it here."

Robbe really had to hold on to not let a muffled laugh escape. You going to love it here. Well, from what he'd seen so far, that didn't seem too close to reality. But if those two girls were willing to show him around, he'd sure take it. That place was huge and somehow confusing. He would be dumb to reject the help, especially when he was going to start classes the next day and had no idea where he was supposed to go. So he just shrugged his shoulders, letting the two girls lead the way in front of him. 

It only took Robbe ten minutes of touring around to realize that that place really had nothing to do with the school he used to go to. Of course, there was clearly more money invested in this one, but the difference was abysmal. For the most part, it didn't even look like a school, but rather an exquisite hotel, given the unnecessary amount of lighted chandeliers hanging down the corridors and the large windows that let the sunlight in, illuminating the whole space. In the middle of the corridors, separated in opposite corners, there were two long rows of lockers in shades of navy blue, the same color as the uniforms. Robbe took a long look at each corner, listening to the two girls attentively, hoping that he could remember all that tomorrow. It was no longer enough for the whole school to be huge, but it also had countless rooms, all divided by wings. According to Amber, he didn't have to worry too much about that, because the vast majority of his classes would all be in the same wing that was supposed to be the Junior one. Except for one class, physical education, which was the only one that was shared with some third grade class. Robbe had also found out that the two girls were, like him, first year students, so they were all in the same class. That was kind of good news for Robbe. At least he'd know someone the next day in class. It wasn't that bad. 

"So," Britt's voice suddenly cracked, causing Robbe to avert his eyes to her, wanting for the girl to complete whatever she was going to say, "What made you agree to come here?"

Robbe stared at her without knowing what to say. It wasn't like he actually wanted to be there. Sure, he'd been given another choice, but staying with his father wasn't really an option for him. So accepting that scholarship hadn't been entirely voluntary. Robbe just wish he could have stayed at his own house. And maybe, just maybe, his mom could get better soon and come home earlier and they could just stay the two of them, as it had always been. But now he was stuck in that school with no way out. He swallowed hard, trying to get these thoughts out of his mind. It wasn't worth thinking about what if. He was there. And whether he agreed or not, he was there to stay. But, obviously, he wasn't in his way to confide that to some random girls.

"I mean... it's a good school. I had to take it, right?"

Robbe knew he couldn't seem less confident of his answer even if he tried. And the expression on Britt's face was enough for him to realize that she hadn't been the least bit convinced by what he had said. Robbe saw the blonde girl's mouth start to open, ready to say something, but to his relief, Amber let out an excited little scream, making them both look quickly in her direction. 

"You see those four girls, Robbe?" Amber pointed with her finger at a group of girls in a corner, a few feet from where they were standing, talking to each other in between laughs and loud voices, "First year too. They're all in our class. You're gonna love meeting them."

Robbe felt Amber's hand reaching for his arm, starting to pull him towards the four girls, but he cut it off quickly, pulling his own hand back. He didn't care if he'd looked arduous, he wasn't ready for it. Robbe knew it was a ridiculous thought, but he didn't really felt like getting there and standing while the two girls introduced him to their friends. Especially with the way most people had looked at him as soon as he put one foot in that hallway. What if those girls acted the same? What if they held the same disparaging, judgmental look as they stared at him in a sort of sick way? He knew he'd eventually have to talk to the rest of the students there, but he wanted to do it at his own pace and when he thought it was the right time. 

Robbe felt both pairs of eyes on him. While Amber held a confused expression, Britt, on the other hand, seemed understanding, giving him a little apologetic smile.

"What--," Amber began to say, being immediately interrupted by Britt.

"It's okay, Amber," Robbe didn't lose the way Britt stared at the other girl, asking her kindly with her gaze to let it go, "If Robbe doesn't want to meet them now, then we shouldn't push him. He'll have plenty of time for that."

Robbe didn't know whether to thank her silently or be ashamed that Britt had to come to his rescue when he could perfectly well have said it for himself. But, anyway, it didn't seem to work out very well, because Amber kept trying to persuade Robbe.

"Come on, they're nice, I promise," Robbe watched her lips come down to form a pout, "Look, just follow my finger," Amber stretched out her arm pointing to the four girls who, luckily, seemed oblivious to the whole situation, "There's Jana, Zoë, Yasmina and Luca. We all knew each other before we got here, they're the nicest people around."

Robbe sighed softly, letting his shoulders fall slowly. That girl certainly knew how to be persistent.

"Amber!" Britt exclaimed, sounding a little impatient already, "Just leave it, okay?"

Robbe watched Amber snort, lifting both her arms in the air as a sign of redemption, whispering, finally, a short "sorry" through her teeth. And he really started to wonder if he shouldn't be the only one apologizing, maybe he was doing too much of something small. But suddenly, the expression on the blonde girl's face turned drastically, a wider smile opening on her lips as she stared at something behind Robbe's with sparkling eyes. And not just her, the boy realized. The attention of all the students seemed to be focused on whatever Amber was looking at. A sudden silence falling all over the place, it was almost as if no one dared to say anything at that moment. 

Robbe turned in time to see four boys walk through the front door. It was too quiet. It was almost scary. Whoever they were, they surely were known by everyone else. He took a long look at each one of them. Three of them were perfectly dressed in their school uniforms, while one of them, and the only one who got Robbe's full attention, seemed to be kinda above the rules. Robbe let his eyes glide all over the boy in question, stopping to calmly observe every detail. Eccentric platinum blond hair, so white that it contrasted with his tanned skin, black jeans, tight black leather jacket and some doc Martens. His whole look didn't seem to fit in at all with the way that school presented itself. Robbe watched him take one of his hands to the black sunglasses sitting on his face, calmly removing them, revealing a pair of light green eyes. In one sudden movement, these same eyes crossed Robbe's, making a wave of shivers run through his entire body and his heart beat faster inside his chest. Maybe it was out of fear, because what those green eyes had of pretty, they also had of raw. He continued to stare at Robbe, his expression a mixture of coldness and superiority. Why? As if he knew.

Robbe resisted the urge to lower his head at the blond boy's pejorative gaze, even if it was all he wanted to do at that moment. It was starting to be too much. And the intensity of his look was definitely making Robbe hesitant. But he wasn't going to give in, not when most people there already seemed to have made their own judgment of him. So he faced the boy back with the same fervor, his eyes in a visible challenge. And with that, the blond boy broke eye contact, walking away with the other three following him. As soon as they were out of sight, the noise set in again through the space, leaving Robbe nothing but confused. What was it all about? Who were those boys and why did every student seemed to... respect them?

Robbe turned again, looking at Amber, waiting for the rating he knew perfectly well she would make. Only this time, he was more than interested. As soon as Amber found Robbe's gaze, Britt cut her quickly, saying with a dull sigh, "I swear, Amber, if I have to hear you babbling about him again, I'm going to throw up, no kidding."

Amber looked at her with an upset expression, exclaiming, "What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong with that? Really?" Britt fought back, adding, "Well, I don't know. Maybe the fact that you have a boyfriend of your own!"

Amber shrugged her shoulders, smiling ironically, "Which I love very much, thank you. But that doesn't mean I can't look around. And it's worth looking at that boy. Maybe you could get him for yourself."

Robbe watched Britt muffle a laugh, rolling her eyes. He was more than lost with all that talk. Who were they even talking about?

"Amber, please, as if I wanted to."

"Why wouldn't you?" Amber asked her, not looking very convinced of the other girl's answer, "He's handsome and very, very rich. What more could you want in a boy?"

Britt took one of her fingers to her lips, faking a thoughtful expression, "Uh, let me think. How about some personality? That'd be nice, right? And from what I've seen so far, Sander really lacks that."

Amber shrugged, looking nothing but bored with that conversation, "Whatever. He's still rich. He can't have it all, right?"

Robbe had no idea what the two girls were talking to each other about, but even he had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. Really?

Amber cleared her throat, staring at Robbe again, "Moving on. Did you see those boys?" Here was the rating, finally. Robbe just waved, trying to look indifferent, even if he was on the verge of curiosity. Those boys had really got all his attention. Especially one in particular. 

"So, keep this in your mind," Amber continued, "those are the ones you should be careful with."

What? What did that even mean? Be careful? Why should Robbe be careful with them?

"I don't get it."

Robbe felt Amber take a step forward, coming closer to him, speaking lower, almost in a whisper, "I'm only going to tell you once, so listen to me carefully. The boy who was at the left end, the tallest, that's Jens Stoffels. He's the most reserved of them all, but don't feel too relaxed, he can be scary sometimes. He's also a first year, so he's in our class. If you want a personal opinion, I don't even know why Sander accepted him in the group, he's not cool enough for them."

Robbe's eyes slowly narrowed trying to assimilate the information the girl gave him. Nothing was making sense to him. Accepted in the group? What group? Like a fucking cult? And who the hell was that Sander guy anyway? And why was Amber whispering like she was afraid to be heard? Robbe had so many questions. And honestly? He was starting to be afraid of the answers himself.

"The others, they're all third graders. There's Senne De Smet, the smallest brunet, I'd say he's the quiet one, to be honest. And next to him was Luka Lemmens, the one with the long hair, a fucking idiot, but that's basically all he is," Amber paused, continuing after a few brief seconds, her voice even lower, as if it was even possible, "The one who was in the middle, black clothes, sunglasses, that's Sander Driesen. That's the one you should pay attention to."

So the boy with the platinum blond hair was the same boy the two girls were talking about earlier. Sander Driesen. Robbe hadn't done more than an exchange of glances with him, but that name felt like poison in his mind. For some reason, he really believed Amber when she said he should be more careful with him. 

"So, what's the matter with them?" Robbe risked asking.

Britt intervened before Amber had a chance to answer, saying, "They basically run this place."

Robbe's eyebrows arched in a confusing expression, "What do you mean they run this place?"

"It's simple, they make the rules and they're the only ones who decide who is following them or not."

The way Britt said those words so calmly left Robbe perplexed. That was enough to make him realize it had been that way for a long time and that was, honestly, very disturbing. So, basically, there was a group of guys who controlled everything and everyone and people just didn't do anything to stop it? They just followed their rules without question? Robbe didn't understand the reasons behind that visible system. It wasn't like they were talking about kids. People there should be able to stand up to those boys. 

"I don't understand," Robbe said, shaking his head slowly, "Why do you all even let them do that?"

"It's easy," Amber fought back, seeming indifferent to the whole situation. Those boys really had everyone wrapped around their finger, "Sander's parents make the biggest investment in this school. Without them, I'm not sure this could work. Or, at least, not the way it works. Guaranteeing the students the most luxurious things. So they can basically decide your future here. I think everyone respects him for that. I certainly wouldn't risk my place here."

Robbe wasn't even really surprised by the words that had just come out of the girl's mouth. How could he? Society had always worked that way. The more money someone has, the more power they'll be given and consequently the right to control others. _What a shock_. 

Well, lucky for Robbe, he didn't give a fuck about those stupid rules. He couldn't care less about his future there. It wasn't like he wanted to be there in the first place. 

  
°°°

The dormitory building was on the opposite side of the school, so it would only take a few minutes on foot to get there. Robbe crossed the wide bridge that connected the two, walking in slow steps so he could observe everything around him. Everything there looked like it had been built to the smallest detail. From the huge stone fountain with gently gushing water that could be seen from the left side, to the bronze statue positioned right in front of him.

As soon as Robbe saw the building he was looking for, he hurried in through the large wooden door. He wasn't sure if his chin could fall any further than that. If the outside was already too extravagant for him, then he couldn't even begin to describe the inside. One thing was certain. Where he looked, all he saw was wealth. The walls were all built in stone, gray with details in gold. Robbe contained the need to embrace his own body. That definitely gave the space a sense of cold. The ceiling was indescribably high. If Robbe could scream right there, at that moment, he was sure the sound would echo all over it. In the center of the room was an infinite white staircase with a chandelier of hundreds of crystal lights right above it. It all seemed surreal. And so out of Robbe's comfort zone. How could he even get used to such luxury that was being offered to him when his whole life he had been surrounded by simplicity and modesty? He wasn't going on an easy journey.

Robbe looked around him hoping to find someone who could help him, but there was no one there. Well, he'd certainly have to make do for himself. He took out of his bag the keys that had been given to him along with his class schedule. _Room 17._ Shouldn't be too hard to find, he thought. Robbe leaned his head upwards, trying to find some information that would tell him where he should go. On a wall on his right side was written in large black letters ' **Boys' dorm** '. _Bingo_. 

Robbe walked down the hallway, passing his eyes through the numbers on the various doors. Most of the students seemed to be inside their respective rooms at that moment, since he could hear the noise of laughter and loud voices where he passed by. He wondered if the other two boys he would share the room with would be there, too. There was a high probability that that would happen and Robbe could already feel his heart beating faster inside his chest. He knew he was going to have to meet them at some point, obviously they would all share the same space for as long as they were there, but he was still hesitant about it. The director had assured him that he had assigned that room to Robbe himself, because he was sure he would get along very well with the other two. But he wasn't so sure about that. It was kind of hard for him to even think that there might actually be students in that school with whom he could create a connection. Everyone just seemed so different from him. 

As soon as the door with the number 17 appeared in Robbe's vision, he took a deep breath, before putting the keys in the lock, finally entering the room he was going to occupy for the rest of the year. For his own happiness, the space was empty. Robbe took another step into the room, closing the door behind him. Calling that room big wasn't enough. But once again, why was he even surprised? 

Robbe looked around him, taking a long look around every corner. Unlike the entrance and corridors, the walls were completely white and the space wasn't so adorned. But that was a hell of a big space. There were three beds, two of them leaning against the wall in two opposite corners, while the other was positioned in the middle. Next to each bed was a wooden bedside table with a glass surface, followed by a long desk. At the bottom of the room, next to three large wardrobes, was a door, which would certainly give access to the bathroom. This had undoubtedly been what had amazed Robbe the most when the director had explained to him earlier how the dormitories worked. The fact that every room in that building had a linked bathroom was simply ridiculous. Of course, it was always helpful to have a little more privacy. But really? Every room? How big was that building even? 

The two corner beds were already taken, considering the amount of clothing and books spread over them, so Robbe was sure that the one assigned to him would be the one in the middle. Also, the fact that his suitcase was landed next to it, as the director had assured him. Robbe rushed to open his suitcase, starting to get his things out. There wasn't much to pack, really. He had brought only a few clothes, toiletries, and a few books to keep him entertained, since he knew perfectly well that he was going to be stuck there even on weekends. His father had told him he could go to his house whenever he wanted, but honestly? Robbe would much rather stay there and sink into boredom than have to stay in the same space as that man. 

As soon as Robbe had finished tidying his clothes perfectly folded in the only wardrobe that was empty, the door suddenly opened, and two boys came in. They were both dressed in their school uniforms and one of them was holding a book against his chest. They must have come from school, he thought. Robbe slowly closed the closet door, standing in front of it, hoping he didn't look too weird standing there. 

He began to wonder if he should introduce himself or something, but, lucky for him, one of the guys stepped forward in his direction, speaking first, "Hey, you must be our new roommate," the guy interrupted himself, tapping his hand on his forehead lightly, "I mean, of course you are. Why else would you be packing your clothes in the closet?"

"Aaron, stop babbling," the other boy also advanced towards Robbe, stretching his hand out to him, "I'm Moyo."

Robbe politely accepted, shaking his hand, "Robbe."

The other boy approached Robbe quickly, pulling him into a sudden hug, exclaiming loudly, "I'm Aaron. Nice to meet you," he broke the hug, looking at Robbe enthusiastically.

Well, Robbe really didn't expect such a welcome. These two seemed cool. Maybe, just maybe, this whole experience wasn't gonna be all bad. Or, at least, as bad as he thought.

"So, you're starting tomorrow?" Moyo asked, as he walked towards what seemed to be his bed. Robbe saw how he threw himself on it, not even caring about the things on top. 

Robbe was too tired, so he chose to do the same, going towards his own bed, sitting on the edge, so that he could continue to face the other boy. Aaron grabbed his clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. 

"Yeah," Robbe replied, adding, "I'm kinda nervous." 

_Ugh_. Why did he even say that? Nervous? What would the other boy think? That he'd be about to start the fourth grade, for sure. 

Robbe watched Moyo nod his head, saying, "Don't worry, I was nervous on my first day too. People here are, how can I say that... not easy."

Yeah, Robbe already had an idea about that. Not easy at all.

"You're a first year?" Moyo asked, lifting his head a little from where he was lying. Robbe just nodded, "So we're in the same class. Let me tell you something. There's a lot of idiots there, but there's also a lot of people worth meeting."

"I actually met two girls earlier today. They kind of gave me a guide through school."

Robbe heard a muffled laugh behind him, turning in time to see Aaron walking towards him, already out of his uniform, sitting next to Robbe.

"So, what? We have tour guides now?" Aaron asked, smiling amusingly.

Robbe shrugged quickly, saying, "It was these two girls. They told me I was in their class and they kind of showed me around."

"Fuck," Moyo exclaimed, unable to contain the laughter that escaped his lips, "I didn't have such a privilege when I got here."

Robbe laughed along with him, thinking of the two girls from earlier. Of course, it had been a great help that they volunteered to explain where each place was and how the classes worked in general, but they were also kind of loud and strident, if Robbe was allowed to say.

"I mean, you didn't miss much, really," Robbe fought back, finally starting to relax in the middle of those two guys, "It was helpful, but I had to put myself through more than three hours of gossip that I don't really give a fuck about. Besides, they were kind of annoying."

"Who were the girls?" Moyo asked with obvious curiosity.

"Amber and Britt. That's what they told me."

Robbe saw out of the corner of his eye Aaron putting his two hands in front of his face, falling back into bed with a laugh. 

"See? I told you, bro," Moyo spoke loudly from the other corner of the room, muffling a laugh as well, "You're the only person who doesn't find her annoying. And that, I call blind love. There's no other way."

Robbe looked between the two boys, clearly confused, beginning to wonder if maybe he shouldn't have said that. Judging by their reactions, they knew exactly who those girls were. 

Robbe watched Aaron force his body up again, immediately realizing the confused look on his face, "Amber is my girlfriend."

Fuck. Robbe averted his eyes away from Aaron's gaze, feeling his cheeks suddenly warm. Why could he never shut up? If he wanted to win the friendship of the two boys, it wasn't definitely calling the girlfriend of one of them annoying, right in front of him, that he was gonna get it. 

Robbe felt Aaron's hand calmly resting on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly, "Man, trust me, I know she can be too much sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Moyo asked on the other side. 

Aaron grabbed one of the pillows on top of Robbe's bed, throwing it towards Moyo, "Dude, shut up. At least I have someone. You can only count on your stupid right hand." 

Moyo quickly took his hand to his chest, faking an incredulous expression, getting a laugh out of each of the boys. 

"Anyway," Aaron gave Robbe his attention again, saying, "We were just gonna meet some friends, feel free to join if you want."

Robbe shook his head, giving him a nice smile, "I'm kind of tired, I think I'll just stick around. Thanks anyway."

The two boys nodded, starting to walk around the room, quickly getting ready. As they left, closing the door behind them, Robbe dropped himself on his bed, wondering if that place had really been the best decision for him. Well, it was kind of late to go back.

For the rest of the night, Robbe locked himself in his room, skipping dinner. He didn't feel like putting anything in his stomach. He took a long shower, hoping that it would relieve the tension that ran through his entire body, tucking himself into the strange bed right away. Robbe reached for his phone that was resting on the nightstand. _22h47_. The other two boys were far from being seen. He just had time to set an alarm before putting his head on the pillow and closing his eyes, hoping that, at least, he could get a good night's sleep.

  
°°°

Robbe opened his eyes, being immediately struck by the strong light that crossed the fine silk curtain. With a little effort, his hand reached for his phone on the bedside table, checking the time. Seven in the morning. His alarm would only go off in half an hour, but it was no use closing his eyes again. It wasn't like he could go back to sleep, even if his tired eyes begged for it. He hadn't made it through the night, turning around in what seemed like hours, being careful not to make any noise so as not to wake the other two boys. The thought of officially starting class was what had kept Robbe awake. He didn't know what to expect. And honestly, he was scared of whatever the possibility was. 

He put his phone back on the nightstand, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling above him. Everything felt strange. Everywhere he looked around him, it felt strange. The walls too white. The decorations too eccentric. The room too big, even for three people. The bed. Especially the bed. It felt strange. It was too comfortable, the sheets were too soft. It smelled like fresh and lavender. It wasn't like Robbe hated it. He didn't hate it. And he definitely didn't want to look ungrateful, he understood the privilege of being able to rest in something like that bed. But it didn't feel like home. Home had rough sheets and old furniture, but it was still home. And nothing could replace that. Not even all that luxury and ostentation. He didn't need that. Plus, he didn't want that. A lot of people would give anything to be in a place like that, but not Robbe. No, all he wanted was to wake up in his little room that probably didn't smell like lavender, like wealth, but was even more comfortable and his than this room would ever be. And to wake up to the sound of his mother's voice, rushing around the kitchen, telling Robbe to hurry up or else he'd be late for school, even though he knew perfectly well that he had more than enough time. His mom. Robbe swallowed dry, blinking his eyes quickly, trying to ward off the tears he felt were already beginning to form. Thinking of his mother had always had that effect on him. And now, it was much worse. At least if he was home, he could go visit her at the clinic and keep her company. And Robbe knew there was nothing his mom loved more than having him around. But here, he wouldn't be able to do that. He wouldn't be able to visit her. The only thing he could do was call her, make sure she was okay. That was all, nothing more than that. And he was starting to hate it all. He was away from his mom and his friends and his old school, somewhere he certainly wouldn't fit in. He just knew that. He wasn't like those people there. He hadn't come from the same place as them. And yesterday, in that hallway, that was the confirmation Robbe needed to prove once again what he already knew. That those people also knew that he wasn't one of them, that he didn't belong and that they would be careful to show him exactly that. The side looks that had been given to him, as well as the laughter shared by some of the students as they descended their eyes all over Robbe had been enough. Those people only cared about two things. Reputation and money. And if someone didn't have any of these, then they certainly couldn't be part of it. That's the way things worked everywhere. Robbe wasn't that surprised. Of course, there were good people there. Moyo and Aaron had been really cool with him, offering to help with anything he needed. And the two girls yesterday, Amber and Britt, even in their own way, had had the incentive to approach him and make sure to explain to him, the best way, how that school worked. They had been nice, but Robbe couldn't help wondering to what extent their sympathy would go. Sure, the two boys shared a room with him, but that didn't necessarily make them friends. So he was still practically alone there. And in a few minutes, he would have to force his body out of that bed and start preparing for his first class. And there was no point in trying to postpone the inevitable, so Robbe got up quietly, trying to make as little noise as possible, heading for the giant closet. His uniform wouldn't arrive until the end of that week, so for a few days he would have to wear the few clothes he had brought with him. He swung by the pieces of fabric folded over each other perfectly, trying to find something that looked more like those people and less like him. And Robbe knew that was a ridiculous thought. He had nothing to be ashamed of. But he couldn't help it. Even if he tried to tell himself that he didn't want to be a part of it and that he didn't want, under any circumstances, to become one of those people, a part of him, however small, wanted to be accepted there. But it wasn't worth trying too hard, he knew that. There was no clothes in that closet that could be on the level of that place, nothing luxurious, nothing branded. Then, with a heavy sigh, Robbe grabbed a gray hoodie and a pair of black pants, taking the clothes to the bathroom to get ready without bothering Moyo and Aaron who still seemed to be in a deep sleep.

Already all dressed up, Robbe stared at the giant mirror in front of him, running his fingers through his hair lightly, trying his best to look at least a little presentable. He returned to his room to grab his black bag, which was carefully placed against his desk, and headed for the door. Before leaving, he looked back at the two boys who were still scattered around their beds, not appearing to be waking up at any moment. Robbe still pondered whether he should wake them up. They had all talked yesterday, he knew that the two boys were in the same school year as him, which meant they would have their first class in just under half an hour, just like Robbe. But he was afraid that he might be bothering them in some way and that they would be upset with him, so he just let them be, finally leaving the room and slamming the door quietly behind him. 

Robbe left the residence, crossing the wide bridge towards the main building. Aside from two or three students, there was no one else there yet. So either most of the students were still in their respective dormitories, or they were in the main hall where all the meals were served. It was probably the only place Robbe hadn't seen yet. Yesterday, the girls had dragged him down the hallways and pointed at a huge wooden door at the bottom of the building, but since it was an off-peak time, the place was not open. He had skipped breakfast on purpose. He didn't feel like sitting there and eating alone, probably with stranger's eyes on him. So all he had managed to do was grab a small packet of cookies from one of the dorm machines on the way out and hope it would satisfy him for the rest of the morning. 

Robbe came through the door of the main building, holding his schedule in one of his hands. _Room B12_. Okay, he could do this. He remembered perfectly the tour he was given yesterday. So, he knew where that classroom was. Wing B, right and down the hall. His feet began to move hesitantly, forcing his body to accompany them. The other students had begun to fill the corridors little by little. Robbe lowered his head to the sound of the voices of the people who were now beginning to pass him, continuing his path without stopping for a second. Today, he just wanted to go unnoticed as best he could. Maybe he was being paranoid, of course. But he couldn't help it. And that feeling didn't seem to want to go away anytime soon.

As Robbe arrived in the hall of Wing B, his eyes began to move from one door to the other looking for the number that was fixed in his schedule. _12_. This one. The black watch on his wrist indicated it was about ten minutes to the start of class, but the door to the room was already half-open. He pondered whether it would be better to wait outside, but then he remembered Amber telling him yesterday that if that was the case, then he could come in and sit down until his teacher arrived. Robbe didn't feel entirely comfortable doing that, it was quite different from his old school, but on the other hand, it would be much better than just standing there waiting. As soon as his hand pushed the door lightly, he was confronted with a student already sitting in one of the last row of chairs. Fuck, he was really hoping he could be alone for at least a few moments. The other boy looked up, drawing his attention away from his phone, staring Robbe back. Robbe immediately recognized him as one of yesterday's four boys, the ones Amber couldn't shut up about. If he wasn't mistaken, and he probably wasn't, since he was really good with names, that boy over there was Jens. And Robbe felt his nerves taking over his body again, even though he was trying to hold them. He hadn't even made more than a look at them in that hallway, but after everything Amber and Britt had said about them, it was kind of hard not to be intimidated by any of those guys, even if Robbe didn't care about their stupid rules, whatever it was about. In one thing, the two girls were right, whether Robbe liked it or not, they certainly exhaled that sense of superiority. And that, in a way, gave them a certain power there. Especially over someone who wasn't in the same social status as them, like him. And now Robbe was cursing himself for deciding not to wait outside. The other boy had already seen him, he couldn't just turn his back and walk out of the classroom again. That was stupid. So he just stood there, at the door, playing with his own fingers, trying not to look nervous. Well, obviously, mission failure. How could he look relaxed if he was literally standing in the same place, with no intention of moving, just looking at nothing? The idea of turning around and leaving didn't seem so stupid anymore compared to that. 

"Well, good morning," Jens' voice took Robbe out of his thoughts, making him look up, staring at the boy, "Are you just gonna stand there?"

As surprising as it might be, Robbe actually relaxed to the sound of Jens' voice. He certainly didn't expect it to sound like that. So calm and... soft. And for some reason, the expression on Jens' face was a playful one. Not in a bad way, but almost as if he was trying to contain a smile by the visible embarrassment in Robbe's posture. Was he just being sarcastic or that was really genuine? That was the question that didn't want to abandon his mind. 

Either way, Robbe just decided to leave it. If there was anyone he didn't want to have trouble with at that school, it was any of those boys. He was there to study, nothing more.

Robbe cleared his throat, forcing the words out of his mouth, even a little shaky, "Hi, hey, good morning. I was just gonna... I was just gonna sit down now."

Jens nodded his head lightly, continuing to stare at him with an intense look. And Robbe? Well, he just kept standing there.

"Okay, you were gonna sit down, so what are you waiting for?" Jens asked again, this time not being able to avoid the little smile on his lips. Fuck, Robbe was feeling so stupid. If he came up with the idea of making a good impression, then good news, he had failed miserably. He finally moved from where he'd been standing for a good few minutes, heading towards the first table in his sight, "You can't sit there. Yasmina always sits there. She likes to be in the front."

Robbe nodded, heading to the table behind that one in the second row, risking a look in Jens' direction. Of course, he was still holding the same playful smile as before, if not more visible. 

"You can't sit on that one either. That's Aaron. Short story, right behind Yasmina, so he can copy everything and not risk being kicked out for low grades," Robbe didn't lose the way Jens shook his head sarcastically, adding, "Not that it was going to happen anyway. His parents just had to pull a few strings and he'd be back on top of students. Easy money, I'd say."

Robbe swallowed dry, not knowing exactly what to say. He had a perfect sense that that was exactly the reality of that school, but he definitely didn't think Jens would say it so easily. He always thought that the students there tried to hide the privilege that was offered to them as much as possible and continue to pretend that it was all on personal merit. Well, some of them. Like saying, the vast majority. So he chose to say nothing and continue his search for a place in that room where he could finally sit. His eyes drifted to the back seat in the third row, hoping this would be his shot.

"Wrong," Jens' voice almost made Robbe want to roll his eyes. That one, too? That couldn't be all filled, right? How many students were even in that class? Robbe faced Jens again, waiting for his short explanation of who that place belonged to, "Amber. Right behind Aaron. Kinda creepy, but I really think it's so she can keep her eyes on him. Even though everyone here knows he's all hers."

Robbe sighed softly, cursing his own luck. Or the lack of it. He knew it wouldn't be easy to start in the middle of the year in a new place. But that was being a lot harder than he thought. It seemed like everyone there already had their own place marked. Not just the tables, but everything. Friendships, relationships, little groups. And Robbe wasn't really sure where he'd fit in. 

Jens cleared his throat, saying after a few seconds, "You know, we can continue this little game or you can literally just ask me. I don't know about you, but the second option seems a lot more simple, at least for me," the same teasing smile from before appeared again on the boy's face before he continued, "Not that I mind, by the way. We can go back to the little stories about which chair belongs who."

Robbe shrugged his shoulders, finally giving in. It wasn't worth it. He knew he'd only get Jens' help if he got up the nerve and asked him directly once and for all. 

"So, where can I sit?"

Jens responded quickly in an almost ironic tone, "I'm glad you asked. So, lucky for you, this one," he said, tapping the chair right next to him, "It's the only free chair at the moment."

Robbe felt his body gain a little extra confidence as Jens spoke. And he knew he was about to regret letting the next words out of his mouth, but he did just that.

"Are you saying that because it's true... or you just want me sitting next to you?"

Jens let a provocative smile slip as soon as Robbe finished talking, banging, "I know I'm charming, but take it easy, it's only your first day."

Robbe felt his face getting hot fast. He couldn't see himself right now, but he was sure his cheeks would be red. Why didn't he even think before he spoke? That didn't come out exactly the way he intended. It almost looked like it was... provocative. And that was by far what he meant. He was just trying to be funny. If he was gonna have to sit in every class next to that boy, he might as well relieve the little tension still hanging between the two. But it had come out totally next to him.

"Look, I didn't mean it that way, I was jus--," the sound of the bell interrupted whatever Robbe was going to say, and contrary to what he'd thought all morning, he was more than grateful for the start of his first class. These had been the longest ten minutes of his life. 

Robbe's gaze moved to the door in time to see the rest of the students coming in. He immediately recognized some of them that Amber and Britt had pointed out yesterday. He hadn't even exchanged a word with them, but he remembered their names perfectly. And others were the first time Robbe was laying eyes on. And at the end, talking animatedly to each other, were the two blonde girls. As soon as they saw him, they both raised their hands, greeting him with a smile. Robbe stared them back, giving them a shy nod. As for his roommates, Moyo and Aaron, not a single sign of them. Maybe Robbe should have woken them up after all.

Someone cleared their throat next to Robbe, coughing loudly to grab his attention. He averted his eyes from the students entering the classroom, bumping into a small girl holding an annoying expression, her lips pressed together, and her head slightly tilted to the side as she stared back at him. Her face said it all. Robbe was well aware that he was still standing in the middle of the room and that he had to start moving to go sit in his place. Or, at least, what he thought his place would be. As he walked in hesitant steps to the last row, he really hoped Jens was talking genuinely earlier. He seemed cool, he really did, but the way Amber and Britt had described him yesterday had been, by far, quite different from that. And here, he wasn't sure who he could trust. Or even if he could trust anyone at all.

As soon as Robbe sat in the chair next to Jens, the other guy was quick to tilt his body towards him, speaking almost in a whisper, "I haven't got your name yet."

"Robbe."

Robbe didn't lose the way Jens repeated his name on his own lips. And even though it was certainly stupid that it actually went through Robbe's mind, the way it sounded didn't seem at all like it was the first time that word was coming out of Jens' mouth. It almost sounded like he was just reaffirming something he already knew. But Robbe just decided to put that thought away. It was probably just stuff in his head. It had to be.

"Well, Robbe, I'm Jens. What you already know, of course," Jens stopped talking, a defiant smile popping out of his pink lips. Robbe frowned his eyebrows automatically, looking at him with a confused expression. What did that even mean?

"I saw you talking to Amber and Britt yesterday. I'm sure they've given you all the gossip," Robbe felt Jens' body move closer to him, his voice getting lower and lower as he spoke, "You know what? I'm about to give you the best fucking advice. Try not to listen to what the others tell you. There are no good people here. At the end of the day, we all come from the same roots, don't we?"

Robbe swallowed hard, adjusting his body to the chair. And to think for a moment he really thought Jens might be kind of cool. What was that even about? Was that really advice... or more like a warning? In Robbe's defense, he already knew all that. It was nothing new to him, once again, that that school seemed to be full of people without any values. But the fact that it seemed so banal for someone to admit it made Robbe want to take a step back and run as far out of there as possible.

Robbe didn't really know what to answer back. Lucky for him, a redheaded woman who appeared to be no older than her 30s chose that exact moment to burst into the classroom in a hurry. Robbe watched all the students fall quickly silent, leaning into their respective chairs. 

"Good morning, everyone. I apologize for the delay," the woman spoke calmly, landing a series of papers on the large wooden desk. Then, she looked around the room, stopping at Robbe, "I've just been talking to the principal and it seems we have a new student among us."

Robbe's breathing started to get heavier as soon as he felt everyone's eyes on him. He really hoped that this wasn't one of those situations where he would be forced to stand up and stand in front of everyone as he presented himself. He couldn't do that. What was he really going to say anyway? He was gonna make a fool of himself. Just please, please, please.

"For those of you who didn't already knew," the teacher continued, pointing to Robbe with her gaze, "Robbe IJzermans is our newest student. He was offered a scholarship at the request of the principal. The first scholarship ever here. Incredible."

There was definitely something wrong there, Robbe could feel it. The woman held an open smile on her face, but her voice didn't go anywhere near that smile. Her tone of voice was authoritative and almost... sarcastic, as if she wasn't very happy to be announcing that.

"So, Mr. IJzermans, I'm sure you understand the privilege of being able to study at this school. Let's just make a few things clear here," the smile on the teacher's face quickly disappeared, giving way to a serious expression, "We're graduating top students here. And so everyone is required to do their best, always. And you should be aware that you already have the disadvantage of starting the year in the middle. I'm afraid you don't have the caliber to reach everyone else's level."

Robbe continued his focus on the woman in front of him, even if he was having trouble keeping eye contact. He could hear some laughter from some students sitting there. All he wanted to do was dig a hole in the middle of that room and hide inside for the rest of the class. This was a fucking embarrassing situation for him, but he couldn't put his head down now. He might not have half the stuff those people had in there, but he had a perfect sense of his abilities. If there was one thing he had always been focused on, was always working to get the best grades. And if he had to give double of himself there, then he would do it without question.

Robbe just nodded his head, looking at the teacher with the same intensity as she did. After a few seconds of silence, the woman began by making a short presentation of herself and the discipline in question, making a brief summary of the content of the curriculum unit and possible evaluation alternatives. And Robbe? Well, he quickly removed his notebook and pen, leaning forward on the table, pointing out every single thing she said, even the least revealing ones. She had certainly managed to pull something out off Robbe, because, at that moment, he was more than ready to show everyone that he was more than worthy of a chance like that. 

For a first lesson, it certainly had seemed like a long roller coaster. 

  
°°°

As soon as class was over, Robbe packed his things inside his bag as quickly as possible and left the room in a hurry. He could still hear someone calling his name from behind him. A girl's voice, probably Amber or Britt. It wasn't like, besides them and Jens, he actually talked to someone else there. But he just ignored whatever it was and kept going down the long corridor, he really wasn't in his way to talk to anyone at that moment. Not after the awkward situation everyone had just witnessed. 

Robbe fixed his bag, pressing it firmly on his shoulder. Since the next class on his schedule was physical education, and since he was excused until the end of the week for not having yet received the necessary equipment, then he would take advantage of that time to go to the school library and start organizing everything he had withheld from the previous class. He was walking fast and lost in his own thoughts, he didn't even seem to be noticing the other students passing around him, concentrating all his attention on his own feet. Robbe was almost certain that if he looked up he would be confronted with the same looks as yesterday. 

Robbe turned the corner very quickly, feeling his body colliding immediately with something, or more properly, someone. He lost his swing, and if it wasn't for strong hands reaching around his waist and holding him in his place, preventing him from falling, he would surely spread all over that floor. He looked up quickly, finding the same icy green eyes as yesterday. Sander Driesen. And he didn't seem very happy about the whole situation. In fact, the look he gave Robbe was enough to make a wave of shivers run through his body. He really pondered for a second whether it wouldn't have been better to just fall. 

Robbe felt Sander's hands leave his waist very suddenly and he rushed to balance himself quickly on his own two feet. He risked another look in Sander's direction as he stood there in front of him, one of his eyebrows raised with presumption and his lips pressed together. In another situation, Robbe's concern would be to immediately apologize to the person, babbling that he wasn't paying enough attention. But now he couldn't force a single word out of his mouth. Not when Sander was looking at him in such an intimidating way. But once again, Robbe also knew he couldn't keep his mouth shut much longer, with no reaction, waiting for the other boy to say something first. And the situation was much worse, because not only were they both standing there in silence staring at each other, but there was no noise from all over the place. Robbe knew that if he looked around him it was certain that the rest of the students in that hallway would be staring at the two boys there in the middle.

Robbe cleared his throat, cautiously saying, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you and--"

Sander cut him off quickly, his voice a perfect blend of charm and roughness, sounding nothing but bored with whatever Robbe was gonna say, "How about you be more careful next time?"

Robbe blinked his eyes, staring at the blond boy in a defensive posture. It wasn't for that either. People collided with each other all the time, all normal. It wasn't like he did it on purpose. He really didn't understand the look on Sander's face. What? Besides being the so-called dark lord of Eastwood Liberty, he was also untouchable?

Robbe just shrugged. And, judging by the look on the older boy's face, that was certainly not the reaction he expected. Well, it was all he was going to get from Robbe. 

The blond boy took a step forward, making use of the fact that he was a little taller than Robbe to impose some sort of superiority on him and remained that way with his gaze fixed on him, saying nothing. 

"What?" Robbe asked after a few brief seconds. What was Sander Driesen really trying to do? 

Sander's next words cut through the air, higher than necessary, "You're obviously in my way. Do you have any intention of moving soon, or are you just gonna stand there and stare at me?" 

The blond boy's lips ripped into a clearly defiant smile, challenging Robbe to rebound. And now the brunet was beginning to get impatient. _You're obviously in my way._ Well, Robbe could say the same about him. 

"Or you could just get around me and continue on your way. It's not like I'm holding you here or anything."

A sarcastic laugh escaped Sander's mouth as soon as the younger boy finished talking. What? Did he really think Robbe would lower his head and blindly follow whatever he told him, like everyone else there? What a joke. Robbe didn't care about Sander Driesen and his little group of friends. Let alone their stupid rules. 

The brunet got ready to talk again, making sure Sander realized he wasn't like the others and that he wasn't in his way to do what he was told, but the blond boy didn't give him a chance to talk, moving from where he was standing, taking another step towards Robbe. At this point, he could already feel Sander's warm breath on his own skin, making it harder for him to formulate anything in his mind. His thoughts were everywhere, just a perfect mix of confusion. 

"For someone who just got here," Sander growled, his eyes narrowed, "You're certainly already thinking of yourself really high. I'd slow down if I were you. I really don't want to be the one to do that for you."

Robbe crossed his arms, adjusting his posture, trying to make himself look bigger. It probably didn't work out as much as he wanted, because the only reaction he got from Sander was a small smile with closed lips. That made Robbe almost want to roll his eyes. How could the people at that school even stand him? It took just a little over five minutes in this hallway to make Robbe literally want to punch Sander in the face. He didn't even imagine having to deal with him for years. To Robbe's credit, at least Sander was older than him, which meant he didn't have to see him in classes. 

Robbe faced the blond boy with the same challenging eyes he'd just used on him, hoping he could sound at least a little intimidating when he fought back, "And who decided you were the one in control here? Unlike what you should expect from everyone else, I'm not afraid of you."

So that wasn't the whole truth. Robbe was a little hesitant about him. But that didn't mean he was gonna let that boy walk all over him. No, he was better than that. 

Robbe felt Sander's eyes move for him, seeing a glimpse of a smile on his pink lips. Then the blond boy stared back at Robbe's, smothering a laugh. He leaned his body forward toward the brunet, whispering softly in his ear, audible enough for Robbe to understand, "You should, Robbe IJzermans. You really should."

And with that, Sander passed Robbe, making sure to push the brunet's shoulder hard with his own. Robbe turned quickly, just watching him leave, lagging behind wondering what the fuck had just happened there. Besides, how did Sander Driesen even know his name? 

Robbe could already tell it wasn't going to be easy for him, that those people wouldn't make it easy for him. 

It was like they said, _Welcome to Eastwood Liberty._


	2. Chapter 2

There were only two things Robbe could say about Eastwood Liberty after one day.

One, someone should change the giant bronze plaque fixed on the entrance to something more true like "Welcome to hell."

And two, he was there to stay. 

Of course, not everything had been bad. If he'd just ignored the smug looks, or the little derogatory expressions, then it would have been just like a normal first day of school. But he couldn't ignore that, and he definitely couldn't - and didn't want to - ignore the idiot leader of that feared group, Sander Driesen. Robbe could only laugh at that thought. Because, how could it fit into someone's head that that was the reality of that school? A bunch of immature little boys playing with power and status. It was really hard to swallow that. And Robbe wasn't in his way to do that, anyway. 

After that confrontation with Sander in the hall, Robbe had rushed to the school library, hoping to get through most of the material he had given in class. The rest of his classmates had headed for the physical education class, which was taught inside the sports building. Since he didn't have the necessary equipment, he had been excused from that class until the following week. Which hadn't been so bad. At least, he had enjoyed two hours of comfort in his own company. 

By lunchtime, he had returned alone to the main building, finally seeing the giant wooden door open at the end of the hall. He had immediately spotted Amber and Britt, already positioned in line with the four other girls he had avoided meeting during the school presentation. To his relief, they had waved to him, calling him to their side and dragging him along the line with them. As for the other two boys, Moyo and Aaron, there had been no sign of them all morning, and Robbe made a reminder to himself to wake them up every day from then on. 

Just as he expected, the refectory was exactly like everything else at that school. Rich and extravagant. Big was not exactly the word he would use to describe it. It was gigantic, almost cavernous. The walls were lined with wood and the tables were all perfectly laid out in the space with upholstered leather chairs. In the background, there was a set of white French doors that gave access to a smaller outdoor dining area. His old school canteen next to that one was an authentic joke. That was too much. Even the meals. At the beginning of the metal counter where the trays were running, there was a small pamphlet with all the menus. Robbe's eyes had wandered from the bottom up, not even understanding some of the words. The confused look on his face had delivered him, because, the next thing he knew, Amber was ordering for him, avoiding a possible uncomfortable moment between Robbe and the lady on the other side of the bench, pointing out in a notebook what the students were telling her. The payment system was the same one he'd always known. A little machine where the student card was passed and the respective password was entered. So that part hadn't been complicated. 

Lunch had been filled with random conversation and lots of laughter, to Robbe's own surprise. Those girls weren't bad at all. In fact, he had enjoyed their company. And, of course, just as he expected, he'd been given another social setting by Amber. Or as he liked to call it, just simple, pure gossip. Apparently, and from what they'd mostly quoted, Zoë, the girl with the blonde short hair, had just come out of a relationship with Senne. The one from Sander's little group. Robbe had just kept quiet, while he listened to the words of comfort that left the other girls' mouths. To be honest, he'd been torn between giving her a sympathetic smile or congratulating her, because that boy didn't seem nice at all. But that wasn't his business. 

He had just had one more afternoon class, finally being free to go to the dorms. When he had entered the shared room, he had been immediately confronted with the image of Moyo and Aaron, each lying in their respective bed, while holding a laptop on their lap. They had greeted Robbe normally. And if it hadn't been for the tired voices, then surely the pillboxes and water glasses on each of the bedside tables had delivered them completely. And, honestly, neither of the two boys had seemed a bit bothered by the fact that they missed a whole day of school. That couldn't even cross Robbe's mind. But, once again, it wasn't his business. 

At least that night, he'd had a chance to talk to his mom on the phone, after almost five days without any contact. She was getting better, that's what she had said. And she was getting better for him. And even if Robbe wanted to believe every one of those words, he knew, deep down, that she still had a long way to go. And he hated that he wasn't there to hold her hand, or to just take her side through the whole process. They had talked about his new school. And, of course, Robbe had lied to her, telling her how much he was enjoying being there so far. It had been a quick conversation, much to his relief. Hearing his mom's voice had brought a few tears to his eyes, tears that he had held in with his full strength. It was not the right time to give a weak part. Especially, considering where he was. And where he would have to stay for a long time.

°°°

"Aaron, come on," Robbe sighed after a few minutes, "We should have left by now."

He watched the curly-haired boy run around the room as he threw notebooks and more loose leaves into a small bag. That was one of the reasons he liked to do things by himself and at his own pace. He could already be walking past the door of the main building, walking to his first class of the day, but no. He was still stuck in his dorm, standing more than impatiently, waiting for his roommate to be ready. 

"Okay, okay, no need to rush," Aaron said as he approached Robbe, already with his bag hanging from his left shoulder. 

Robbe wasted no more time, walking in hurried, wide steps, out of the dorms, not even bothering to notice if the other two guys were following him. But from the indecipherable talk and laughter too loud for that hour in the morning, he knew they were.

Once again, Robbe hadn't been able to get past the refectory before classes to get breakfast there, just grabbing something quick to eat from one of the vending machines spread around the school. He really hoped it wouldn't become a ritual. 

"See?" Aaron's voice suddenly spoke from behind him, making him look over his shoulder at him, who was staring at the clock stuck to his right wrist, "We still have ten minutes left, just like I said. You need to learn to relax in the morning, bro."

Robbe forced himself to shrug. If it hadn't been for his first class yesterday, he probably wouldn't be so alert. _I'm afraid you don't have the caliber to get to everyone else's level_. The words still wandered through his mind, telling him he had to be exemplary there. He had to be perfect. And he didn't want to make a single slip. Not when most people there, including his teachers, already had certain doubts about his performance there. The school was really something he took seriously. Besides, he still had one more stop to make before heading into the classroom. 

Robbe cleared his throat, finally turning around, "I still need to get my book from the locker."

He watched as Moyo let out a muffled laugh from his mouth, "Lockers, really?" The boy must have noticed the confusing expression on his face, adding, "Nobody uses these anymore, dude."

Nobody had actually said that to Robbe. Also, why didn't anyone else use it? They just walked around carrying the different heavy books? Well, he wouldn't. And he needed to hurry if he wanted to get to class on time.

"I think I'll see you in class then," he said, quickly forcing his feet in the opposite direction, toward the long corridor in front of him. 

There weren't that many lockers in that area, so finding his own yesterday, hadn't been too difficult. And he remembered exactly the place, hurrying over there. Unlike the first time, the combination of the lock resulted at the first attempt, but to his misfortune, the lock did not seem to want to give way.

"Fucking locker," Robbe murmured over his breathing, hoping there was no other student looking at him at that moment, watching him try to force the little door with several strong tugs.

He definitely didn't need that now. Why did everything always seem to be against him? Even the most insignificant things?

And suddenly he felt a firm arm pass by his head, reaching for the little lock, opening it in a single movement, a voice speaking right over his ear, repeating quietly exactly what he had just said, in a clear playful imitation, "Fucking locker."

Robbe tilted his head slightly upward, being immediately confronted with Jens' calm eyes. Close to his own. Way too close. How did he even get there? Jens must have had the quietest steps, or Robbe was so focused on trying to fight his locker, he hadn't even noticed the other guy. Still, he took advantage of the help he'd been offered, quickly grabbing one of the two books that was there, closing the little door in front of his face, turning back towards Jens, with his book pressed against his chest. 

"Thank you," he said in a low voice, making sure to hold a small grateful smile on his lips.

Jens nodded, finally taking a step back, creating some distance between them, his eyes still staring at him, then asking, "Are you coming to class?"

Robbe shook his head affirmatively, just waiting for the other guy to say something else. For a second, he'd almost forgotten about the class. 

"Okay, so," the tallest guy kept talking after a few brief seconds, realizing that Robbe wasn't really gonna say anything else, adding, "Should we get going?"

Robbe finally got out of his trance, forcing his body out of the same place, beginning to take small steps towards the Wing B, where most of his classes were, feeling Jens reaching him a few seconds later, walking side by side. 

To his relief, the minute they approached the classroom, was the same minute an older man in a fancy black suit was walking past the door. Robbe would have been so upset if he had been late. 

Jens let Robbe in first, following behind him to the same empty table at the back of the room. All the other students were already sitting straight in their respective chairs, and Robbe really had to make an effort to ignore their looks, especially from his two roommates and the girls, as he walked up to his place. He knew they weren't exactly staring at him, but at him and the tall boy showing up together through the door. Robbe really didn't understand what kind of relationship Jens had with his other classmates. Honestly, he didn't really seem to get along with any of them, and that was kind of weird. Would that just have to do with him hanging out with the other three guys, or would it be more than that? Jens didn't seem like the kind of guy who would go around trying to rule everything, or being mean to other people just because he felt like that. He didn't seem like Sander at all. But, for some reason, Robbe couldn't avoid the sideways glances coming from Moyo and Aaron right in his direction. And they didn't look very pleasant. Maybe he was wrong about the boy sitting next to him and he was exactly like that. If he thought about it, Jens himself had told him that he shouldn't trust anyone in there, that all people were the same, at the end of the day. But he couldn't ignore that there was definitely something else there. And he couldn't understand what. But that was a thought for another time, because, at that moment, he needed to hurry up and get his notebook and a pen to start pointing out everything he could. That was what should have been on his mind. Focus on the studies, not some possible stupid drama that was circulating there. 

The class was going on for a good 50 minutes, with Robbe quickly writing down anything he could pick up, but the task wasn't being easy at all. He was writing and writing and writing. But in the end, as soon as he looked at the completely filled out sheet in front of his eyes, he really didn't understand what was scribbled there at all. And that was already starting to stress him out, to the point where he had to put his pen down on the table and take a deep breath while he tried to make sense of the words. Something that could, at least, work on his head.

Jens must have noticed his posture, because, not even a minute later, Robbe felt him leaning his head slightly towards him, whispering as low as he could, trying not to disturb the teacher's speech, "I can help you with that. If you want, of course."

Robbe finally looked at him, watching him relax back in his chair. He didn't even have a single thing on his side of the table. How would he help him if he didn't seem to be paying attention to whatever was being said there himself? 

"You're not even looking," Robbe whispered back, his eyes being drawn to a little white light peeking under the table. Of course Jens would be on his phone. 

The tallest guy muffled a laugh, bouncing back in a confident tone, "That doesn't mean I'm not listening, you know?" He finally kept his phone in the front pocket of his beige school uniform pants, his eyebrows rising in a bow, "So, what do you say?"

Robbe pondered for a minute. He knew that matter would eventually mess up his whole brain. And he was upset about it. He'd never had that problem before. He really enjoyed learning. It was just that the methods of that school were quite different from his old one, and he was afraid that what they had told him, that he wasn't going to be able to keep up with the other students, wasn't that far from the truth. Of course, he could ask Yasmina for help now that he knew her better, and considering that her grades were always at the top. But he'd be lying if he said he wasn't kinda embarrassed to even try to ask her. And Jens was there, freely volunteering. It wouldn't be so bad if he took it. Right?

Well, Robbe wasn't really in a position to refuse any help he could get, so he just nodded in Jens' direction, making sure the boy understood that he was in. 

"Can't wait for our study session," Jens said with an open smile sprouting from his lips. 

Was he just being ironic, or would he really help him? Well, when it came to that boy sitting next to him, Robbe could never be too sure. 

°°°

As soon as the bell rang, Robbe packed his things quickly, throwing his bag over his right shoulder, rushing to meet the group of friends, who were already outside the room waiting for him. And this time he'd have Moyo and Aaron with him during lunchtime. Not that the girls were that bad. He had already come to that conclusion. They'd been nice with him the day before, but Robbe would be lying if he said the two hours of continuous gossip hadn't upset him a bit. 

They all started heading together to the hall where the meals were served, Robbe and Britt a bit further along, while the others followed behind them, busy talking about how that class had taken so long to get through and how excited they were for the weekend. 

"So," Britt's soft voice brought Robbe's attention to her, "Is everything going well so far?"

Robbe shrugged, giving her a little smile, "I mean, it's only been two days."

Britt nodded, going on, "But are you enjoying it better now? You didn't seem very excited the first day."

That was true, Robbe thought. He really wasn't too happy about having to go in there in the first place. He still had a long way to go, but he couldn't really complain about everything. His room was nice. His roommates were cool. The girls had welcomed him very well. So, there were good things there, he couldn't deny it. 

"It's not all bad, you know?"

As soon as the group passed the big wooden door, they quickly positioned themselves in the already formed row of students, waiting for their turn. Robbe went ahead, dragging his tray along the metal counter, making sure to thank the staff who served him the hot plate of food and the soup bowl with gold details. It wasn't the first time he was entering that place, but he still felt strange. In his old school, they were probably, at that time, students trying to get in line, passing in front of other people, or others complaining because the food was cold. But there, they were all so... civilized. They weren't in a hurry, taking their time to talk to each other while they waited for whatever menu they had chosen. 

Robbe took his tray, going towards the area where all the tables were, scouring with his eyes around the place for an empty one. As soon as his gaze landed on a table further down the hall that hadn't been occupied by anyone yet, he started walking there. It took Robbe no more than five steps to feel a sudden push on his shoulder, making him quickly grab the tray firmly with both hands to prevent everything from falling to that ground with the force of the bump. As Robbe recovered the swing from his body, straightening himself again, he looked over his shoulder in time to see the boy with the long hair who was part of that little group of four, walking past him, smiling maliciously as he murmured a somewhat sarcastic apology. If Robbe remembered correctly, Amber and Britt had said his name was Luka something.

Robbe watched him walk to a table a few feet from where he was standing, and, even if he wasn't looking at him, from the way Luka's shoulders were shaking, it was clear that he was openly laughing at what he had just done. _So fucking childish_ , it was the only thought Robbe was able to reproduce in his head. 

He slowly turned around, putting his gaze on the group of friends behind him. The girls didn't even try to pretend, looking around, avoiding his eyes, focusing their attention on something other than the scene in front of them. Moyo still risked a look in Robbe's direction, but the way his body was standing rigidly in the same place, Robbe knew he couldn't count on his help. The way they reacted, he knew that kind of situation was something normal at that school. Why? That was Robbe's only question. Why did everyone in there subject themselves to it and act like it was something vulgar, when obviously everything was wrong with it? That was a fucking pyramid. What those four boys? They were clearly on top. Well, lucky for him, Robbe didn't give a fuck about that. Everybody in there could consent and do nothing about it, but he wasn't everybody. It was just a push and that wasn't such a problem, but if Robbe just let it go and did nothing about it, he'd be doing exactly what everyone else was doing there. Giving that little group more and more power. And it wasn't as if they needed any more, they were already treated like walking gods.

As Robbe turned again towards the table where Lukas had headed to, something else immediately caught his attention. A platinum blond hair and a pair of green eyes, always so cold and unwelcome. His gaze immediately met Sander's. The blond boy was sitting right in the middle of the table, his body completely relaxed back in the chair, holding the most presumptuous smile, looking as if he was just watching his favorite show. And that was all it took for Robbe to move his feet decisively in his direction. As he approached the table, he dropped his tray hard in front of Sander, the loud banging sound echoing through the walls around him. Silence quickly set in and Robbe knew that, at that moment, all eyes were on him. Well, fuck that. Isn't that what those people wanted? A free show? Something to talk about? They were about to get it. Robbe positioned both his hands on the table firmly, leaning his body towards Sander.

"You know, Sander," Robbe started talking confidently, making sure to chant his name a little slower than the rest of the words, "As soon as I got here and some people warned me to watch out for you, I really thought I was dealing with some big top game."

Robbe paused his speech, taking a few seconds to assess Sander's reaction. All he got back was nothing, literally nothing. Robbe would be lying if he said he wasn't at all intimidated by his attitude. Not even a blink of an eye. Nothing. It was like nothing hit him. The blond boy's expression remained stable, holding the same arrogant smile as ever, just staring back at Robbe with his cold, sharp look. Well, Robbe would have to raise his game. The only thing he knew, was that there was no way he was going to turn his back and get out of there without even getting a single reaction from the other guy. As minimal as it might be. Robbe needed to make sure Sander understood that he wasn't going to be another person they could control in there.

Robbe cleared his throat, getting ready to talk again, louder this time, making sure that all the students around him clearly understood the words that were about to leave his mouth. 

"This is all you got, really? This stupid child's play?" Robbe let out a little muffled laugh, slowly shaking his head, "What did you expect, huh? Just look around you. This is not a typical fucking cliché movie and you're definitely not the big, scary man I'm supposed to be afraid of. I really expected more from you, Driesen." 

Robbe smiled proudly at himself, as soon as he noticed Sander's expression hardening quickly, the smirk on his lips finally starting to fade. Oh, so his face wasn't just a big void after all. Robbe watched the blond boy straightening in his chair, leaning forward, his arms going to rest on the table. With this new position, their faces were so close together that the brunet could even feel Sander's heavy breathing on his skin. The blond boy opened his mouth ready to talk once and for all, but Robbe interrupted him quickly. He hadn't finished yet. All that hadn't been enough for him to get the reaction he wanted from Sander. He needed more. The final blow. And he knew exactly what he had to say. 

"Just look at you. You can't even do the things for yourself... no, you let your little puppets do everything for you, while you just sit and laugh. Well, I'm more than disappointed."

And there it was. What Robbe was waiting for. He had finally managed to poke the beast. If Sander's eyes could kill, Robbe was sure he'd be dead by now. But, fuck if it wasn't worth it. Seeing the older boy's angry look cut through him like knives and his fists so tight his fingers looked almost white.

"I told you before," Sander let the words leave his lips after a few brief seconds, relaxing his body back in his chair, trying to look nothing but disinterested. Robbe knew that was just an act. There was nothing peaceful about him, "But you clearly didn't get the message that well. I don't think you understand your place here, am I right?"

Robbe swallowed dry, trying not to give in to his sudden need to look away from Sander. It wasn't like he didn't know it was gonna happen. After all, that was the older boy's only ability. Using his highest position at that school to try to intimidate those who clearly weren't on his level. That could work with everyone, but not Robbe. He didn't care about labels. He never had to live by them. And if Sander really thought he could hold that against him, well... he was completely wrong. 

Robbe made sure to put his body down a bit more on the table, provocatively asking, "And what exactly is my place here?" 

Robbe didn't lose the way Sander took his lower lip between his teeth, sucking it in lightly, trying to hold on to a smile. Fuck, he just wished someone could beat that smile out of his face. It was annoying how impassively he held it in. There were only a few seconds when Robbe managed to pull something out of him. But more than that? Nothing, just an empty, cold face. 

Robbe watched Sander lift his chin in a posture of superiority, crossing his arms rigidly. His gaze met again with the pair of green eyes in front of him. They looked fearless, provocative, almost as if they could spit fire through them. It was a visible challenge, Robbe could feel it. And he was sure, whatever Sander's answer was, it would hit him back hard.

"Simple," the blond boy's voice broke through the space, sounding perfectly clear, purposefully, so that anyone there would be able to hear him, "You don't have a place here."

Some muffled sound could be heard once Sander finished his sentence. Robbe finally diverted his attention from the blond boy to the other boys who were also sitting at that table, being immediately confronted with the image of Senne and Luka with their heads bent down, trying to hold their laughter. What was so funny about that whole situation? Robbe wished he could understand. Was it laughable to them the way they were chasing someone for no apparent reason or were they just trying to please Sander, like the good little puppets they were? Either way, it didn't matter why. What they were doing wasn't right, and someone needed to step forward and make them realise that, once and for all. And for a moment, Robbe really thought he could be that person. No, that he had to be that person. But looking at things now, would it really be worth it? He'd tried once with Sander in that hallway yesterday, and he'd tried again today. But it seemed, the more Robbe positioned himself against him, the more he wanted to drag him down. He'd only been at that school for two days. Two days. And that had been enough for the older boy to decide who and what Robbe was. And honestly? Robbe had no desire to try to change his mind. If Sander, for some sick reason, wanted to see Robbe as some kind of enemy, even if he hadn't given him any reason to, then he could go ahead. After all, Robbe was there to stay, and Sander might as well get used to it. 

Robbe risked a look in Jens' direction, who was sitting at the end of the table next to Senne. The expression on his face looked serious, his jaw tightened rigidly, as if he was bothered by something. He made no movement to find Robbe's gaze, which still remained focused on him, waiting for his reaction. Something... _please_. Even the slightest gesture. Something that could show Robbe that, that Jens right there was the same Jens from earlier. The same one who offered Robbe help with his classes, the same one who laughed with him about some fucking locker. But he got nothing. Sure, he wasn't exactly cooperating with Sander. But he wasn't on his way to do anything about it either. Not that Robbe needed anyone to defend him, he could perfectly well do it for himself, just like he'd always done. But a little help wasn't going to be turned down at all, since he was standing there alone. Well, at least, Jens wasn't laughing like the others. Not that it would make the situation any better. But it was something. 

His friends, or at least what Robbe thought would be his friends, were far from being seen. He didn't even risk a look behind him towards the group. They would certainly still be standing in line just watching that, just like all the other students. Not that he was expecting any of them to intervene, they hadn't helped him before, and they certainly weren't going to do it now. So Robbe just let his shoulders fall slowly with a heavy sigh. He didn't really have many options there. He could take his tray, turn his back and get out of there, but by doing so, he'd just be letting Sander and the other guys win. But staying there meant having to stand there while listening to the older boy distill words that were only meant to humiliate him and make him feel completely out of place. _Ugh_. Robbe really pondered if he couldn't just take the glass of water on his tray and push it in Sander's face, no matter how childish it was. But was it even worth it? No, nothing good would come of it. Sander would probably find a way to hit Robbe twice as hard as he already had. 

So he just shrugged his shoulders, forcing the words out of his mouth, trying not to seem embarrassed by the other two boys' laughs, or the fact that Sander had just openly said Robbe was basically a nobody there, while everyone's gaze was on them both.

"You know, Sander, it's not up to you to decide if i have a place here or not," Robbe finally took his hands off the table, straightening himself again, trying to create a safe distance between him and the older boy. He didn't feel like being around him anymore. Whatever he was trying to do, was clearly not having the desired effect on Sander, "I achieved this on my own merit and I deserve the place just like anyone else."

"Your own merit?" Luka's voice cut through the air, drawing Robbe's attention to him. As soon as the younger boy's gaze crossed his, Luka's smile grew even more, looking absolutely cruel. Robbe could feel with his whole body that nothing good would come out of it, "I wouldn't call a charity case a own merit." 

Robbe didn't lose the way Sander looked rigidly at his friend sitting next to him, silencing him with his eyes. What? Now he was trying to throw the good guy in there? After what he had just said? Or not. No, no. Robbe knew exactly what was happening. Sander wanted to be the one to say those words. That had to be it. Or maybe, maybe, Robbe's words about him just sitting there laughing, while his friends went around trying to impose some posture of superiority had affected Sander. 

Robbe opened his mouth to answer Luka, already tired of all that talk, "Does being offered a scholarship suddenly make me a charity case?" He stopped talking, wondering if he should go on and just say what had been on his mind all that time. That would probably cause him more trouble, but at that point, he didn't even care anymore. Whatever he said or did, didn't seem to matter at all. Those boys had already made up their minds about him. So he might as well let the words fly out of his lips, "You know, when everything in life is already handed to you, it becomes easier to talk, isn't that right? Guess not everyone can take advantage of daddy's money to get what they want."

"You need to-," Luka started to say, but Sander quickly interrupted him in an aggressive tone.

"Are you done talking?"

Robbe was a little confused by the satisfied smile in Luka's mouth, until his eyes met with Sander's and he realized the older boy had actually directed it at him. Of course he did. Why did Robbe's stupid mind even think, for a few seconds, that he was shutting his friend up? 

Robbe just nodded. He was far from finished, but it didn't matter. Those boys weren't ready to hear some truths, they were too deep in their little fantasy world, and Robbe was too tired to be the one to pull them out. 

Sander cast his eyes at the younger boy calmly, making sure to take a long look at each little trace. The brunet was forced to divert his attention. Sander's eyes on him were making him feel exposed and... vulnerable. And if Robbe had approached that table confidently at first, then at that moment he just wanted to turn around and run out of there. He hated attention. Especially when it came from a pair of haunting green eyes. 

"Okay, if you're done then," Sander spat the words hard, "What are you still doing standing there?"

"Sander," Jens' voice echoed quickly on the opposite side of the table, sounding clearly as a warning.

 _Oh, so now he wanted to intervene?_ Robbe resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He could handle Sander on his own. It wasn't like he hadn't done it by now. 

Robbe tilted his head slightly to the side, clenching his eyes just a little, "For someone who apparently doesn't have a place here, you seem very bothered with my presence."

The younger boy didn't even wait for Sander's response, grabbing his tray quickly and advancing to the empty table he'd seen at the end of the hall, sitting with his back to all the other students. After a few brief seconds, the absolute silence that had set in as Robbe stepped towards the table where the four boys were sitting, was again replaced by the usual noise of incomprehensible words and loud laughter and cutlery hitting the plates with a loud noise. 

Robbe felt someone put the tray down on the table, finally bending his head up in time to see Moyo sitting on his left side, accompanied by his remaining friends. Aaron took the seat on the other side of Robbe, giving him a gentle squeeze on his shoulder before he sat down. The girls occupied all the chairs in front of the boys, except for Amber, who quickly dropped her tray next to Aaron's. 

They just ate quietly, none of them knowing exactly what to say, but Robbe could feel everyone's eyes set on him, hoping he'd talk first. Well, that wasn't gonna happen. Everyone there had heard clearly what had happened. There was really nothing more to add. At least, from Robbe's side. 

"Don't mind that," Jana was the first to speak, the words coming gently out of her mouth, "He'll get tired eventually."

 _He'll get tired eventually_. Robbe almost rolled his eyes. That was just ridiculous. Sander would eventually get tired. And until that happened, Robbe would have to subject himself to situations like the one from few minutes ago, or the one from the hallway, or the many more that would come. But it was okay, _Sander would eventually get tired_. How funny was that? 

"So, I should just put my head down and wait, is that it?" Robbe fought back quickly. He knew none of them were to blame for Sander and the others' actions, but staying quiet was enough for them to let that happen.

"Sorry," Jana intervened again, adding, "I didn't mean it like that."

Robbe nodded lightly, saying, "I know. I'm just really upset about all of this. It's not supposed to work like that, you know? And none of us should just shut up and let them do it."

"I respect you, man," Aaron said on Robbe's side, his voice loud, a perfect contrast to the soft tone Jana had used, "Seriously, you got some balls. But, look, I really don't want to risk my place here. I'll be quietly supporting you from behind, though."

Robbe let a muffled laugh escape, shaking his head. It wasn't even what Aaron said, it was the way he said it. It was practically impossible to get more than five minutes serious in his presence. 

"Well, lucky for me, I couldn't care less," Robbe said, "If the dark lord wants me out of here, I'll be more than ready to obey him."

Moyo laughed on Robbe's side, "Dark lord? Is that what we're calling him now?"

Robbe shrugged his shoulders, focusing on the food on his plate. Deep down, what he had said wasn't entirely true. He cared about staying there. Not because of the school. But because, if he left, it meant another victory for Sander and he wasn't in his way to give it to him that easily. 

The conversation at the table continued as normal, the situation just being pulled to the side. Robbe looked slightly over his shoulder, risking one last look in Sander's direction. To his surprise, the blond boy already had his eyes fixed on him intensely. His expression was neutral, his face completely empty. But the brunet wouldn't be fooled anymore. There were certain unknown emotions there that Sander was trying to bury deep inside him, covered in all that darkness, but Robbe was ready to pull each one to the surface.

Robbe turned his head again, abandoning Sander's attentive gaze, but not before giving him a triumphant little smile, making sure he understood that he was there to stay, and that he was more than ready to accept his challenge. 

°°°

"What are you doing?" Moyo asked as soon as his eyes landed on Robbe.

Robbe stopped what he was doing, looking up from where he was kneeling on the ground, searching through his small black bag, "I can't find the sheet with the notes I took from last class. I'm sure I left it in the middle of one of the books, but I don't know where it is now."

Robbe saw Moyo's expression changing quickly, his face holding a confused look, "Okay, and why do you need it now?"

"So that I can study what we already have", Robbe replied, bowing his eyebrows to the other boy. It was kind of obvious. Why else would he need the sheet if not so he could review what he had written there?

Robbe didn't lose the way Moyo took both of his hands to his face, letting out a playful scream, "Robbe, dude, it's Friday night. This is no time to study."

"Do you have anything else to do?"

"Yeah, of course," Moyo approached Robbe's bed, sitting on the end, "We got a party to go."

A party? Robbe looked at him confused, his head slightly tilted to the side. How could they even go to a party there? They were literally stuck inside that school until tomorrow. Saturday morning was the only time the giant school gates were open to anyone who wanted to go home for the whole weekend. How the hell could they go out to a party? Maybe Moyo was referring to a small meet in some other boys' room and calling it a party. Either way, it was a lot more practical to just ask than to draw conclusions on his own.

"A party where exactly?"

Moyo shrugged his shoulders, looking like he didn't even know the answer to that question himself, "I don't know, it's always in a different place. I'm just waiting for them to send me a text saying where it's gonna be tonight."

Moyo must have noticed the shuffled expression on Robbe's face, because he kept talking, slowly explaining, "It's not something huge, but there's drinks and it's a nice way to spend time here," the boy stopped talking, making sure Robbe was following everything he was saying, then adding, "It's usually Sander and Senne who organise almost every party. Not everyone's invited, though."

 _Ugh_. Robbe had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. It was obvious that it had to be those boys who organized those parties. At the end of the day, they controlled everything there. They'd probably overthrow every other party that wasn't decided by them, considering how big as their arrogance and prepotency. 

"So, how do you know you were invited?" Robbe risked asking, trying to look as casual as possible. That was just purely curiosity. It wasn't like he cared about those parties. He didn't care at all. 

"Easy," Moyo said, "If you get the text, you're invited."

Robbe had to hold back a laugh, "And what makes you think we," he raised his arm, pointing his finger at each other, "Got a party to go?"

Moyo smiled proudly, leaning his body a little further forward, taking his elbows to rest on his knees, "I've always been invited, for all of them, and tonight will not be the exception."

"Okay, and what about me?" Robbe asked, getting up from where he was kneeling on the floor, sitting next to Moyo on his bed, leaving behind his search for the sheet of paper with his class notes.

"What do you mean?" Moyo asked, "You're going to be invited, for sure. You just started this week. Think of it as a welcome party."

 _A welcome party?_ This time, Robbe couldn't control his eye roll. Of course, because he'd been so well received there by those boys. 

"Come on, Moyo, we're talking about Sander and Senne. No way I'm getting invited."

Moyo nodded with a little smile coming out of his lips, "Okay, let's just wait and see, then."

Robbe dropped himself back on the bed, letting a muffled laugh out of his mouth. They could wait as long as he wanted, that text wasn't coming. At least, not to Robbe. And it was almost comical that Moyo might even think that was going to happen. 

"It's not gonna happen."

"What's not gonna happen?" Robbe forced his body up, looking in the direction of the voice, watching Aaron come out of the bathroom, wearing a fancy navy blue shirt, buttoned up to his neck, and his hair perfectly curly and combed without a single strand out of place. As soon as Aaron approached the bed where he was sitting next to Moyo, Robbe was immediately invaded by the smell of expensive cologne. Fuck, those people really took those parties seriously. Or maybe, walking around like that was normal for them. Either way, it was too much. Or, at least, from Robbe's perspective. School parties should be funny, right? It wasn't like he was going to some kind of fund-raising gala.

"Dude, you're not coming to play tonight," Moyo whistled on Robbe's side, "Getting all the girls, I see."

Robbe watched Aaron slap Moyo on the head, "Shut up, man. You know I only got eyes for Amber," the curly-haired boy stopped talking, looking at each other, adding, "Why aren't you guys ready yet?"

"You were taking all the time there," Moyo fought back, getting up fast and heading for the bathroom. 

Robbe just sat on his bed, just staring at Aaron struggling to get his silver watch around his wrist and pouring a little more perfume on his clothes, as if he didn't have enough already. 

Something vibrating took Robbe out of his trance, making him look quickly at his bedside table, seeing his phone turn on with a little light, indicating a new notification. He barely had time to stretch to grab it before he heard Moyo's phone vibrating too, tossed at the gutter on his bed, followed by Aaron's.

"What did I tell you?"

Robbe turned back on the bed towards the voice, seeing Moyo's head appear through the little wooden bathroom door. 

"It probably had nothing to do with it," Robbe took a sigh. 

Moyo started walking towards his bed, still half dressed, grabbing his phone in one of his hands. Not even two seconds later, Robbe watched the two boys in front of him look at each other quickly. 

"These guys are insane," Aaron said, shaking his head slightly, while Moyo held on to a satisfied smile. 

Robbe ignored whatever they were talking to each other, stretching his arm to grab his phone from the little table. As soon as he unlocked the screen, he was immediately confronted with a text from an unknown number that simply said "pool". So he was being invited after all? The only question that drifted through Robbe's mind at that moment was, why? Why did he get that text? Why did they even want him there? Was it like Moyo had said and was it just because he was new there? Or... was that just another way to bring Robbe back to them and make sure he understood the message once and for all? Whatever the option, Robbe wasn't sensing anything good coming from it. Those boys didn't like him. They'd been pretty explicit when they'd told him he didn't have a place there. Then why was that happening?

Robbe still thought about erasing the message and pretending it was nothing, but the other two boys were already looking at him with persuasive eyes, seeing the reluctance stamped on his face. Fuck, Robbe really didn't feel like going. And what did 'pool' even mean? Or, where was it even? That was the question. He didn't want to get in trouble, especially in his first week there. And judging by the comment Aaron had made as soon as he had read the text, he was certainly about to get into one. 

"Guys, look--," Robbe began to speak, half- hesitantly, quickly being interrupted by Moyo.

"Come on, Robbe. It'll be fun, I promise. We always have the best stories from these parties," the guy stopped talking, diverting his attention to Aaron, a funny smile on his lips, "Like, remember when we went to that bar in the middle of town and you twisted your foot jumping over the gate? Man, Amber was so worried, she was ready to call the ambulance." 

Robbe watched the two boys share a laugh between them, before Aaron bounced back, "Or that time they took us into the middle of the fucking woods. I swear I spent all night scratching myself over the fucking nettles."

Moyo quickly turned to Robbe, bowing his eyebrows with conviction, "See? We always have a good time."

Robbe let out a heavy sigh, "Where's this party even gonna be? The text just said pool."

He watched Moyo's smile grow openly on his face with his question, but Robbe hadn't totally given in yet. Sure, a party was a party. And Robbe enjoyed a good time. But something just didn't feel right and he wasn't ready to find out what it was. 

"Yeah, it's the school pool," Moyo explained, continuing, "I didn't really think they'd break into the building, but coming from the same people who threw a party inside one of the classrooms, I should have expected everything."

Wait. Having a party inside a classroom. Who would do that? More importantly, how would they even do that? That school was full of security cameras everywhere. There were, at least, four security guards running around the different buildings at night, making sure nobody broke the rules. The principal had explained that to Robbe when he had invited him into his office on his first day. 

_And what the fuck, that school had a pool?_

And they were gonna break into it?

"I don't know," Robbe cautiously said after a few seconds. It was just too much for him. 

Aaron intervened on Moyo's side, saying, "Come on, Robbe. I promise we're not doing anything wrong, it's just a little fun. Nothing's ever happened so far. The principal knows about this, but as long as there's no complaint, he won't do anything to stop it," the boy stopped talking, throwing his arms in the air with conviction, adding, "And let's be real, no one would report a party planned by Sander and Senne. They'd be fucked if they did."

Of course they would be, what a surprise for Robbe. But the fact that the director knew and did nothing about it didn't suddenly make it better. Moyo had said something about breaking into the building. And, honestly, it didn't sound like they weren't doing something bad in Robbe's eyes. Everybody there could have had their place guaranteed in that school, but he wasn't everybody. So he needed to be careful with what he did. He could complain about anything from that place, but being put out was not an option. Living in the same house as his father wasn't an option. 

Robbe let a tired sigh escape. He knew Moyo and Aaron wouldn't leave him until he gave in, once and for all. Maybe he could just go for a while, and if he wasn't feeling comfortable there, he could just turn around and go back to the dorms. Right? 

Robbe finally nodded in the direction of the two boys, watching them exchange a triumphant smile with each other.

"I just need to finish getting dressed and I'm ready to go," Moyo said quickly as he headed back to the bathroom. 

Robbe sat on his bed, lost in his own thoughts, until he felt Aaron's gaze, standing just a few feet from him, staring at him, his eyes slightly wandering over him. He just gave him a confused look, hoping the boy would decide to say something. 

"So," Aaron began to speak, his tone of voice clearly hesitating, "Are you thinking of going like that? I have some clothes I can lend you, if you want."

Robbe quickly averted his eyes from Aaron's by assessing the clothes he was wearing. The usual black jeans. His favorite red hoodie. It wasn't that bad. The clothes were comfortable and he felt good in them. And that was all that mattered. And he wasn't gonna change just for a few hours. He probably wouldn't even stay at the party that long. He hadn't even gotten there yet and he already wanted to go back to his room, so... Either way, Aaron should be grateful that Robbe's uniform hasn't arrived yet, or he would have gone like that.

Robbe cleared his throat, banging, "I'm fine. Thanks, anyway."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I--," Aaron started to say, but Robbe interrupted him, muttering that it was all fine.

After that, it was a little awkward in the bedroom, but luckily, Moyo opened the bathroom door after just a few minutes, showing up, all ready. Robbe took a long look in his direction as he watched him spray the same perfume Aaron had previously worn all over his clothes. What was it with the two of them literally taking perfume baths? Or the shirts completely buttoned up? Robbe could understood that during the day, wearing those tight white shirts was mandatory, but outside normal class hours? Who in their right mind could stand to walk around with that, all night long, when they could just enjoy something comfortable? He would never understand. Once again, he found himself wondering whether it was really just a simple party or an exquisite gala. Robbe almost let a loud laugh slip while asking himself if, once he got there, he was going to be confronted with expensive old wine bottles instead of vodka and cheap beer. Because those two boys in front of him looked more like they were ready for a good tasting. 

"We're all ready?" Moyo asked, after he straightened his shirt at least three times. 

Both Robbe and Aaron nodded, following Moyo out of the room. As soon as Robbe slammed the door behind him, there was just one question in his mind. _Was it too late to go back now?_ But he decided to simply push that thought out of his head, focusing on something else. 

"Will the girls be there too?" Robbe asked, as they passed the big wooden door of the dorm building. 

"Nope," Aaron replied with a head shake, "Amber told me they were having a girls' night. Besides, since Zoë and Senne broke up, she hasn't been to any of this parties, and the others just choose to stay with her." 

Robbe just nodded, leaving it at that. He didn't want to admit it loud, but he kind of hoped the girls would be there too. Or maybe, he just kind of wanted them to be. 

As the three boys headed towards a large building that was right behind the main school one where the classes were held, in the midst of random conversation and laughter, Robbe tried to tell himself that he was doing it just for the other two and not because he was, deep down, a little curious himself. 

He followed behind Moyo and Aaron, passing through a small door, leading into the building. The three headed down a long, minimally lit corridor, already hearing the low sound of music and people laughing. Robbe's footsteps suddenly began to slow down, his body being struck quickly by a sudden wave of nervousness. He really wasn't enjoying that situation at all. It just seemed wrong what they were doing. That was school property and he didn't need to read all the rules to understand that the students shouldn't be breaking into that place. Especially not to throw a party. Robbe could almost feel the trouble it would cause. But he just forced those thoughts into the back of his mind, starting to take faster steps to keep up with the other two boys.

As soon as that long corridor came to an end and they passed through a double glass door that gave access to the main space, Robbe almost had to control himself so as not to drop his mouth open right there. He hadn't seen that building before, much less someone had told him about its existence, but when he imagined that place back in their dorm, it definitely hadn't crossed his mind that image right in front of him. How much more luxury could that school even hold? Robbe looked around him, letting his eyes take a long look through space, slowly watching every little detail. To his left, there was a wide white staircase that led to a series of small cabins that went around the entire space. In the background, instead of a solid gray wall, were three huge windows, with a full view outside, that reflected all the illumination that came from the numerous small lights distributed all over the interior. And right in the middle, taking up almost half of the total space, was a gigantic pool filled to the top with pale blue clean water. The blue shadows of the pool reflected the faces of the people standing around it, causing Robbe to finally look up, seeing the groups of students already scattered all over the place. He didn't really think there would be so many people there, considering the little noise that filled the air. Well, those people definitely knew how to throw a quiet party. If it was like most of the parties Robbe used to attend, by that time there would be people swallowing each other's faces against a wall, or some already passed out on the floor. But that one was basically just people talking and laughing at each other, while playing a low noise of music in the background. If it weren't for the many different bottles of drinks lying on a white table, leaning against one of the walls, or the visible smoke hanging in the air, revealing that there were people smoking in there, Robbe could almost confirm his idea, that it was closer to a formal ceremony than a party. 

"So," Robbe began to say with a little smile, as he followed Moyo and Aaron to the area where the drinks were, "Is this the party you were talking about?"

Moyo shook his head quickly, letting out a muffled laugh, "Nah, man. This is just the beginning."

Robbe just nodded, not really understanding what it meant. He watched Aaron pass him a drink with something inside, accepting immediately, not even bothering to ask what it was. He looked around him as he took a sip of that drink, seeing more people coming through the double glass doors. Most of them, Robbe had never seen before, and others, he remembered just passing by. There were even some students he recognized as being in his class. There was only one obvious absence there. Since he had taken a step inside the building, there had not been a single sign of Luka, Senne and Jens. Not even Sander. Not that Robbe was looking for him. He wasn't. In fact, if they could just not show up at all, he certainly wouldn't complain about it. Not that it was going to happen anyway, they'd practically planned that party, it was clear they were going to show up at any moment. Robbe just had to be alert for that. And if he was lucky enough, those boys might even be too busy with his own friends or having a good time, that might not even remember his presence there.

Robbe spent the next half hour with a cup safe in one of his hands while he listened to Aaron and Moyo rambling loudly about some online game they had found. He wasn't really paying attention to the conversation, just looking around, trying to look at least a little excited to be there, when in reality he just wanted it to be over and he could go back to the tranquility of the dorms. It wasn't like he didn't like to party. He did. And he wanted to enjoy it just like everyone else there, but he couldn't help but feel too out of place to even try to have a good time. 

The minutes were passing by and more and more students were coming, and even though the space was huge, it was already starting to feel a little too crowded. And the quiet noise of when Robbe had gotten there, had quickly been replaced by the loud noise of voices and laughter echoing all over the place. Even the volume of the music had been gradually increased to a point where he really wondered how it was even possible for someone not to intervene, at any second, to end the party. But, once again, it was like the other two boys had told him. The people who worked for that school knew what was going on, they just chose to close their eyes to it. Robbe couldn't help but question himself, what if he made a complaint? Would anything really happen? Would the principal do something about it? But all his questions got him to the same answer. No. It was so obvious that nothing would be done. Those four boys held so much power in there that he didn't even understand why the school needed a general board of directors or a security system, when they already seemed to control everything and everyone. It was almost comical.

Robbe was taken from his own thoughts when, very suddenly, all the little bright white lights were turned off, letting the space sink into darkness, being only slightly lit by the outside light that passed through the three huge windows in the background. Not even about five seconds later, the darkness gave way to a series of electrifying colour flashes pointing to every corner, resulting in a new euphoric and vibrant atmosphere. So now it was beginning to look more like the parties Robbe used to attend. He looked over his shoulder behind him, watching some students jump into the wide pool to the sound of screams and laughter, not even bothering to take off their fancy clothes first. Total chaos was beginning to build inside that space, and all Robbe could think about was, who would clean up that mess in the end? They couldn't just leave it like that. Right?

"Boys, I was looking for you" a loud, trembling voice spoke from Robbe's side, causing him to divert his attention from the people diving into the water to the boy who had just arrived, "In the mood for a little game?" He said, as he pointed his head at one of the cabins above them. 

From the way the boy could barely stand up, holding onto Aaron's shoulder as he spoke, Robbe could already see that he was drunker than sober. He watched Moyo and Aaron look at each other, maybe deciding together whether they should accept, but before one of them had a chance to talk, the boy spoke again, adding with a challenging little smile, "Playing for money tonight, what do you say, huh?"

Robbe immediately felt the eyes of his two roommates set on him, looking hesitant. What? Was that invitation for him as well? Because if that was the case, then the answer would be a big no. Playing for money? They shouldn't even be doing that in the first place. But even if Robbe agreed to it, which he didn't, he didn't have the exact same full wallet they had there. 

The stranger must have realized the silent conversation that was going on between the three of them, deciding to walk away, not without murmuring first that they knew where they could find him. 

"So," Aaron began to speak cautiously, still looking at the boy who had just left his side, but Robbe interrupted him quickly.

"It's all right if you guys wanna go."

Robbe wasn't dumb. The expressions on both boys' faces delivered them perfectly. It wasn't something new to them, and they definitely wanted to join the other guy. And it wasn't gonna be Robbe stopping them from doing that. He didn't want to feel like a nuisance to them, just walking around, following them, because he didn't really know anyone else at that party he could talk to or spend time with. He didn't want them to feel obliged to stand there next to him and stop doing their things just because of that. 

"It's okay, really," Robbe persisted again, seeing that the two guys were still struggling about whether they should really get out of there, "It'll be fine. I probably won't stick around much longer, anyway."

"You sure?" Moyo asked, still looking uncertain. 

Robbe just nodded, assuring them, once again, that everything was fine. Well, it wasn't all fine. But he wasn't in his way to show them that.

Aaron's hand went to Robbe's shoulder, squeezing him lightly as he said, "You're the real one, man."

Robbe held on to a small smile as he watched the two boys gradually move away from him towards the stairs leading to the cabins, finally disappearing after a few short minutes. As soon as he stopped seeing them, his smile quickly fell from his lips. What was he supposed to do now that he was there by himself? Just stand there while he watched the other students have fun and enjoy the party? 

Robbe focused his attention on the pool in front of him, trying to concentrate on the calm pale blue water swaying gently, pondering whether he should stay a few more minutes or just go out and head for the tranquility and comfort of the dorms. It wasn't like he was doing anything there. Before he could turn to start walking towards the exit of the building, he felt someone approaching him from behind, speaking slowly in his ear with a rough voice, making a wave of chills run through his whole body. 

"Having fun tonight?" 

Robbe didn't have to turn around to know exactly who that voice belonged to. Sander Driesen. So he had decided to show up after all. Just as the brunet was leaving. The universe really wasn't on his side. 

Sander continued to ask him, not bothered by Robbe's lack of response to his first question, "So, where are your friends, huh?"

From the way the words had left the blond boy's mouth, slow and smug, Robbe could already feel he was looking for a confrontation. Well, bad for him, the brunet wasn't really in much of a mood for it. Was that the real reason he was invited? Just so they could do a recreation of what happened two days ago in the refectory? Maybe try to humiliate him a little more. Because if it was that, it definitely wasn't gonna happen. Robbe was already on his way out of there, Sander could perfectly well find someone else to mess with that night. 

Robbe quickly turned around, finally being confronted with the image of the blond boy. And even if he did his best to try and keep eye contact, he couldn't help but deflect his focus, risking a long look at Sander. He was wearing a light blue shirt, his sleeves slightly pulled up, giving sight to a gold watch tightly wound around his left wrist. It was strange to see him without the usual dark clothes, or the black boots, which had been replaced by a pair of white Converse. If Robbe could say something about that unusual look, then it would be that Sander looked a lot less threatening than he normally did. Not that the clothes would really change anything. The same challenging, cold green eyes were still there, staring him back intensely, without deflecting for a single second. Robbe could feel how close the blond boy was to him. He could practically feel Sander's warm breath in his own skin. And even if he was more than ready to leave a few minutes ago, in that moment, he couldn't even force his feet out of the place he was still standing. Not when Sander's body was practically blocking any movement Robbe tried to make. 

The brunet took a step forward, struggling to get past the older boy, but Sander was quick to take one of his hands over Robbe's shoulder, pushing him slightly back again. Why couldn't he just let him out? There was no need to do that. 

Robbe sighed deeply, crossing his arms in front of his body, "Can you just let me out... _please_?"

The fact that he had to use the word 'please' was already the peak of the whole situation. But if that was going to make Sander give in and let him go, once and for all, then Robbe wouldn't be so ashamed that he just said it out loud. Like he was about to beg. But, of course, that wasn't enough for Sander. And the younger boy really wondered if anything was ever going to be enough for him. 

"Already?" Sander began to say, his voice in a clearly sarcastic tone, "But it's still so early."

Robbe felt him take a small step forward, bringing their bodies closer together, before Sander spoke again.

"Besides, you haven't even gotten in the pool yet. And that would be a total loss, I've heard the water is fantastic tonight."

Robbe blinked his eyes quickly, swallowing dry. Sander really wouldn't do that, right? That would be too much, even for him. But judging by the blond boy's confident look, he wasn't sure about that anymore. His eyes looked like poison. And Robbe really needed to get out of there before he had a chance to do whatever was going through his mind in that minute. And he needed to do it fast. 

"Still dry, IJzermans?" A hoarse voice suddenly sounded on Robbe's right side, causing him to spin his head quickly, being confronted by Senne, the same arrogant smile stamped on his face. Right next to him were Luka and Jens. In another situation, Robbe would probably risk a look in Jens' direction, perhaps silently asking for his help. But after what had happened on Wednesday, he wasn't sure the other guy would do it, anyway. His job there in that group seemed to be just to look and be quiet while he let things happen around him. Which was more than strange, considering that on the first day he had really seemed quite confident and brave, to the point where Robbe was hesitant to even sit in a chair next to him. And now what? He couldn't even look Robbe in the eyes, just staring at the floor with his hands pushed into the pockets of his jeans. 

Sander's voice took Robbe out of his trance, making him look at him again, "Can you believe I was just telling him that? Makes me kind of disappointed that he's not enjoying our lovely pool party."

Every word that left Sander's lips was so full of sarcasm and fake emotion, it had been enough to make Robbe more than upset. And Senne and Luka's little laughs weren't helping either. Why had Robbe even decided to show up? He must have known it would be like this by now. Why had he even given them the benefit of the doubt?

"Come on, Robbe. It's just a little dip," Sander opened the corners of his mouth in what already looked like his trademark. That defiant small smile. He was clearly loving every minute of it, but Robbe wasn't in his way to stand still in his presence. 

"You're an idiot," Robbe said firmly, trying to look a lot calmer than he really was, "Has anyone ever told you that?"

The brunet could feel his eyes burning as he stared at Sander, but the blond boy just let out a muffled laugh, his expression nothing, but stable. 

Robbe watched Sander move his mouth closer to his ear, just as he had a few minutes ago, his warm breath taking every drop of the younger boy's willpower so as not to tremble, whispering roughly, "Remember what I told you when you got here? That I really didn't wanna be the one to do the things for you?" He stopped talking, closing the few inches of distance that still separated him from Robbe, finally touching the brunet's skin with his own lips, adding, "Don't keep me waiting much longer."

Robbe swallowed dry with the sudden proximity, but this time he wouldn't stand there with no reaction. So, in one quick move, he took both his hands to Sander's chest, pushing him back, using all the strength he could muster. He took advantage of those brief seconds of distance to try to get out of there quickly, but he couldn't even take more than three steps forward, before he felt Senne's hand firmly on his shoulder, keeping him in place. 

"Senne, just let him go," Jens spoke for the first time since he had arrived there, his voice in a clearly threatening tone. And even if it hadn't been directed at Robbe, he couldn't contain the chill that went through his body as soon as those words left the other boy's lips. 

Robbe watched Senne open his mouth to shoot something back, but Sander interrupted him quickly, approaching the place where his friend had held him, in large strides, directing his words to Jens, but never taking his eyes off the younger boy, "I think Robbe can perfectly speak for himself, isn't that right, Jens?"

Well, finally Sander had said something right. Robbe could perfectly speak for himself. But if that was correct, then why were all his attempts to get out of there being ignored by them?

Robbe cleared his throat, shaking Senne's hand from his shoulder quickly, taking a step in Sander's direction, staring him in the face with daring eyes, "I didn't see you there either. Too scared to ruin your pretty, fancy shirt, huh?"

Sander positioned himself again in front of Robbe, practically hovering over him. He wasn't much taller than the brunet, but he certainly knew how to use his stature to make himself look bigger. He was the kind of guy who used his physique like a weapon, and Robbe knew it was only meant to intimidate him. 

"Why? Wanna see me wet already?"

And there it was again, the same stupid laughs from his friends, echoing all over the place, like Sander just said the funniest thing in the world. Robbe really pondered whether they'd be paid to do that. Or maybe they were even paid to be his friends. That was a possibility. There was no one who could take that hell for free, right? But, once again, those two boys over there looked like they came out of exactly the same bag as the blond boy. So maybe it was a genuine friendship. Robbe just didn't understand, with all that arrogance and giant egos, how could those people even deal with each other and not collide every second?

Robbe just rolled his eyes, not even bothering to answer Sander at all. It wasn't worth it. Maybe if he just stood there quietly, the older boy would finally get tired and leave him once and for all. He knew there was a big chance that wouldn't happen. Sander was too persistent.

As the brunet had predicted, Sander kept talking, ignoring his lack of response, "So, what's it going to be like? You need a little help getting in there?"

The threat in Sander's tone of voice made Robbe desperate to punch him. So he just shook his hands, letting his arms fall to his sides, trying to stay calm in the face of the whole situation. He felt the blond boy take another step forward, invading his space again, making him have to take a step back to keep a safe distance between them. 

"Sander, that's enough, okay?"

Jens' voice echoed once again. The threat was much more visible in his tone. But this time he didn't just pour words out of his lips, taking long, heavy steps towards the two boys, blocking Sander's body with one of his hands, while reaching one of Robbe's wrists with the other, bringing him close to him. 

"Jens to the rescue," Robbe heard Sander say with a heavy snort, before being quickly dragged by Jens into a corner further down the place, away from the other three boys. Robbe didn't know exactly what to do at that moment. Whether he should thank Jens or shake his hand that was gently tight around his wrist. He didn't understand him. He really didn't. The sudden changes in his behavior were confusing to Robbe, to say the least. And he didn't know if he could even trust him. Maybe all that was part of some sick plan between the four boys. Maybe Jens wasn't much better than Sander himself. Maybe he was tired of dealing with them. There were a lot of " _maybe_ " in Robbe's head. And none of them seemed like the right answer. 

Robbe cleared his throat to start talking, but Jens went faster, finally letting go of the grip he had on him, saying without hesitation, "I don't agree with this, okay? You need to know that."

Robbe had to resist his urge to let a muffled laugh out of his mouth. Really? That? Of all the things he could say? _I don't agree with this_. Then why did it take him so long to finally do something about it? 

"You don't?" Robbe spoke, making sure the irony was clear in his tone of voice, "It didn't sound like that the other day."

Deep down, he knew Jens had no moral obligation to intervene. He didn't have to defend him, it wasn't like they were close friends or anything. But to say he didn't agree with it and let it happen anyway, it seemed kind of dubious. 

"I'm sorry about that," Jens fought back. His words sounding, for what seemed like the first time, uncertain, "They're just... it's complicated."

It wasn't complicated. At least, not for Robbe. They were idiots. It was that easy. The people there had simply chosen to close their eyes to it. That, or they were too intimidated to even go against one of them. 

Robbe just shrugged his shoulders and didn't even bother to contest what Jens had just said. It wasn't worth it. He'd probably come up with a few more excuses to try and justify the behavior of his little friends. 

"You want to leave?" Jens asked after a while, "I can walk you to the dorms... if you want, of course."

Robbe pondered for a few seconds if that was really what he wanted. If someone had given him that option about ten minutes ago, he would have said yes without having to think twice, just rushing out of there as fast as he could. But now, finally looking over Jens' shoulder and immediately finding Sander's killer eyes, exactly where he had left him, he was no longer sure.

The blond boy felt the younger boy's attention on him, nodding to him confidently in warning, and that was all Robbe needed to take his eyes off Sander's and tilt his head up towards Jens' gaze. 

"Not really," he answered back with conviction. 

After all, he had been invited. Not for the best of reasons, he'd already noticed. But he had been. And if Sander didn't want him there, then he'd have to drag him out of the place, because Robbe wasn't willing to leave on his own two feet.

Robbe felt Jens moving closer to him, asking in a soft voice, "So, are we fine?"

He still had his doubts about the boy in front of him, but he just decided to push it aside. There was a touch of genuineness in Jens' eyes that Robbe couldn't see in the other three boys, not even if he tried. So maybe giving him a second chance wasn't stupid at all. 

Robbe nodded slowly, assuring him that everything was okay, gaining a small smile from Jens' pink lips that made him smile back right away. 

"And you're still up for our study session?" Jens asked. 

Robbe stared at him playfully, tilting his head slightly to the side, "Obvious. That's the only reason I'm still talking to you in the first place."

Jens quickly took his hand to his chest, trying his best to fake a hurt expression, "So you just want me for my smart brain?"

"That's right. You should already know that." Robbe said with a little giggle. 

The other guy didn't say anything back, just opening a soft smile on his lips, but Robbe could feel his eyes on him, just staring. There was this thing about Jens. With him, it seemed that every second that passed became a different atmosphere. And in that second, Robbe didn't know exactly what to do or what to say. They had laughed and played with each other, but now they were just awkwardly standing there in total silence. 

Robbe was searching his mind for words he could gush out of his mouth, even if they didn't make much sense, just something random they could talk to each other, when he felt Jens slowly approaching him, one of his hands drifting calmly until he found his, touching his fingers lightly.

"You want something to drink?" Jens asked softly. His voice was stable, too stable, considering he was touching, literally touching, Robbe's hand, gently running his fingers through his warm skin. Why was he touching his hand?

Robbe didn't even have time to answer, before the numerous flashing lights of all colors suddenly disappeared, leaving the space with minimal illumination, as well as the music, which was quickly turned off. He still looked around to try and figure out what was going on, but some students rushing out of the pool, as well as others walking in quick steps to the table where the bottles were, grabbing them in their arms as much as they could, were making it hard to see anything. And it wasn't until someone in the crowd yelled at everyone to get out of there, that Robbe finally looked into one of the huge windows in the background, seeing a little white light passing through the glass, coming from someone outside, holding a flashlight. It was definitely one of the security guards. That was one of the reasons Robbe didn't want to come in the first place. It was wrong and he couldn't really afford to get caught at one of those parties. Especially when it involved breaking into a building that belonged to the school. He had to get out of there as quickly as possible. He started turning around, hoping Jens was still standing in the same place, he would definitely know what to do, but as soon as he made the first move, he felt a strong arm go around his waist, pulling him back firmly, his back stuck against a rigid chest. The force of the impact made Robbe's body tremble, and he was quick to start struggling, trying to move from the grip. 

"Relax, okay?" A rough voice whispered in his ear. 

Fuck, Robbe wasn't really lucky. Of course it had to be Sander. Why did he always seem to be everywhere? 

"Just follow me," the blond boy added a few seconds later, not even giving Robbe a chance to contest anything, before taking his hand, dragging him towards a large metal cabinet positioned in one corner, carefully pushing him against the part that was facing the wall, out of everyone's sight, then blocking his body with his own. 

That position has left them way too close. And for some unknown reason, the older boy took one of his hands to Robbe's mouth, covering it without using much force, while the other remained around his wrist. The younger boy felt practically like a child in that moment. It wasn't as if he didn't know he had to be quiet, he wasn't dumb. And he definitely didn't need Sander's help for that, so he just rigidly shook his hand that was covering his mouth.

"Can you take your hands off me?" Robbe grumbled coldly, hoping that at least this time the older boy would do what he was asking. 

Sander rolled his eyes instantly, bouncing back, "What a nice way to thank me for getting you out of there."

 _Thank him for getting him out of there?_ Robbe owed him nothing. 

"I didn't ask you," he said harshly. 

Sander just laughed, tilting his head slightly to the side, peeking at what was happening. The position Robbe was in against the cold closet didn't allow him to see the rest of the place, but the sudden silence that had set in from the air could only mean that the rest of the students had already made it out of there. No more footsteps were heard, just the heavy breathing of the two boys. So maybe it was safe for them to get out of there. Robbe hoped so, he really needed to create a safe distance between him and Sander as soon as possible. 

Sander cleared his throat, calmly saying, "I think we can leave now."

And the brunet really didn't need any further confirmation, quickly taking his hands to the older boy's chest, pushing him back so he could get out of his grip, starting to walk in heavy steps outside the building. He still heard Sander muttering his name behind him more than once, but he didn't stop until he was hit by the sudden cold of the night, cutting through his skin. He definitely needed that, to breathe in the icy air after hours locked in that stuffy environment. He felt good. 

Robbe stopped for a second to look around him. There was no one out there. The only sound he could hear was the echo of the calm water falling, even if the fountain was on the opposite side of where he was. He reached into the front pocket of his jeans, removing his phone, unlocking the little screen. 00h47. It wasn't as late as he expected it to be. The party had really seemed like long, hard hours. And he was too tired, his feet already feeling heavy from the time he had spent standing.

Robbe no longer had Moyo and Aaron to guide the way to the dorms, and he hoped he wouldn't be mistaken on the way back, considering how big that whole school was, full of different buildings. He started to walk forward at last, feeling sudden and fast steps coming closer and closer to him. Really? Couldn't the other boy just leave him once and for all? He just wanted to go to the comfort of his room, that's all. 

"Can you stop following me?" The brunet threw into the air, making sure he spoke loud enough for Sander to be able to hear him perfectly well. He didn't even stop to look behind him, continuing his path. 

A few brief seconds later, he felt the blond boy finally reach him, positioning himself on his left side. He risked a glance in his direction, seeing what appeared to be a small smile on Sander's lips. 

"Bold of you to assume I'm following you," Sander fought back, speaking in a soft tone of voice, something that was unusual about him, then adding, "We're going to the same place, remember?"

Robbe resisted his urge to roll his eyes. Fuck, he was so annoying. Okay, fine, Sander had a point. He couldn't really stop him from going in the same direction as him, but he was more than eager to do that. 

So instead, he snitched, "Well, you can just walk behind me, you don't need to be this close."

"Why?" 

Robbe could almost hear the provocation in Sander's voice. He wasn't staring at him, but he was sure if he looked his way, the blond boy would have a pretentious smile on his face. The same fucking smile as alway.

"It affects you?"

Robbe just managed to laugh. _It affects you?_ Well, yes, it did. A lot. But in a bad way. The worst kind of way. And it wasn't as if Sander didn't already know that. Well, to his own relief, he seemed to affect the blond boy in exactly the same way. If not, why else couldn't he just ignore Robbe and get on with his life? The younger boy had to affect him somehow.

Robbe just whispered a small " _whatever_ ," leaving it at that. And, luckily, the older boy didn't seem to have anything else to say either. The rest of the way was done in complete silence, except for the low humming that left Sander's lips that Robbe had just decided to ignore.

As soon as they approached the dormitory building, the older boy hurried to open the main door, indicating with his head that Robbe could enter first. _What a gentleman_. It didn't even look like he was basically chasing him for no apparent reason, trying to intimidate him at every chance he had. _A real man_. 

Robbe entered the building, heading towards the corridor that gave access to the male dormitories. He didn't want to admit it not even to himself, but he was moving with slow, dragging steps just so Sander could reach him. He wanted to know which room was assigned to the other boy. If they were close to each other, if they were far apart. Why was that? As if Robbe could even answer that question. He tried to tell himself it was simple and pure curiosity, but he wasn't so sure. 

But for some reason, he stopped listening to Sander's footsteps behind him, finally giving in and turning around, seeing him standing in the middle of the hall. 

"You're not coming?" Robbe risked asking, really hoping he hadn't sounded inviting. That would have been really embarrassing.

Sander shook his head slowly, and he must have noticed the confusing expression on Robbe's face because he rushed to explain, "My room is on the top floor," he stopped talking, for some reason seeming to be evaluating the brunet's reaction, and then completed, "Individual rooms."

Robbe just nodded. Of course they were. He was even surprised that he hadn't thought of it before. So that's what the top floor was about. He wondered if the other three boys each had their own room, and what more students were entitled to it. 

"Wait. Nothing?" The blond boy asked with an admired tone of voice. Robbe stared at him with a shuffled look, not really understanding what he meant. 

Sander cleared his throat, redefining what he'd just said, "I mean, I was expecting some sarcastic comment from you about how privileged I am in here, that I even have my own room. I have to say I'm disappointed."

"That's actually good," Robbe fought back. It was taking all his effort to try to keep his face serious, "Imagine the poor boys that would have to share a room with you."

Sander let out a genuine laugh from his lips, shaking his head amusingly. It was the first time Robbe was hearing anything real from him. It was calm and, in a way, captivating. And he had enjoyed the sound of it. It was just that he couldn't forget who that smile belonged to. 

The two boys just stared at each other for a few seconds without saying anything. Robbe watched Sander take one of his hands to his hair, running his fingers through the strands, gently pulling them away from his forehead. The older boy finally moved from where he was standing, beginning to walk towards the huge staircase in the center. 

As soon as Sander stepped on the first step, he turned his head slightly back, staring at Robbe that was still standing in the same spot, saying quietly, almost in a whisper, "Good night, IJzermans."

And just like that, he disappeared at the end of the stairs. 

Robbe rushed to his dorm, just wondering what the hell had just happened there.

As soon as he entered the room, he was immediately confronted with the image of Moyo and Aaron, both sitting on the same bed, laughing at something between them. The whole night had been so busy for him that he hadn't even remembered the other two boys. 

"Finally," Moyo spoke quickly, opening his arms in the air, "Did you get out of there well?"

Robbe nodded, going to sit on the end of his bed. He was too exhausted.

Aaron filled him with more questions, the words coming out of his mouth, "What took you so long, man?"

Robbe pondered whether he should tell them what had happened, but in that moment, it didn't seem worth it. So he just shrugged his shoulders, saying, "I felt like taking a little walk before I came here."

The two boys nodded, finally leaving the questions aside.

"That was crazy," Moyo said, throwing himself back on the bed, "I can't believe the security guard showed up."

That was the weird thing for Robbe. At least, considering what they had told him earlier about those parties. 

"Didn't you say it was all safe?" 

Aaron decided to step in for Moyo, saying, "It is. This has never happened before. Someone had to snitch on it," he snorted amusingly, adding, "I really didn't want to be that person right now. Sander will eventually find out who did that."

"There are some fucking stupid people," Moyo fought back, not looking a bit bothered by it. 

And Robbe? Well, he just stepped away from the whole conversation. After a quick shower, he was finally ready to lie in the warmth of his bed. Moyo and Aaron were scattered all over their beds as soon as he returned to his room, seeming to be already in a heavy sleep. They looked like they'd had enough to drink, so he wasn't too surprised.

Robbe put his head down on his pillow, staring up at the ceiling above him. Almost a week. That's how long it had been since he'd been there. And yet, it felt like so much more, considering everything that had already gone down. 

And he was really hoping that that week there wasn't just a little taste of what was yet to come. Eastwood Liberty really was something else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone left a small suggestion in a comment in the other chapter and I loved the idea. So, feel free to share your thoughts with me (if you want to!) about some scene in particular that you would like to see in the next chapters (I would love to try framing some other idea, besides those I already have)!!


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you coming, Robbe?"

Moyo's voice echoed from somewhere in the room, taking Robbe out of his thoughts. He looked in the wide mirror in front of him, quickly running his fingers through his messy hair, trying to control it as best he could. It hadn't been worth much, but it would have to work. Robbe didn't have to look at the tightened watch around his wrist to know that he was already a little bit later than usual. If he still wanted to make it in time for breakfast in the cafeteria, he needed to hurry.

Buttoning the last button missing from the blazer, Robbe passed his hands through his uniform, smoothing it one last time. He had already lost count of the number of times he'd done that in the last half hour, only shaking his palms carefully over his body, making sure everything was perfectly intact. He felt strange in that uniform. Those clothes didn't look a bit like him. They were tight on his body, almost like a second skin, a great contrast when compared to the baggy, comfortable clothes he would normally wear. But, at the same time, they made him feel like all the other students at that school. As if, for the first time since he took a step in, he really belonged there. It was strange for him to think that a mere pair of formal beige pants, a navy blue blazer and a perfectly ironed white shirt were what gave him the feeling of being a part of it. As if what he was wearing, or possessed, was the doorway to that place for him. Even more, it defined who he was in that place. All this because of a few pieces of cloth. Worst of all, Robbe cared about it. He did. It didn't really matter how many times he told himself that none of it was worth it, that the rest of people could think what they wanted. In the end, he still wanted to belong.

With one last look in the mirror in front of him, Robbe breathed heavily, tucking his uniform blazer once more, then grabbing the little black bag resting on the ground near his feet, walking out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

  
°°°

  
"And then she acted like it was my fault. I tell you, man, I give up trying to understand women."

Robbe grabbed his tray, following behind his roommates towards an empty table at the back of the room, oblivious to all the talk between the two boys in front of him. Aaron had been all the way from the dorms to the canteen rambling on about him and Amber and how much the girl was pushing him lately to take their relationship more seriously. To be honest, Robbe wasn't really paying any attention to what the other guy was saying, too immersed in his own thoughts, just letting out little laughs every time he heard Moyo do the same. It wasn't that he didn't care or wasn't interested in what Aaron said. But even if he wanted to show himself the least bit interested, his mind kept taking him somewhere else. Well, not exactly to a place, but to someone. And someone Robbe really didn't want to think about. No matter what. If that were true, then why couldn't he get the image of the platinum-haired blond boy out of his head? Or his green eyes, which even cold as ice, had managed to bring him warmth. Or his serene laughter and the way Robbe had been captivated by that sound. 

He shook his head quickly, driving away all these thoughts. This was just his mind playing games with him. It had to be. Sander was still Sander and there was nothing good about him. He'd already proven that multiple times. And he acting like a decent person once wasn't gonna suddenly change everything. Besides, that's what the older boy did, right? Him acting nice had probably just been one of his many little twisted games, his only form of entertainment. After all, he had invited Robbe to join them at that party, only to then corner him in a failed attempt to humiliate him again. That's exactly what he did. He was no good at all. And Robbe had to remember that. If not for this time, then coming back the first time his eyes landed on the blond boy. How confidently he'd fought back that he wasn't afraid of him. As Sander had pronounced with a taste of poison on his lips _"You should, Robbe IJzermans. You really should."_ Maybe Sander was right. Maybe Robbe really should. Or maybe that was all a facade, nothing but a made-up character. Either way, Robbe wasn't gonna be part of his show. And he wasn't in his way to trust the other boy a little. To his relief, he hadn't seen Sander or any of the other boys all weekend. So at least that gave him time to clear his head before a possible confrontation. Because Robbe knew it would happen. No matter how hard he tried to hide, it seemed like Sander always found him. On the other hand, and for his own happiness, he had had the company of Moyo and Aaron during those two days, which had helped to keep his mind occupied with other things. They had spent the whole weekend locked inside the shared room playing video games, just going out to the cafeteria at mealtimes. Robbe had noticed that not many students stayed there for those two days, choosing to go home. Which wasn't bad at all, of course. That meant not having to wait so long in lines and a much quieter environment. And Robbe liked that. He liked the quiet. On the other hand, he really didn't want to imagine what it would be like when Moyo and Aaron decided to go for the weekend. He wasn't used to that place at all yet. And the thought of staying there for two whole days without the boys on his side made him a little anxious. 

"What would you do, Robbe?" Aaron's voice crashed through the air, shrillly, causing Robbe to deflect his focus from his tray on the table to the boy sitting in front of him.

"What?" Robbe asked, arcing his eyebrows a little in a confusing expression. What was he even talking about? Was Aaron even talking to him?

Robbe watched Aaron shake his head amusingly, then tilting it slightly to the side, "Amber, dude. What am I supposed to do?"

Were they still talking about that? Robbe just shrugged his shoulders, muttering a low 'I don't know', hoping that would be enough for the other two guys to stop staring at him waiting for his answer. He didn't even know what they were rambling about. But if Aaron was expecting some kind of relationship advice, Robbe definitely wasn't the right person for it. Especially when it came to girls. 

"What's going on with you today, uh?" Moyo asked from Robbe's side after a brief seconds of silence, "It seems like you're not here at all."

Robbe shrugged his shoulders again, not knowing what to answer back. Or rather, what excuse he'd make up. It wasn't like he was in his way to tell them _'Hey, guess what? Last Friday, after the party, I kind of had a moment with Sander. Yeah, that Sander, weird, right? And now I can't stop thinking about it. Actually, that's all I can think about these fucking two days'_. All this sounded pathetic enough in his head, Robbe couldn't even think about letting any of these words leave his mouth. He was already too embarrassed that these thoughts even went through his mind. He needed to let it go quickly, for his own good.

"Nothing, just thinking about the exams."

In his defense, that sentence had its truth. He was stressed with the amount of material that he basically didn't quite understand. And the pressure from the teachers on him, for some reason, hoping that he would slip up. And not to mention his mother's situation. Sander Driesen was just another one of his problems. And, honestly, Robbe didn't even understand why he was allowing the older boy to be on that list at all. He should be the least of his worries. And Robbe was really tired of letting him even occupy that space inside his head when he had so many other more important things to think about. Sander didn't deserve a single second of his time. And Robbe was too tired of trying to decipher him, failing every time. Not that he needed to. What he needed was to push him out of his mind once and for all.

"Boring," Aaron joked, dropping himself behind in his chair.

Moyo let out a low laugh, shaking his head in disbelief, "Of course you're not worried about the exams, you always copy in all, isn't that right?" The boy turned his head slightly to the side, looking for Robbe's eyes, taking one of his hands quickly over his right shoulder, squeezing it gently, adding, "And don't worry. You'll do just fine. We see how focused you are on school. It'll be fine, you'll see." 

Robbe waved a little smile at Moyo's words of encouragement, feeling his body relaxing a bit. Okay, he just needed to focus. That and get a certain pair of green eyes out of his head. 

He watched the two boys resume the conversation they were having earlier, leaving the subject aside. Robbe tilted his head up, finally looking around him. Most of the students had already left the cafeteria, leaving a vast number of empty tables behind. He had been so focused on his thoughts that he hadn't even remembered to check what time it was. And considering the sudden silence that had settled in that room, it shouldn't be long before classes started. Only when Robbe was focusing his attention back on the two boys sitting next to him, probably to tell them to hurry up, his eyes capture a pair of calm eyes on the other side of the room. Eyes that were already staring in his direction. Jens was sitting at one of the tables, all alone, his body relaxed back in his chair and his arms crossed in front of his chest. Not in a rigid posture, but in a posture of just trying to pass the time. The way he was looking at him, Robbe knew the other boy's attention should have been on him for a while. For some reason, Jens seemed to be waiting for something. What? Like Robbe could tell. After a few seconds of just looking at each other through the room, he watched Jens's lips arc in a shy smile. He didn't know why, but he knew he liked him. Despite that first encounter in the classroom on his first day, despite the loudest boy's posture that just screamed intimidating, Robbe liked him. He had been good to him. And despite the company he kept, Robbe could say for sure that Jens was being genuine with him. He was sure of that. There was just something in his gaze that gave him peace. So Robbe slowly opened his lips, offering him back his softest smile. Jens' mouth opened quickly, and he knew the tallest boy was about to whisper something back to him, but Aaron's voice suddenly interrupted, cutting off any interaction that might happen between the two. 

"What's happening with you two?" 

Robbe could feel that Aaron's voice had adopted a more serious tone, a tone the boy usually didn't use. And judging by the looks that both he and Moyo had given him as soon as their eyes had landed on him and Jens sitting side by side in the back of the classroom, Robbe didn't have to think long to come to the conclusion that neither of them seemed to go much with his face. Why was that? That's what he wanted to find out. Maybe because of the little group Jens usually hangs out with. But that didn't make much sense in Robbe's head. Both Moyo and Aaron seemed to have no problem with Sander and his little gang running around trying to control everything. So it had to be something else. Maybe Jens had done something to them in the past. That was the most plausible option, even if Robbe didn't want to believe the other boy was that kind of person at all. He had already proven more than once that he was nothing like the others. Then why was that? There had to be a reason behind it. Robbe had paid attention to Jens. And something in that situation just didn't seem right. Why didn't he seem to get along with any other student in their class? Robbe had only been at that school for a week, but even he could tell. Besides himself and, of course, the other three older boys, Jens didn't really seem to talk to anybody else there. Every time Robbe had seen him in the hallways or any other part of that place, either he walked with Sander on his side and a few other times with Senne and Luka, or he was on his own. And he wanted to know why. No, he needed to know why. Because Jens was still a mystery to him. And unlike the blond boy, this was a mystery he wanted to solve. If he wanted to trust him 100%, he needed to have something more of him. The smallest thing. And not just what Jens chose to show him. 

Robbe cleared his throat, not caring that he hadn't answered Aaron's question by throwing a new question in the air, "What's your deal with him?"

He watched the two boys look at each other with a confused expression, probably wondering why the sudden change in the conversation. Robbe knew that the tone he had used had been a bit arduous, but he was tired of having so many questions running around in his mind and neither of them seemed to have an answer. Or at least, one that he knew. 

After a few brief seconds of silence, Robbe heard a little laugh escape Moyo's mouth, spinning his body to put his gaze on the boy, watching him shake his head amusingly. What was so funny about his question?

"Our deal?" 

"Yes, Moyo, your deal," Robbe fought back a bit impatiently, "It's kind of obvious you guys don't like him."

He watched Moyo relax back in his chair, crossing his arms on his chest. The same smile from a few seconds ago was still on his face, if not bigger. Aaron? He just looked uncomfortably between the two boys in front of him, for the first time not looking ready to say anything at all. 

Moyo raised his shoulder in a shrug, saying, "Maybe he's the one who doesn't like us. Besides, why do you even care?" Robbe noticed the change in the boy's tone of voice from a joking to a visibly sarcastic one when he added, "Mr. Loverboy already has you in the palm of his hand?"

Robbe rolled his eyes. Sometimes those two could be so... _so._ He knew he was probably being a little too hard on them, but he was starting to get a little upset about the way they never seemed to take anything seriously. It was just a question. And he didn't understand why it was so difficult to get that information out of them. It probably wouldn't even be a big deal. 

"No, he doesn't," Robbe quickly fought back, "But you seem upset about that possibility. So, what's that about?"

Just one more time. He was only gonna try one more time. 

"Maybe you should ask him instead," Moyo replied with the same intensity, "Have you thought about that? You two seem like lovely friends."

"Jens used to be with us."

Aaron's voice suddenly spoke, making Robbe's attention drift to him, his eyes narrowing in confusion. 

"What?"

"In the dorm," the curly-haired boy spoke again, repeating, "He used to be with us. But then he switched rooms... and you came to his place."

So they all used to be roommates? Would anything have happened? First, did they even get along?

"Wait, so you guys were friends or?"

"Friends?" Aaron laughed muffled on Robbe's side, "We were more like brothers. Always hanging out. I knew them both long before I came to this school."

Robbe didn't know if it was possible he was even more confused than before, but his expression would certainly show that. Should he ask, or was this their business? Well, he had a hard time controlling his mouth from time to time. 

"So, what happened? Why aren't you friends anymore?"

He was waiting for an answer from Aaron, but Moyo was quicker to talk, saying, "We don't know. He started hanging out with Sander and the others and the next thing we knew, he was walking away from us... he left the room without even telling us."

Robbe heard a muffled laugh leaving Aaron's mouth, "But it's fine, you know? I mean, he still invites us to their parties, so. That's all we need. If he doesn't want to hang out with us, that's up to him."

The boy was saying that, but for some reason, Robbe didn't believe any of the words. But he wasn't gonna get involved anymore. He already knew what he needed to know. They were friends, and now they weren't. Why that? It was up to them, and he wasn't gonna try to get in the way. If any of them wanted to explain, then it would be on their own terms. Either way, Robbe would still get along with all of them. 

"Moving on," Moyo said, checking the watch on his wrist and then looking up, finding Robbe's look, "Are we going or what?"

The other two boys nodded, grabbing their respective trays. 

As Robbe headed towards the exit door, with Moyo and Aaron following behind him, he noticed out of the corner of his eye Jens standing there, looking at him. And he knew right away that he'd been standing there waiting for him. 

With a quick look back, he announced, "Hey, you guys can go to the classroom, I'll meet you there, all right?"

Both Moyo and Aaron nodded, continuing their way, leaving Robbe behind. As soon as Jens realized he was alone, he walked in wide strides to where he was standing. 

"Good morning," the tallest boy greeted him with a soft smile when he got close enough.

Robbe tilted his head slightly to the side, giving him the same open smile, "Hey, you."

"Nice first weekend?"

He gave him a small shrug of the shoulder, answering, "Nothing much. Moyo and Aaron stayed too, we spent all day playing games. What about yours?"

"I had this super boring family event. Just the same," Jens laughed under his breath. Just a couple of seconds later, his expression was again indecipherable, "You already seem to get along with them."

Robbe swallowed his urge to ask him the question that occupied his mind at that moment. Something about the way Jens' shoulders fell a bit down as soon as Robbe mentioned his roommates, almost made him do it. But he reminded himself that it was their business and theirs only. And he shouldn't get involved. So he just nodded. And Jens didn't seem to want to look too far into it either, because the subject was quickly changed. 

"By the way," the tallest brunet said, "about the party on Friday. I'm so sorry I left you there. I don't think either of us expected it to happen. And then there were so many people together, I lost you in the middle."

Robbe reassured the other boy, making sure he knew he didn't have to apologize to him. That had just happened. And nobody was counting on it. 

Besides, he hadn't exactly got lost in the crowd. Sander had dragged him from there. Long before he even had a chance to look for Jens. And for some reason, Robbe didn't want him to know that. So he just tried to leave it there, repeating that everything was fine and that he had arrived safely at his dorm. And that was enough to calm Jens down. 

"What about the study session you promised me?" Robbe said, staring funnily at him, "I didn't forget that," only to add, "Only if you don't mind, of course."

"I was the one who gave the idea, wasn't I?" Jens fought back, giving a little laugh, "Thursday, does it work for you?"

Robbe nodded. There really wasn't much happening at that school. So any free time would work for him. It was the only positive thing about being locked up in that place. Not going out meant more time to study. And he really needed to focus on that.

"Okay, deal," Jens said, reaching out his hand in front of Robbe.

And the lower brunet couldn't help the laughter that escaped his lips, "Do we really have to do this?"

"What?" Jens replied, faking a confusing expression, "We're being trained to be businessmen. We might as well start improving our handshake."

Robbe threw his hand up, shaking it together with the other boy's, both smiling openly at each other. 

When had Jens gone from this intimidating, sitting all alone at the last table in the classroom, spitting warnings at him on his first day, to that version right there in front of him?

  
°°°

The next day, Robbe found himself behind Moyo and Aaron going to the other side of the school campus, entering an unknown large building, all painted white with the well-known details in gold. He took a heavy breath as he walked through the wooden double door to what would be the locker room. Physical education. Robbe would be lying if he said he wasn't even just a little bit nervous for that class. It was one thing for him to spend all those hours sitting in the back of a classroom, oblivious to all the other students. But here? It was kind of hard to go unnoticed. 

Oh, and the fact that the physical education class was shared with another third grade class. And, to Robbe's own misfortune, that class was nothing less than the class of which Eastwood Liberty's own royal family was a part of. He almost had to control himself on the way there not to roll his eyes as soon as Moyo said something about being eager to shut Senne up at their next game. Of course, it had to be that class. When Amber and Britt had explained to him on the first day that due to the availability on both classes' schedules and the fact that the director felt it wasn't necessary to have two separate classes when they could just get together, he really hadn't connected things. But clearly, the universe was not on his side. At least not when it came to leaving him as far away from those boys as possible. No, instead, the universe simply decided that not so friendly encounters in the corridors, or provocations in the canteen, or attempts at humiliation in front of everyone, were no longer enough. No, all that was not enough. Because now, Robbe would have to be stuck in the same space as them for the next 2 hours. And the difference this time is he had no way out. Not without it affecting his performance.

Robbe decided to keep those thoughts out of his mind. It wasn't worth thinking about that now. He needed to focus and think that he had to do his best. In his old school, no student was really interested in physical education, since it didn't count toward his grade point average, so it was kind of pointless to try too hard. But in this school, it was a totally different thing. It was important in this place. Maybe way too important, if Robbe was allowed to say. And from what his roommates had said, the assigned teacher was pretty demanding, and sometimes he could push them a little too hard. It was kind of funny, if he thought about it. Who knew that the so-called leaders of the future were trained not only mentally, but physically. But Robbe wasn't going to comment a single thing about it. Unlike the others, he had to secure his place there and if that meant standing still and doing what was asked of him, then that was exactly what he was going to do. He couldn't risk his stay in that school. Besides, the two boys, mostly Aaron, had a tendency to exaggerate things a bit. It probably wouldn't even be as much as they said. 

As soon as the three boys moved on to the locker room, Robbe noticed that no other students were inside anymore. He hated being late for class, and if he didn't have the other two boys with him, he'd probably already be freaking out, worrying about what the teacher would think of him. In his defense, it had all been Aaron's fault. The boy with the curly hair had forgotten his bag with his equipment in the dorm and Robbe and Moyo hadn't even thought twice before accompanying him there to pick it up. All the way, Robbe had asked them to hurry up, constantly checking the watch on his wrist, watching the minutes go by, closer and closer to class time. The school campus might even be nice for the view. Filled with large spaces with tall trees and beautiful fountains, more and more different buildings, bridges that made the crossing between them. But it certainly wasn't as good when they had to get from one end of the school to the other in just over 5 minutes. In that case, the whole big place was disadvantageous, and made it really difficult to walk between all the enclosures in the shortest time. But even if they were already a bit late, Robbe couldn't stop to look around him, analyzing every detail. That school really didn't have a single piece that didn't scream money and lust. That locker room was insane. First of all, the space was huge. Pretty big. He really didn't understand why. That was just a place to change into his physical education clothes and take a shower at the end of each class. There really wasn't a reason the locker room was that big. But Robbe was slowly getting used to it. There wasn't a single division in that school that he couldn't describe without using the term 'big'. Sometimes it even terrified him to look at all those wide spaces, completely open, with high ceilings. So high that he felt that if he spoke, the words would probably leave his lips just like an echo. Looking around him, he noticed the attractive light-wood cabinets distributed over two of the walls of the main room in the changing room. The cabinets were tall, positioned so as to leave a small space between each. In front of each line of closets, there was a sliding bench, also made of wood, with a small support fixed, allowing students to lean back when they sat down. Right at the back of the room, in one of the four corners, the wall had been replaced by two large modern wooden pillars, with different thicknesses, at different intervals, at each end, creating a semi-open access to the shower area. Even at the opposite end, Robbe got a small glimpse of the mentioned area. Given the luxury attributed to what he thought was just a simple locker room, he really thought he would be confronted with the image of several showers in a row, all separated by a small wall or perhaps a wooden strip. But no. The area didn't have a single separation. The showers were all positioned along the back wall, leaving only a few centimeters between them to be occupied by each student. The space, unlike the shades of white and wood pieces in the main area, was all detailed in beige and light gray. The showers were high, attached to the wall. And even if Robbe only had vision for a small part of that area, he could say for sure that one was much bigger than what he was just having access to. That school never failed to surprise him a bit more. He couldn't even begin to explain all that. He really wondered where all that money came from so they could invest in something like that. That was insane. 

"Are you just gonna stand there?" 

Aaron's voice brought Robbe back to reality, making him look away from every detail around him to the two boys already standing in front of their respective closets, each changing clothes. Fuck, he really needed to focus. And hurry up. He couldn't just lose track of time like that. 

Robbe approached the tall wooden cabinets, looking for the one with the number 9 written in big black letters on the door. As soon as he located his closet, he hurried to put down the extra backpack with the equipment, quickly switching to the PE uniform. Before leaving behind Moyo and Aaron towards the main pavilion, he took a small look at the large, perfectly clean mirror fixed on the other wall opposite the two cabinets, getting a quick glimpse of his image. The physical education uniform consisted of a pair of navy blue baggy pants, the same tone that constituted the blazer of the school uniform, on top of a basic white t-shirt, a tracksuit jacket with two horizontal stripes of different colors and different sizes, the lower part and also the one covering the largest portion of the jacket in navy blue and the upper part a white stripe. The school symbol was well positioned on the left side of the top band of the jacket, in its well-known shade of gold. Some white sneakers of some brand unknown to Robbe helped to complete the rest of the uniform. It wasn't bad. Unlike his school uniform, which was completely tight, those clothes were wide on his body, just like the ones he would normally wear. 

Before passing through the door that gave access to the main hall, Robbe made sure to zip his jacket suit up to the middle of his neck, working almost like a shelter. He knew he needed to stop being paranoid, for his own good, but he just couldn't shake the thought that he didn't want to step on one foot in that class. 

As soon as the three boys entered, Robbe noticed that the other students were already there, sitting silently on the floor, while they seemed to be hearing some kind of indication from an older man standing in front of them. Not that he still had any doubts, but the whistle hanging around the man's neck was proof that he was definitely the teacher. 

Robbe stepped behind Moyo and Aaron, that seemed nothing less than relaxed, towards the group. Robbe might have been exactly like them, if it wasn't for the nervousness he already felt before he even entered the class. And the rigid look on the professor's face when he tilted his head up to lock eyes with him? That definitely didn't help. 

"Nice to see you gentlemen decided to join the class," the man's voice echoed harshly through the space filled with sarcasm. 

Well, this is just what Robbe needed right now. He couldn't see himself now, but he knew his cheeks would be pink, for sure. He could feel the heat spreading across his face. He hated to upset any of his teachers. Especially when it was related to delays. 

Robbe went to sit with the others, noticing Aaron and Moyo laughing softly at each other, while he muttered a little apology as he passed in front of the teacher. He was ready to put his head down to face the ground when he realized that the attention of the rest of the students was on him, but it seemed that the older man's speech was not yet finished. And he could really dig a hole there in that ground after the hard words that came out of his mouth when he completed it:

"I hope this doesn't become a habit, Mr. Ijzermans. If there's one thing this school values, it's the students' own responsibility. Except for a few exceptions, I will not allow any more delays. Do you understand?"

The only thing Robbe could do was nod his head at the words said, finally lowering it. He wanted to shout how unfair it was that the man hadn't even touched the names of the other two boys, or how it seemed like the teachers there were not very pleased with his presence in that school. But then he remembered his own words from before. Just be quiet and do exactly what was asked. It was just a class. In a few months, he wouldn't even remember this. Okay, just take a deep breath. 

_He could do that. He could do that. He could do that._

The teacher kept talking normally for a few more minutes, giving a series of directions on something. Robbe couldn't really focus on what he was even saying. His mind was too full of voices, telling him to keep taking a deep breath. But that wasn't the only voice invading his head. No. Behind him, not being able to tell exactly how far, he could clearly hear the voice belonging to the blond boy. He spoke softly, occasionally laughing at something Robbe couldn't understand. And he really wondered if he could be laughing at him and the whole situation. Maybe his mind was just looking for one more reason not to like him. Or maybe he was just using that as an excuse to try to justify the fact that, of all the voices hovering through that space, Sander's was the only one captivating his mind. But he desperately needed to pull himself together. As he'd said before, his mind needed to get away from these kinds of thoughts. This was starting to border a dangerous line and he needed to stop as soon as possible. 

The sound of a whistle brought Robbe's focus back to class, noticing that the students had already begun to get up little by little, rushing to get up too, not really understanding what he was about to do. He hadn't heard a single thing the teacher had said so far and he hoped that it wasn't some kind of individual exercise, since he definitely wouldn't know what to do. 

"Why is it always what the boys decide?" Yasmina's voice spoke from Robbe's side, approaching where he was still standing, speaking directly to the teacher.

The older man let the whistle fall from his hand, banging lightly against his chest, pronouncing, "The majority wins, it always worked that way."

Robbe noticed the girl's little flick of the eye as she slowly snorted, "That's so unfair. We're gonna spend the whole semester playing basketball just because the boys want it."

He could feel Yasmina wanted to say something more, but eventually she gave up, going with the rest of the girls across the hall.

So, basketball. That's what they'd be playing. Robbe didn't sucked at that. Or at least, he liked to think so.

He got close to the rest of the guys who were already picking teams, staying a few inches behind the little group. He noticed Sander a little further ahead than the rest, facing them. Of course he had to be one of the captains. So obvious. Would there have even been a moment since his presence at that school when he wasn't in front of everything? Robbe doubted that. 

Unconsciously, he let his eyes drift for a few seconds for the boy. He was wearing his uniform, just like everyone else there. It was kind of surprising to see him following the rules for once. Sander didn't seem to notice Robbe's gaze locked on him, continuing to pick from the small crowd of boys. 

"Robbe."

He quickly shifted his gaze that was focused on Sander with the mention of his name. On the left side of the blond boy, a few feet away from him, was Jens, staring intently at him. Certainly waiting for a reaction from Robbe. Or at least, that he'd start walking towards his team. His eyes had been so caught on Sander that he hadn't even noticed the tallest guy picking out people from the group as well. He forced his feet out of the place, starting to walk in quick steps towards Jens. 

"Hey," the boy greeted him as soon as he got close enough, a soft smile brooding from his lips. 

Robbe gave him a sweet smile back, thanking him mentally for bringing him to his team. He really didn't want to be forced into his opponent's team. 

With the teams finally formed, the boys headed to the centre of the hall, Sander spinning a ball on one of his fingers. Luka had ended up in the same team as Robbe, which the brunet wasn't so happy about. That boy seemed to love causing him trouble and, honestly, he didn't know what to expect. After that party they'd thrown at the school pool, the only thing Robbe could say was that they were, in fact, unpredictable. 

"Okay, let's do this," Jens addressed him, as soon as the boys started to distribute themselves around the allowed space, "You stay on the right side, I'll go to the centre. Is that okay for you?"

Robbe just nodded his head. Jens must have noticed his hesitation, because the next thing he did was put his hand on the lower shoulder, squeezing it gently, just whispering to him, "This is just a game, okay? None of us are pros, you'll see."

And with that, he pulled his hand off Robbe's shoulder, walking away, starting to run to the center of the field.

After about 20 minutes of game, Robbe really wasn't seeing it. At all. So none of them were pros? Sure. Then why were they all so good? Or maybe they weren't good, Robbe just happened to be bad. But no. He refused to see it that way. He wasn't amazing, but he wasn't so bad either. 

His team was losing. In a pretty ugly way. And Robbe wanted to think it had nothing to do with him, but the truth was, considering how many times he'd let the ball slip, handing it over to the other team, maybe that was correct. But really, it wasn't even his fault. No, he didn't care, it wasn't. It was the someone who kept distracting him every minute, taking every fucking chance to block his body and stop him from getting the ball every time it came towards him. Robbe knew that's the way the game worked, he couldn't stay mad about it. But as soon as he'd walked up to his position on the right side of the pitch earlier, seeing Sander do the same after just a few minutes with a mocking smile on his lips, he knew the blonde boy was just on another kind of mission to piss him off. To push him to the limit. Because that's exactly what the older boy was trying to achieve. And even if Robbe hated to admit it, even if only to himself, he was succeeding. The boy just couldn't leave him alone. It wasn't even about the game this time. He was just really trying to get a reaction from Robbe. Like he always tried. In the first few minutes of the game, he had really tried to ignore Sander's numerous attempts to get him to fight back, focusing on his own moves and not letting the other guy get to him. But it was getting harder and harder just to pretend he wasn't there. Especially since Sander wasn't the only one who had taken advantage of those minutes to try and disturb Robbe. No, his little friend, Luka, had been in constant provocation with him since the game started. That didn't even make sense, since they were on the same team and should be helping each other out, even if they didn't like each other's presence very much. That was still a class and they had to behave as such. So that whole situation was being too ridiculous for Robbe. It was one thing to do that outside of class, another was trying to mess with his performance at that moment. Especially when he was trying to do his best. Which was being pretty hard. From Luka ignoring Robbe when he was perfectly unmarked, preferring not to pass the ball into his hands, to Sander constantly stepping in front of him and using the fact that he was a few inches taller than he was to cover him completely, not allowing him to grab the ball the few times his colleagues tried to pass him. For most of the time, those attempts had come from Jens. And every time Robbe couldn't be fast enough to catch the ball before the blond boy positioned himself in front of him, he had given him a small smile, whispering with his lips that everything was fine. Robbe had responded with a shrug of the shoulders every time, knowing full well that it wasn't entirely his fault. Maybe it was, and he was just trying to make excuses for himself. But no. Everybody could see the other two boys were doing that on purpose. It was obvious. 

Robbe watched Luka get the ball again, dribbling it into the middle of the field quickly. This time, he didn't even bother to position himself so he was free to receive it. It wasn't worth it and, honestly, he was starting to get a little tired of trying. He even wondered if the rest of the boys would notice if he went out in the middle of the game to grab his little bottle and take a sip of water. They probably wouldn't even notice. And Robbe would actually do that if it wasn't for the older man at the other end of the field, watching them closely, one of his hands on the whistle stuck around his neck, spinning it calmly. From the description Aaron and Moyo had given him, he really thought the teacher would walk around the pavilion, yelling at them every time they did something wrong. Or at least, giving some advice and directions from time to time. But no. Robbe had noticed that he had been quiet the whole time, his eyes just drifting back and forth, his face in a perfect rigid expression. He certainly wasn't counting on it. Also, considering how he would never step on the pitch and intervene every time some of the guys would start small clashes with each other as soon as one of the teams would score a point. 

A loud voice, calling out his name, took Robbe out of his thoughts, bringing his mind back to the game, just in time to grab firmly with both hands the ball that flew hard towards him. He leaned his head upwards from the ball stuck in his arms, seeing Luka standing in front of him, looking a little impatient. 

Oh, so now he was passing him the ball? And, of course, it had to be the only time Robbe was distracted. The boy had definitely done it intentionally. And the fucking mocking smile on his face was the only proof Robbe needed to realize that.

He turned his head to the rest of the group, noticing that all the other boys were staring at him, waiting for some movement from him. He just had to throw the ball to someone, it wasn't that hard. So why couldn't he force his hands to do it? Would it be because of everyone's attention on him? Robbe hated attention. And he hated that he was in the center of one at that moment. 

"Are you gonna pass the ball or are we gonna have to wait for you to decide to start playing?" A harsh voice demanded after a few brief seconds.

Robbe's eyes went immediately to the sound source, meeting Sander's cold eyes. As soon as their eyes met, Robbe watched the blond boy tilt his chin up in a clear position of superiority, challenging him to hit back. 

Robbe had told himself that he didn't want any more wars with Sander, but fuck if he wasn't upset at that moment. And the arrogant smile on the older boy's face wasn't helping the situation. Why was he even running from it? Trying to fight against it? No matter how many times he told himself it wasn't worth it, that he just needed to stay calm, there was no one, absolutely no one, who could pull Robbe the way Sander did. The blond boy always brought out the worst parts of him. And he hated, he completely hated, that he let him have this effect on him. And this time, it was no exception. But this time, he didn't want to back down. Because backing down meant giving him one more victory. Sander didn't need that, his ego was already big enough. 

So, Robbe turned his body completely to face him, grabbing the ball firmly in both his hands and throwing it at Sander's chest hard, adding in the most sarcastic tone he could, "I'll give you the honours."

Robbe watched the older boy grab the ball quickly, then drop it close to his feet. As soon as the ball hit the surface with a thump, Sander began to walk slowly forward, approaching the place where Robbe was standing.

Is that where that was going? Well, there was no turning back now. Robbe wasn't going to back off, and there was no way he was going to let the other boy hit him again. So Sander could bring it all in. 

As soon as the blond boy was a few inches away from him, Robbe lifted his head up, staring at him with confidence. His adrenaline was at its peak. And he was ready for anything the other boy could bring in his direction. 

It was too quiet. Everything was too quiet. So quiet, anyone could almost hear a pen falling a mile away. None of the other boys dared intervene. Or at least, not at that moment. The man in charge of that class? He was long way from being seen. How professional. 

Before Sander could say - _or do_ \- anything, Robbe rushed to speak first, the words coming out of his mouth, "Don't forget we're in a class. I can call the teacher any time."

Robbe didn't even have time to see the expression on Sander's face before he heard a muffled laugh coming from his left side, where all the other boys were standing. 

Luka. Of course it had to be him. He really couldn't stop getting into things that had nothing to do with him. Robbe wondered if he only did that to get validation from Sander. It was funny the way he always came to his rescue. That, or he just appreciated being cruel.

"Of course you'd call him. That's what snitches do, right?" Luka said with a visible taste of poison in his mouth. Robbe watched him step forward, ready to approach where he and Sander were, a few feet from each other, but he was quickly stopped by a hand circling his arm, pulling back again. Robbe identified Jens, keeping Luka in place, looking at his friend with his face closed in a serious expression. Even though he was held back, the boy insisted on continuing to talk, adding, "Just like you did last Friday, huh?"

Robbe's eyes immediately drifted to Luka's, looking nothing but confused. Wait. Wait. What? Is that what they thought? That he was the one calling someone to break up the party? That didn't even make sense. Who would he even call? He hadn't even been at that school for more than two weeks. How would he even know who to call? They really couldn't think that much. Besides, Robbe didn't care what they thought. If they wanted to think he did it, they were free to do it. It was just another reason to support the fact that they didn't like him. At least this time, it wasn't for some fucking unknown reason. 

But still, Robbe felt the need to defend himself. 

He cleared his throat, banging away with confidence, "It wasn't me. Why would I even do that if I could just leave at any moment?" His arms crossed firmly in front of his chest, beginning to get impatient with the situation, finally completing, "Besides, you were the only ones who invited me, remember?"

"Yeah, as a joke," Robbe heard Sander spit those words hard in front of him, turning his gaze to the blond boy again, "You should have been smart enough to realize we didn't want you there. Guess you aren't, after all."

 _As a joke?_ Sure, as a joke. Robbe hadn't seen them all through the party, and as soon as they finally decided to show up, they had rushed in his direction, trying to secure him there at all costs. And now, they were acting like they didn't want him there? If it had been his will, he would have left as soon as they had marked their presence there. And Sander saying that? Sander? The same one who had insisted on pulling him out of everyone's sight when he could have just left him there for himself? He really had two different faces, Robbe was starting to see. And everything he said was somehow contradictory to his actions. So, what was his problem? 

Anyway, Robbe wasn't in his way to let the older boy assert it so certainly there in front of everyone. 

"Funny how you put it that way," a second of bravery went through his whole body, making him take another step forward, staying inches from where Sander was, totally ignoring the people around them. So close they were, he could just whisper the following words. But what was the point? Robbe wanted everyone to hear clearly what he was about to say, "Because I remember you were the one who insisted on following me back all the way to the dorms. Even when I told you I didn't want you close to me. And don't even get me started on the--"

The blond boy quickly cut off whatever he was going to say, making use of the few inches that separated them from each other to lower his head, taking his mouth close to Robbe's ear, threateningly whispering, "I'd keep it quiet if I were you."

Robbe didn't like that tone. He didn't like the clear intimidation in his voice. And he definitely didn't like, or rather hated, the way the blond boy brought his body closer to his own, bowing to him, making sure to use his physique as a weapon to fight back. Because Sander knew. He fucking knew it affected him. A lot more than he wanted to admit. So Robbe did the only thing he could do at that moment. He rushed his hands to Sander's chest, pushing him back hard. He watched as the blond boy almost lost his swing with the force he'd used, immediately recovering, his eyes never leaving Robbe's. Not for a single second. 

Robbe had no intention of using that much force. He really didn't. All he wanted to do was create a safe distance between him and Sander, since he hadn't liked how his body had hovered over his in that intimidating way. But, obviously, the older guy didn't even give him time to explain, taking another step ahead of him, pushing him with the same brutality. If Robbe hadn't been expecting that already, he probably would have stumbled over there on that floor. But, fortunately, he was able to balance himself firmly, saving him from some possible humiliation. 

He noticed how Sander was about to speak, probably something much harder than before, but the sound of a whistle blew through the air, making both of them look at the source of the sound, watching the older man walk in wide strides toward them. And judging by the stiff expression on the teacher's face, Robbe knew he was fucked. Why had he let Sander's provocations push him to the limit? _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ That was still a class. And that wasn't exactly how he would behave in one. He'd never been in a fight before. He was a good student. Or at least, he worked hard for it. And now he was letting unimportant situations get in the way of that. As if the warning at the beginning of class hadn't been bad enough, he was starting to get ready for the second one. Fuck, why couldn't Sander just leave him alone?

"Anybody wanna start by explaining what's going on here, boys?" The man's thick voice fought back as soon as he got close enough to the group. 

Robbe quickly opened his mouth to try to justify the situation, or rather, try to find some excuse to justify it, but nothing came out. He couldn't force a word out of his mouth. How could he even explain to someone else what was going on between them if not even him could explain that to himself? 

But he needed to say something. Because Sander was obviously not in his way to say anything. In fact, the blond boy still had the same arrogant smile on his face, his eyes stuck on Robbe, completely ignoring, or deciding to ignore, the question asked by the teacher. Just as he expected. 

Then he opened his mouth again, ready to apologize for interrupting the game and the class, but the teacher cut him off before he had a chance, adding, "You're aware of the conduct of this school, right, Mr. Ijzermans? I will not allow this kind of childish behavior in my class."

Robbe had to control himself so as not to turn his eyes sarcastically. Of course, the warning would only serve for him. After all, Sander was untouchable there. He could do whatever he wanted. How unfair. But everything was fine. Robbe wasn't gonna get into any more arguments. If the man was gonna act like that, all he had to do was lower his head and accept it. Besides, how bad could it be? He'd already been embarrassingly warned about being late earlier. He only had to take one more.

"You can take your stuff and leave my class."

He was kicking him out? Because of that? That was so stupid. Robbe had never been kicked out of a class before. Not once. He cared about that. He cared what teachers thought of him. And now, he was being expelled? And all that while Sander was still smiling from his place? No, that was too much.

"I wasn't trying to disturb your class, I swear," Robbe started saying, the words coming out of his mouth, "Please, I'll--"

The older man interrupted him again, beginning to become visibly impatient, "You're wasting all our time, Mr. Ijzermans. As I said, you can take your things and leave."

Robbe could easily cry at that moment for how upset he was. But he just took a deep breath, turning his back, starting to walk to the wooden stools to get his jacket he'd thrown somewhere before he headed out onto the field to start the game, and his little bottle of water. But before he could take more than five steps, a loud voice made him turn again in time to see Sander face the teacher as he said, "I pushed him first." 

So, that was a lie. The blond boy had definitely started it, but he hadn't given the first push. Robbe had. So why was he saying that? Was that another one of his little jokes?

Robbe shifted his focus to the older man, waiting for whatever he was going to say, but as soon as his eyes landed on him, he watched him drop his stiff posture, quickly being replaced by a confused one, hovering between the two boys. Of course, the teacher wasn't going to do anything. As if Robbe wasn't expecting it anymore. For a school that claimed to have a top teaching council, the teachers there were pretty quick to let themselves be controlled by students. Did anyone even realize how things worked at Eastwood Liberty? Was the money so important that it basically defined anyone's place there? Looking back, maybe his dad's house didn't really seem like the worst option for Robbe. It would cost, both mentally and physically, to have to look at the face of the man who had abandoned him and his mother, every single day, but at least, he could still be at his old school. Maybe he made a mistake when he agreed to come. Not that it would matter regretting it now. There was no turning back. And this situation right now? Well, he was tired. And he was already being kicked out. So, he could perfectly well say the words he wanted to say.

Moving his eyes to Sander's, Robbe inspired deeply, directing his words to the older man, without ever letting go of the boy's cold green gaze, standing a few feet from him, "He didn't. But that doesn't really matter, right? Nothing was going to happen to him, anyway. This school is all about money and privilege."

So, that was a bold move. And the seconds of silence that followed were enough to prove Robbe that he was right. He was right and they all knew it.

And then, he heard a muffled, low-pitched laugh leaving Sander's lips. It wasn't sarcastic. It was the type of laugh from someone that knew perfectly well that it was right, and he was just showing that it didn't bother him. In fact, he seemed to like that status. But how could he not like it? The one who was privileged would never be bothered by his position. But still, the blond boy insisted on hitting back.

Sander threw his hands in the air, looking around him, while he spit without hesitation, "Look around you, Robbe. Of course we're privileged. We pay to be here."

 _We pay to be here_. Those words almost took Robbe a step back, as if they had the physical strength to do it. That had been a lot harder to swallow than anything he thought he'd use against him. Why did he always have to hit that money and position button? 

"Fuck you," Robbe muttered a little too loudly under his breath.

"Back at you, Ijzermans."

If only Robbe could smack that stupid smile off Sander's face. Maybe he should have hit it with the ball when he had the chance. Maybe he wouldn't be smiling right now.

"That's enough," the teacher finally stepped in, knocking down his vacillating posture of earlier, seeming to finally regain the same authoritative expression he'd used at the start of class, "You two can leave right now. And I will not repeat myself."

And with this, the older man turned his body, walking in wide strides across the length of the pavilion, back to the other side of the field. The sound of a whistle was heard all over the space after a few brief seconds, and immediately all the other boys, who had so far been in perfect silence, almost looking hypnotized at the scene in front of them, began to return to their starting positions, realising that it had been a wake-up call for the resumption of the game. It was clear from the way they all walked without one single murmur to the sides that nobody else there wanted to try the teacher's patience. Or they would probably end up in the same position as the other two boys. 

Robbe looked out of the corner of his eye at Sander, noticing that the boy was still holding the same triumphant smile on his face, not seeming to care at all about the situation. Well, the brunet didn't care. They'd both contributed to it. Robbe wouldn't rule out his own guilt. But they were both responsible. And if he had to leave, then he was satisfied that Sander had received the same punishment as him. No matter if he seemed worried about it or not. It was only fair. 

The younger boy didn't even wait to see if Sander followed after him, walking in quick steps toward the hallway that gave access to the locker rooms, grabbing his jacket and the water bottle as he passed the seats. 

But he must have known by now that he didn't have to turn his head to know he was there. Sander's presence had somehow become familiar to him. Too familiar. Almost as if his body went on alert every time they were within a few inches of each other. Fuck, who was Robbe kidding? They didn't have to be mere inches. Just knowing he was there, even if sometimes he didn't even realize it, was enough to send cold shivers all over his body. That was the kind of effect the blond boy had on him. And that's exactly what he was trying to get away from. So now, he was kind of stuck. And he was definitely cursing himself for even thinking it might had been a good idea. What was he thinking? He could have just walked away as soon as the teacher ordered him the first time. But no. He wanted Sander to be as responsible as he was. As punished as he was. And now he was stuck with him. And much worse, because there was no one else around. And there wasn't a single cell in his body that trusted Sander as little as it was. Robbe really hoped that he was too tired to even try to get into a new confrontation with him. He just wanted to get out of those sweaty clothes, get under the hot water and grab his stuff to get out of that building as fast as he could. But he knew Sander. As strange as it was, he knew him. And he knew it wasn't gonna be that simple. Stranger than that, he knew that when they were both alone, with no one else around them, Sander would act differently. His green eyes would still be cold. But he wasn't. Not the way he was when he knew there was an audience, ready to launch his show for anyone who wanted to watch it. That was what was most intimidating about him. And Robbe had no idea whether he preferred arrogant, cold, overbearing Sander or Sander who would laugh with him and seconds later spit out harsh words that he knew would only hurt him. He had many versions of himself, and so far there hasn't been a single one that Robbe was able to like.

Trying to ignore Sander's heavy breathing and strong footsteps, Robbe quickly dodged into the locker room as soon as he got close enough to the little wooden door, slamming it hard behind him just to hear it open again after just a few seconds. 

He opened his own cabinet, pulling out the white towel that was folded on one of the top shelves, and his little bottle of shampoo, putting them on the bench behind him. He kept his head down all the time, trying to avoid any visual contact with the other boy as much as possible. He knew Sander was there, he could still hear his breath. But there was no other movement on his part. No steps, no closets being opened, no bags zips being opened. Just his breathing. And Robbe really had to hold himself back from looking up, just to see what he was doing. Would Sander be looking at him? Fuck, he hoped not. But now, he couldn't help feeling self-conscious. Because, the older boy was there. In the same space as him. And he needed to get out of his clothes, too hot on his body, so he could finally head for the showers. But he didn't want to do that there. Not when he didn't know if Sander was looking at him or not. 

So Robbe risked a quick look up, being immediately confronted with his image, sitting on the bench opposite him, facing him. His legs were slightly open to the sides as he relaxed completely back on the seat, his elbows firmly resting on top of the small backrest, letting his arms fall limp. Following him with his eyes, Robbe finally found his, facing him back with the same intensity. And the brunet swore to feel his cheeks blush at that moment. With the audacious open staring.

Robbe didn't count. But he knew they'd been like that for a few minutes, just staring at each other. Robbe waiting for Sander to move. And Sander? Well, he didn't know exactly what he was doing. And he didn't really seem ready to move at any moment. So, what now? Robbe was just supposed to start taking off his clothes with the older boy's eyes still on him? No chance. 

"So, hmm," Robbe started by saying, the words sounding shaky in his throat, as his fingers found the end of his white shirt, playing with it, "Are you just gonna sit there?"

He watched Sander shrug him off, visibly trying to hide a smile. Well, he was failing miserably, because the brunet could see a little bow forming at the ends of his pink lips. 

"Why? Am not allowed?"

His voice sounded husky. Low and husky. Robbe didn't like it when he talked to him like that. He didn't like it when Sander offered him the quiet. Because he never knew what to expect afterwards.

He stopped playing with the edge of his shirt, closing his hands together in front of his body. Sander had a point, actually. He could sit exactly like that if he wanted to. But not when he was still standing there looking at him. 

"You can," he started slowly, trying to control his words so he didn't look as out of place as he felt, adding, "But I want... I want to take off my clothes."

Sander's lips finally opened in a small smile, his body leaning forward, letting his elbows rest on his knees, "And am I stopping you?"

Robbe automatically rolled his eyes. Those little games again. Like he didn't know what he was doing. Like he didn't know how much it affected him.

The youngest boy opened his mouth quickly to rebound, but the words didn't come out. Sander looked at him for a few more seconds and then got up without saying another word, and started heading for his closet that was opposite Robbe's. And he took advantage of that brief moment, without feeling the pair of green eyes on him, to rush out of his clothes, wrapping the towel around his waist and grabbing the bottle with the smelly liquid, going in quick steps to the shower area. 

Robbe had the perfect notion that Sander would join him in a few moments, so he walked the length of the big space, stopping in front of one of the showers furthest from the entrance, finally dropping the towel to hang it carefully on the small hanger attached to the front wall. He made sure to position his body, so that it was facing the wall, the back of him being the only visible area for those entering there, before reaching the shower and turning it on. 

The hot water quickly reached his skin, making his tense muscles relax in the comfortable heat. A wave of chills covered his entire body when he sank completely under the shower, allowing himself to be washed. Robbe leaned his body down a little to reach the small bottle of shampoo that landed near his feet and, even with his hair falling wet over his forehead and part of his eyes, he still managed to get a glimpse of the blond boy, right in the center of space, getting rid of the towel that was attached to his waist, advanced to the shower. The brunet quickly looked away, focusing again on the wall in front of him. Even if that was too difficult. 

He took both hands to his hair, enveloping it completely with the familiar scent of apple, passing his fingers gently through the various strands. Within seconds, his eyes closed in contentment and he almost managed to tame his mind, which continued annoyingly to take him back to the boy a few feet away from him. Even if he was fighting it. 

Robbe was already finished with his shower, but he still left the water running through his body, too nervous to even turn around to get out of there. Sander was still there, he could hear the sound of the shower still on. A little quick look wouldn't hurt, right? That's what his body kept screaming. But Robbe must have known by now that he shouldn't trust his own body. That was stupid. He needed to hear his head telling him to grab his stuff and get out of there. As soon as possible. But his body was the only one in control. And even if he tried, he couldn't force himself to start moving out of there. Instead, the brunet turned his head slightly to the side, the water still falling down on his face, his eyes, making it a little more difficult to get a clear view of the image in front of him. But still, the small blurry glimpse was enough to capture him. His body was totally enveloped in steam by the burning temperature. His eyes closed and his head tilted down slightly. Hot water cascading down his back all the way to the ground. And his blond hair, perfectly soaked, stuck to his skin right where the back of his head meets his neck. This whole image caused a wave of shivers to pass through Robbe's body. The kind of chills used to describe the feeling of enjoying something, however wrong it was. And he really, really needed to get out of there. What was he even doing? That was so wrong. And he knew that. But why couldn't he stop staring? 

As soon as Robbe suddenly felt Sander lift his head, he immediately looked away, feeling his whole face burn. He'd been quick, but he couldn't help but ask himself if there was a chance the older boy saw him staring. He really hoped not. That would be so embarrassing.

Robbe took a deep breath, gaining strength to finally turn off the shower, making a move with his arm back to grab the towel, quickly wrapping it around his waist, making sure it was tight enough, then stepping out of there in messy steps. Without ever looking up once. 

He didn't even bother to dry all the droplets of water that glided over his body, doing his best to put on his school uniform in the shortest time possible. Putting his things inside the small bag in a hurry, he didn't even bother with the aspect of his hair, which would certainly be all messed up, with wild threads going in any direction possible, grabbing both bags and heading for the exit in large steps.

Slamming the door behind him, Robbe could still hear the sound of the water continuing to fall to the ground. 

  
°°°

  
"But we can't connect this to all the rest of the theory, so this answer is definitely wrong," Jens moved his eyes from the book to Robbe, sitting right next to him, listening to every word he said attentively, "Do you understand?"

Robbe nodded hesitantly, hoping the other boy wouldn't get bored. That was the third time Jens was explaining it to him. And every time, he hadn't been able to force his brain to understand what had been said. He was good at memorizing and finding different ways to connect the different theories. But he could also be a slow learner. Especially when it came to subjects that weren't as interesting to him as others. And the fact that they were already sitting at that table in the school library for the last two hours, was not helping much either. Robbe could already feel his eyes heavy from looking at letters and more letters. Books and more books. They had already reviewed all the material given in the last two classes. Twice. And for the last half hour, they had been putting into practice everything they had seen with a series of exercises that Jens had brought with him, elaborated by himself. Robbe couldn't be more grateful for what the boy was doing for him. To think that he might well be enjoying his free time, but no. He'd been locked in that library with him for hours, repeating the same things over and over again, hoping that Robbe would get something from there. And for that very reason, he really didn't want to tell Jens that, even the third time, he hadn't quite understood why that answer was wrong. The boy was probably tired of saying the same things by now. 

"Are you sure?" Jens insisted again, clearly having noticed Robbe's confused look at the exercise. 

The lower boy shook his head slowly, muttering softly, "Maybe just one more time."

Jens nodded. Robbe was ready to give him his full attention again, hoping that at least this time he could gather some of the information. Even if it was only a part. But instead of picking up the loose leaves spread over the table again, Jens turned his body on his chair to face Robbe. One of his hands slowly went to rest on his shoulder, squeezing him gently, without using any force. 

"Hey," the lower brunet shifted his eyes to Jens', understanding perfectly that he was asking for his attention, "I'm here to help you. And if there's something you don't understand, you just say it and I'll explain it to you a million times if I have to, okay?"

Robbe gave him a little smile, hoping that was enough to thank him, calmly saying, "You're the best, you know that, right?"

The tallest guy gave him a similar smile, letting his hand fall off his shoulder, bringing it to his chest in a playful posture, "I really am, aren't I?"

Robbe giggled, shaking his head slowly. He liked to be around Jens. For someone who had seemed so intimidating the first week he'd been there, he'd definitely turned out to be the most chilled he'd ever known.

The two boys refocused on the summary sheets in front of them. Jens, once again, recapitulating the part that Robbe hadn't quite understood yet, so that he could better understand the exercises he had chosen for him.

After a while, most things were already starting to make sense in Robbe's head. Maybe if he didn't try so hard and allowed himself to read the sentences over and over again, without necessarily forcing himself to understand the first time, the matter would become easier to understand. That, or Jens was very good at teaching. He liked to think they were both right. Just a few more exercises, and they could finish there. It wasn't worth doing so many hours of revisions, Jens had explained earlier. It wasn't good for them. Taking some time off was part of the study, too. But even if that was true, the last round of exercises was proving to be quite complicated for Robbe. He knew he needed a break. His body was begging for it. But his brain was stubborn. Stubborn and persistent. And he couldn't force himself out of the library until he could solve all those questions. To his relief, Jens didn't seem a bit upset that he had to stay there any longer than they had previously agreed. He actually seemed incredibly pleased to be able to help him. 

"Nice to see you guys here."

Robbe tilted his head up to the sound of a loud voice and something slowly being dragged across the floor, causing an almost torturing noise, immediately being confronted with Sander pulling a chair from their table, sitting right in front of him. 

Is it serious? Right now? As if Robbe wasn't stressed enough with those exercises, now the blond boy had to be there too to disturb him as well. 

What was he even doing in the school library anyway? Did Sander Driesen even knew that place? Robbe just wanted to laugh. 

"Sander," next to him, Jens spoke in a low, slow tone, "Not now, okay?"

The older boy bent his eyebrows, giving him his most confusing expression, "What?"

"You know what!"

Robbe just looked between the two boys, keeping his silence. It was strange how they would consider each other friends and then act as if they'd been annoyed by each other's presence. He didn't really understand how they worked. That thing between them, that didn't make sense. But who was Robbe to get in the way? That was their problem. He just wanted to understand those exercises. Nothing more. And he wasn't in his way to deal with Sander today. 

Throwing a glance at the blond boy, Robbe noticed that he had taken a black notebook out of his bag, relaxing backwards on the backrest, taking his knees closer to his chest, resting his feet on the edge of the chair. The brunet almost wanted to roll his eyes. Who would sit like that in a library?

Moving his eyes again, Robbe saw him spinning a pencil between the fingers of his right hand, positioning the notebook he'd previously picked up right on his knees, looking focused on whatever was on those pages. Well, at least he seemed to be entertained by his own things. So he wouldn't bother much. Yes, much. Because the mere fact that he was there was already a bit of a nuisance to Robbe. But he didn't have the time for that now. He needed his attention back to his own problems. Those fucking exercises. 

He leaned his head slightly to the side, facing Jens again. The taller brunet just gave him a shrug, probably telling him not to bother with his friend's presence. Robbe just nodded. 

"Back to this," Jens started by saying, dragging the paper to Robbe's side of the table once again, "We've gone over all the biogeochemical cycles. Now, all you have to do is analyze these schematics and associate what cycle they belong to. It's easy, you just have to look carefully, okay?"

Robbe took his pencil that he had put down next to his notebook, ready to start outlining everything he thought was important to get to the final answer. 

"So, biology, huh?" The brunet tried to ignore Sander's voice on the other side of the table, but it was a bit difficult. Especially considering he couldn't keep his voice low enough for someone in a library, with a lot of other students around, scattered around the various tables, "I fucking crushed that in my first year."

Robbe knew he should probably just ignore it. Not probably, he should really do that. But it was hard not to knock it back. There always seemed to be this invisible line between them that pulled him to Sander all the time. Like his body was begging for a reaction from him. Even for the smallest things. And he had never been very good at controlling his needs. So, he let out a not so accidental low laugh, lifting his head up in search of the familiar pair of green eyes. 

"You crushed it as in you totally failed it?"

That was childish. And Robbe should be focusing on biogeochemical cycles or whatever that was, but fuck if he didn't expect an answer with every letter. 

He didn't miss the way Sander winked at him before answering, with a provocative smile on his lips, "Highest grade of the entire class, baby." 

The brunet took his elbows to rest on the table, right on the leaves with the exercises he should be doing, lowering his body, getting closer to the other boy, giving him the same provocative smile back, "Daddy's money's gotta do something, right?" 

With one sudden move, Robbe watched Sander straighten himself back into his chair, extending one of his hands, in the blink of an eye, to grab one of the loose papers with the exercises spread around the table. 

The blond boy took the notes closer to his face, quickly passing his eyes through the many words, looking almost as if he was examining each one very closely, "Is this what you're having a hard time with?" He raised his eyes from the paper again to Robbe's, a triumphant little smile hovering on his lips, "This is too easy."

It could be easy for Robbe too if Sander could just get out of there and let him study in peace.

The brunet threw his arm forward to try and get the paper back, but Sander, like the usual idiot he was, quickly got up from the chair where he was sitting, taking the notes with him. All that, with the same fucking smirk on his face.

With a quick look to the side, Robbe was just in time to see Jens turn his eyes hard at the scene in front of him, looking more upset than ever. The shorter brunet knew he should have been apologising to him at that moment, as he had also contributed to it. Jens had wasted some of his time to be there helping him and he definitely didn't deserve that. But Robbe did that? No. Instead, he got up from his chair, in messy steps, skirting around the table, heading towards the older boy. As soon as he got close enough, ready to throw his hands at the paper again, Sander lifted it up high, extending his arm as high as he could, leaving it out of Robbe's reach. How childish.

"You can give it to me now," the younger boy demanded, making sure to use his more serious tone, crossing his arms firmly over his chest.

Robbe watched him step forward, bringing his body to hover over his own, causing him to lean his chin up a bit more, to be able to face him back with the same intense eyes. 

Sander opened a little smile, bringing his tongue between his teeth, licking his lower lip slowly, before rebounding, "It's all yours, you just have to grab it."

Of course he'd be a fucking idiot about it. Like Robbe wasn't expecting it anymore. And he knew it wasn't worth standing there asking him. Sander was persistent. Persistent and very, very annoying. So the brunet took advantage of the proximity of their bodies to throw one of his hands over the older boy's left shoulder, climbing on his tiptoes to try and reach the paper. All that without effect. And that only served to amuse Sander even more, if that was even possible. That, and making him stretch his arm even further, taking the page even more out of Robbe's reach.

And at that point, he was furious. 

Angry enough to completely forget where they were, when he yelled the next words, too tired to even try to get his exercises again, "Sander, can you just fucking stop?" 

And when the blond boy whispered, with all the letters, a big 'no', Robbe was ready to push him hard, just like he had done just a few days ago. But a third presence, and one not too pleased if he could say so, cut off any confrontation that might happen between them. Looking at his side, Robbe noticed the librarian in charge of the afternoon shift in the school library, staring at each other with a stiff expression, fixing her round glasses on top of her nose. And he knew he didn't even need to hear the words that would come out of her mouth next to understand what was going to happen. Again. 

But he still listened intently, all the while resisting the urge to lower his head in shame. 

"You two are disturbing all the other students who are here to study and I will ask you both to leave the library right now," the lady spat the words out rigorously, adding, "And be thankful that I'm not going to report this to Principal Bertrand, considering the kind of indecent language I just heard here."

And with that, the older woman turned her back, beginning to walk back towards the desk positioned near the entrance. Not even giving them any time to react. Not that Robbe would even try, not again. Not when she was absolutely right. So, he just went around the table again, grabbing his black bag from the floor, starting to throw the little notebook and pencil holder inside, totally ignoring Jens' attempts to talk to him. Then, leaving in quick steps through the large door of the building. 

He could hear Sander calling his name from behind him, but he tried not to care. If he turned around, he'd probably end up saying things he didn't mean. Or hit him. That seemed like the right option. 

But still, the older boy didn't seem to be about to give up, calling his name over and over again. Closer and closer.

Close enough to reach Robbe's wrist, suddenly turning him towards himself, bringing their bodies together. Too close together. The brunet was quick to release his own arm from Sander's touch, taking a step back, keeping a safe distance between them. His eyes were frantic, just waiting to hear the possible stupid thing the blond boy would surely say. 

But after a few long seconds of silence, Robbe was ready to spin his body again, continuing his way, hopefully without the presence of a certain someone else following him around. 

"Robbe, wait."

He stopped once again at the sound of his voice, turning to face him head-on. Even if Sander was trying to stay serious, Robbe could clearly hear the tone of play coming from his lips.

He cleared his throat, forcing the words out of his mouth, "What?"

He really didn't want to talk to Sander at that moment.

"Fuck, it wasn't that serious," the blond guy started by saying, really not looking a bit worried about the mess he was creating for others, "You didn't have to storm off like that."

Robbe had to lock up the sarcastic laugh that was about to come out of his mouth. Sander couldn't be serious. He really couldn't. _You didn't have to storm off like that._ That was a joke. It had to be. The older boy couldn't be that stupid. Right?

He felt Sander take a step forward, stopping when he was just a few inches from where he was standing, his smile disappearing, probably finally realising what he'd just done. He looked into Robbe's eyes and for a second, a brief second, the brunet really thought he would apologize, for the look on his face. A much kinder look than the usual cold façade. But then, suddenly, the ends of Sander's mouth began to grow once again, a pretentious smile appearing on his pink lips. That was a big joke to him. He just didn't care about anyone else but himself. And Robbe was too tired. And also, two seconds away from beating that smile off his face. Why couldn't Sander leave him alone? At once? Why did he have to keep chasing him like that?

"You just don't get it, do you? We were out there studying before you came out of nowhere, okay? And you just ruined everything. And you got me expelled. Again. Jens wasted his time trying to help me, and now he's out there and I'm here," Robbe started babbling all the words that had gotten stuck in his throat, not caring that maybe he was talking a little too much, "And on top of that, I'm not getting any of this stuff and the exams are coming up and I'm going to totally fail... and you're trying to tell me that I didn't have to storm off like that? Really?"

Robbe took a long breath, but he wasn't done yet. Sander had to realize that not everyone had the same opportunities as him. And not everyone would have the same second, third, chances when they failed. 

"Your place here is safe. You don't have to try as hard as I do," his voice was low and slow, but the words came out determined from his mouth, "If I fail this, no more scholarship for me and I'll be sent back home."

He probably delivered his defeated expression, because the next thing he noticed was Sander's smile out off his lips. His green eyes finally softening. And his voice almost in a whisper, when he asked softly, "What's so wrong with home?"

"Nothing," Robbe shook his head slowly, the words feeling tight in his throat, adding, "Just wouldn't be mine."

He didn't expect Sander to understand what he meant by that. But at least, he seemed ready to give up at that moment and let him continue on his way. All by himself. 

And the conversation seemed over anyway. So, Robbe adjusted the bag's strap on his shoulder, taking a small step back. But before he could turn around completely, Sander spoke again, stretching out something that had been in his other hand all this time, "I brought your notes." 

A little half-smile emerged from the blond boy's lips as he let Robbe take his paper back from his hand. 

With a little effort, the brunet was able to return the same smile, muttering a low 'thank you'. 

And with that, he turned his back on Sander, beginning to walk towards the wide bridge that gave access to the dormitory building, feeling no further step behind him. 

Robbe would talk to Jens later. Explain to him that he was sorry about that and that if he wanted to, only if he wanted to, they could resume their studies another day. 

Right now, he just wanted to lie on his bed, his head on the soft pillow. Try to call his mother, if he could. She never failed to put a smile on his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These 3 chapters are more of a slow burn, but next chapter, things are gonna start to happen, don't worry!! And I hope I can bring chap 4 way faster than this one 😅


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first, sorry it took me so long, got stuck with school stuff :(( but it's finally over for some months, and i want to focus on finishing this fic!! also, a quick note (more for myself than anything), i'm not happy with this chap, i had a very different idea in the beginning, but between writing and rewriting, this is what i came up with... it's kinda boring, but i want to make things start happening next chap (REAL things!!), so yep, that's it, hope you can still enjoy it!

Robbe let a heavy sigh escape, quickly closing the metal door of the small locker with a high thud. Maybe with a little too much strength. In another situation, he would probably look around to see if anyone had noticed and maybe even offer a low apology. But it was too noisy anyway for any of them to even notice. 

He grabbed his jacket resting on the small bench in front of the lockers, going towards the exit door, not looking back once. Closing the door behind him, Robbe could still hear Aaron's protests, his voice two tones above the normal, shouting at whoever had hidden one of his shoes. The rest of the guys just laughed, acting like they didn't know anything. He would have found that situation funny, if it wasn't for the fact that his mind was constantly on alert, checking every second the black watch wrapped around his left wrist. He wanted to be able to relax like any other student, but the last time had proved to him exactly what he thought: he wasn't like any other student. No, he had to try harder. He had to care more. More than anything, he had to be always on time. 

Last Tuesday, exactly one week ago, Robbe had finally understood this. Not only had the teacher made a point of calling his attention in front of the whole class, not even blinking an eye to Moyo and Aaron, but he had also been, for the first time ever, invited to leave the class, on the attentive look of the rest of the students and the upset look of the teacher. It had been embarrassing. And not only embarrassing, but it also meant that from now on, he had to work twice as hard to make sure it never happened again. It hadn't been entirely his fault. But, to be honest, he wasn't in his way either to start splitting the blame. Especially, when the other person didn't care at all. Sander's posture had been quite clear. No matter what went down, his place in that school was guaranteed, it had been since the beginning, and it wasn't going to be a small confrontation with a random new student that was going to change that. 

But it mattered to Robbe. And that's how he found himself walking in quick steps down the hallway that gave access to the main gym, making sure, this time, he got there in time for the first period, saving him another hard reprimand. 

The teacher was already there when he crossed the main field, too busy with some papers in his hand to even look up and realize his presence. He was too calm and Robbe just stood there, his hands uncomfortably tucked inside his loose training suit pants, just waiting for the other man to realize that someone was already there. But that didn't last long. Almost immediately, the uncomfortable silence was replaced by the noise of loud voices, laughter and disordered steps. He looked over his shoulder in time to see the remaining students from the two classes coming closer and closer, heading for the place where he was already standing, just waiting.

It was incomprehensible how in the crowd of students, his eyes immediately found the only person he was trying at all costs not to stare at. Stranger than that, it was his eyes finding his own back, almost on an impulse. Inquisitive on ferocious. Uncertain on audacious. 

Robbe wanted to blame it on his hair. Cold as ice. It was hard to lose. It stood out. It always did. He wanted to blame it on his eyes, exquisite emerald, too mesmerizing to look away. He wanted to blame it on the fact that the blond boy didn't seem to want to get out of his head. He wanted to blame it on himself more than anything. Blame himself for not being able to let go, even if he didn't even understand what it all meant.

All Robbe knew was that Sander was acting differently. The fucked up part was that only three days had passed since they had stayed face to face, outside that library, the completely forgotten study session. Sander had started presumptuous, ready to launch another confrontation, strangely softening in a matter of mere seconds. Robbe had gone from upset, however not so tired to rebound back, to confused, not understanding his sudden change of posture. It had been strange. And now... it was all back to the beginning. 

No, not to the beginning. 

Now, for some reason, Sander was avoiding him. 

Robbe wished he could say he didn't even realize it. But he'd be lying to himself. He had noticed. Of course he had noticed. He had noticed how yesterday, in the cafeteria, he had put his tray right next to Sander's, following behind him in the row of students, his friends too focused on Yasmina and Luca and on a project they were developing for the school to even notice that Robbe wasn't listening to a single word of what was being said, too busy trying to think of a way to start a conversation with Sander, who was strangely quiet on his side, somehow trying to get around the visible discomfort that had been between them since the library situation. Robbe had noticed how Sander hadn't addressed him, not even after his failed attempt to make a joke to grab the older boy's attention, he had said, with a little smile on his lips, "You're gonna be the one trying to make me fall today? Just so you know, I came prepared, no glass of water on my tray." 

Sander had grabbed his tray and followed behind his friends to their usual table, just like that. Completely acting like Robbe wasn't even there. 

So, he was ignoring him. 

Even in the locker room, just a few minutes ago, he had felt it. The unreachable cold distance. How he had promised himself to give the same treatment to the older boy, only to end up giving him, once again, a shy smile as soon as their eyes met. Sander had looked away very quickly, having focused again on whatever Senne was telling him. Robbe had imitated the same movement, guiding his eyes immediately to the ground, hoping that no one had noticed it. He had mentally slapped himself at that very moment. Why the fuck had he done that? It wasn't as if they had suddenly become friends. Fuck, they didn't even like each other. He could ignore him for everything Robbe cared about. In fact, Sander could do whatever he wanted. It didn't matter a fucking thing.

But he was still staring him back through the gym. Why was that? As if Robbe knew. Sander was too complicated to decipher and, honestly, Robbe didn't want to be the only one to do that. Besides, wasn't that what he wanted? For Sander to leave him alone once and for all? Then why did it make him so upset? The older boy had had his fun. He had played Robbe back and forth, giving him a hard time in his early days. And now, it seemed that he had finally gotten tired. The thing was, Robbe couldn't wrap his mind around what he really wanted. He wanted Sander to stop. And he had done exactly that. And he just needed to do the same. 

Robbe was about to move from the place where he had been standing for the last minutes to get close to Moyo and Aaron, who had already arrived accompanied by the rest of the students, when a loud whistle was heard, making him stay in the same place. 

"Good morning, class," the older man finally shortened his distance, getting closer to the students, still holding the little whistle between his fingers. A chorus of "good morning's" spread through the large space, perhaps too energetic for a Tuesday morning. If there was one thing Robbe had noticed from that school, it was that every single student was ready - maybe even trained - to do their best in any of the classes, even if that class was physical education.

"I hope everyone came well prepared, we're going to test speeds today," the teacher barely finished speaking and Robbe could already feel the competition in the air, everyone already a little too excited to see who would get the best. The man cleared his throat, his voice sounding a little more authoritative this time, adding, "Everyone can start preparing now with six full turns around the building. Mr. IJzermans and Mr. Driesen, you two stay here, I'll prepare the material and we'll talk in a minute".

And with this, the teacher turned around and started heading back to the other side of the field, leaving the two boys behind, their faces a mixture of confusion. The rest of the class began to disperse, doing exactly what they had been told. 

If Robbe wasn't already in panic before, then he was definitely now. Why the hell did he want to talk to them? If it was about what had happened last week, then why wait a whole week just to give them a lecture again? 

He tried not to stress himself, keeping his breath calm. It would certainly be just another warning so that it wouldn't happen again. It had to be, he couldn't afford to be expelled from the class again. Worse than that, having the teacher report that to the school principal. But he wouldn't do that, right?

With the corner of his eye, Robbe risked a short look in Sander's direction. He didn't know what he was looking for... but he was looking for something. And hopefully, deep down, he was waiting to find, whatever it was, in Sander. But his face gave him nothing. His body, too. It was as if he was glued to the ground, his hands stuck into his pants, his chin raised, while his eyes focused on a single point, far away from where Robbe was standing. His expression was neutral. Not the firm one he had gotten so used to, but not uncertain either. _Just a big nothing_. 

The deafening silence was beginning to become uncomfortable. The teacher was far from being seen and the rest of the class had already followed his orders, the sea of running steps far from being heard inside the building. 

It had been six minutes since the older man had left them there, just waiting for him to return. And the brunet knew the exact time, because, for the last six minutes, all he had done was check the watch on his wrist, seeing the seconds passing slowly, trying to abstract his mind from rambling towards the other boy standing beside him. But it was getting harder and harder as time went by, even if it was only minutes. Sander was strangely quiet, and Robbe just wanted to gather the courage to ask him why. Why was he acting like that? Fuck, did he even realize that he was acting like that? Or was it just whatever for him? For a second, for a fucking second, Robbe really wished he had back the sarcastic comments and the sideways looks, or the smug smile he wanted to get out of Sander's lips. Any of these things would be better than... that. The non acknowledging that he was even there. And the younger boy couldn't even be upset about that. What reason would he really give for that? He could go round and round inside his head and still, he would get to the same point. That's what he wanted. Simple as that. He himself had said the words over and over again. And Sander seemed to finally understand. 

So, why couldn't Robbe be satisfied with that? 

He drove the tip of his tongue between his dry lips, slowly wetting them, swallowing hard against the knot stuck in his throat. He barely recognized his own voice when he said, his eyes still not risking to look at the green ones, "Do you know what this is all about? 

He waited ten seconds. _Nothing._

He could still hear the quiet breathing on his side. But no word was spoken. Or at least, loud for him to hear. 

He waited another ten seconds, swallowing constantly, before risking again, hoping that, this time, his voice would sound not so uncertain, "I don't think he talked to the principal," the last part came out almost like an echo, slowly unfolding, more for Robbe than exactly for Sander to hear, "Or something like that".

Ten more seconds. _Nothing._

Whatever. He wasn't going to try again. It could be exactly like the other boy wanted. Robbe didn't care. Well... he was working on not caring.

To his own relief, the professor's high footsteps began to be heard on the gray rubber floor. It was about time. He didn't know how many more minutes he would be able to stand there, stuck with the uncomfortable feeling of being completely ignored. Twice. 

"We didn't have the time to talk last class, but you two have the perfect notion that situations like that can't happen, right?" The older man started by explaining, trying to sound as rigid as possible.

Robbe nodded his head almost as instinctively. Couldn't they just end it at once? He already knew that. And he wasn't going to do it again. He just wanted to know what kind of trouble he was in. Just pulling the bandage at once would be better than lifting the edges slowly. And he just wanted it to be finished. 

"I didn't communicate any of this to the principal Bertrand, because I want to believe it was a one time thing," the older man continued, "Am I right?

"Yes, sir," Robbe and Sander answered in unison.

The older boy had spoken for the first time since they had arrived there. And, in an involuntary movement, Robbe turned his head slightly to the side, finding the source of the sound, as if his body had been guided against his will. Of course, Sander continued to act as if he wasn't there, keeping his focus on the man in front of them.

The teacher cleared his throat to regain Robbe's attention, adding with a question, "I hope you have learned your lesson and that situations like that will not occur again in my class. Both of you are old enough to know how to behave, right?"

"Yes, sir," The two boys answered again in unison.

"All right. You two aren't going to participate in the rest of the class today," the man raised his arm back toward another part of the gym on the other side of the field, pointing with his finger, "Do you see that big blue door over there? That's the storage room, we keep all the materials inside". 

Robbe was already beginning to understand what he was asking for - or rather, ordering. And, honestly, it was a fucking relief to him. He would take anything over sitting, with his hands sweating, in front of the man who was in charge of that place. Anything would be better than that. 

With a tone of voice beating the sarcastic, the teacher continued, "Lucky for you two, this weekend we received a ton of new materials. And I'm sure you two will spend some fun time putting it in the right place." 

Robbe didn't lose the heavy sigh that abandoned Sander's lips at that moment. Oh, so he wasn't excited about it? _Good_. It wasn't like he knew the meaning of tidying up anyway. He probably had people who did everything for him. He would laugh in his face if he could, but he wasn't in his way to do what he had only promised not to do anymore. Start one more argument between them. Still, it was fun for him how, this time, the older boy hadn't managed to walk out of the situation without his own consequences. 

"You can go now," the teacher calmly ordered, his voice came out of his mouth almost in a pleading tone, when he added quietly, near the inaudible, locking eyes with the blond boy, "And, please, Sander, make it easy for me for once and do what I told you".

And, with that, the teacher finally left, contouring Sander's body to head toward the exit door, his whistle already held in one of his hands, ready to draw the attention of the students who were still out there, focused on the warm-up before the final speed test. As he passed Sander, the older man quickly took his hand over his shoulder, squeezing it gently, a simple gesture that declared - or rather, asked, hoped - that the boy would do what he had told him. No complaints. No slip-ups. _Just do it. Please._ That's what it looked like. And Robbe wasn't there for it. That was ridiculous. And he was sure it was illegal too. The way they were acting, Sander might as well get past the superior there. Whereas the older man was just the uncertain student. Those were their roles. And the way the teacher hadn't looked once in his direction, except when he started to explain to them what was going to happen there, served to prove - funny enough, once again - that he didn't give a fuck about Robbe. And he wasn't doing anything just standing in the same place. So, he quickly moved his body, walking away in wide steps towards the small wooden door on the other side of the gym, not looking back once, over his shoulders, to see if Sander was following behind him. He knew he was. 

In the end, he had to. 

  
°°°

  
"You're just gonna sit there the whole time?" 

Robbe threw the question in the air, trying to keep his tone as stable as possible, or otherwise it would come out a little too hard. But he couldn't help it. Not when Sander was acting that way. 

From the moment they had entered that small room, completely stuffed with boxes and more boxes, the older boy had walked confidently to a set of tables at the back of the room, climbing on top of one and leaning his feet on the back of one of the old chairs. And he had stayed exactly like this. Without talking, without moving. Just staring. His eyes never revealing anything, but entirely focused on Robbe. It had been like this for the last thirty minutes. 

The brunet had tried to ignore the green eyes following him everywhere, carefully watching all his movements. Robbe had really tried. But he hadn't succeeded once in avoiding the trembling hands and the warm face, whenever his eyes met those of Sander, even at a glance. Fuck. Why did he have to have eyes like that? So deep... so _mesmerizing_? Plus, why did he have to look at him like that? Couldn't he just move? Maybe, do something?

Robbe was growing tired. He just wanted to finish his work there and leave. But Sander wasn't helping at all. In fact, he was actually making it difficult. How the hell would he be able to finish some work there when he couldn't even concentrate on what he was doing? His focus always going back to the blond boy, now relaxed against the wall, his legs stretched out on the wooden table. 

Once again, he didn't answer him. But, this time, Robbe didn't give him any chance. He had had enough. More than enough, in fact.

Carefully descending from the place where he was, balanced on one of the metal ladders he had found in a corner of the room in order to reach the shelf where the tennis rackets were stored, he dropped the box he had been holding, until the moment, on the floor with a high thump. He couldn't possibly care less about the material that was stored there, ready to be tidied up, when he started taking quick steps towards the tables. Robbe could see how the expression on Sander's face wavered for a second, his eyes growing bigger. He quickly got himself together, waiting for his next move. But Robbe had figured him out. He didn't have to touch his hand on the older boy's body to know that it would be tense under his touch. He could see it in the way he straightened himself quickly, his shoulders no longer pressed against the cold wall. 

But it wasn't new. Robbe had seen all this before. He had observed it. Maybe even replayed it in his mind over and over again. At the entrance of the dorms, the same day of the party in the pool, their eyes stuck on each other, across the room. In the dressing room, Robbe too desperate to get rid of his sweaty clothes, warm on his body. It hadn't been the only warm thing. Sander's gaze on the other side of the room, sitting on the bench, relaxed back, not even trying to act as if he wasn't looking. Followed by the shower, trying to get away from the water falling through his skin, all the way to the floor. Even last Friday, as Sander had softly pronounced ' _home_ ', afraid that the word would shatter if it spat in a way other than that. He had seen his eyes softening with the seconds. The sudden change in his posture. Something really... genuine, coming from him. But that genuineness had a deadline. And as soon as it came to an end, the cold, apathetic distance would all return. And worse every time. And Robbe had allowed that. Because, no matter how much Sander pushed him, back and forth, in the end, he would come back, just to be pushed once more. It was funny to think of the logic of that. Or, in the absence of it. The older boy would push him, at the same time he would be pushed again to him. He would blame it on his body, he always did. His mind was totally out of reach, even if his mind and his body were not what worried him the most. Scared him the most. He would close his heart completely, the only place where he allowed himself to be real. It didn't matter how many beats skipped every time his skin was close to touch Sander's own skin. It wasn't real, he would tell himself. It was just the new, intimidating feeling, the long wait for conflict. The desire. It was easy to control, from an outside point of view. 

His thoughts were quickly pushed to the bottom of his mind. It was not the time now. He preferred to leave them for when his head would rest on the soft pillow, his eyes closed, even if it was dark enough for him to see nothing but white strands and pink lips. 

Climbing up on the table, the one next to Sander's, Robbe slowly relaxed back, bringing both his knees close to his chest, just standing there, in that position, without saying anything at all. 

He could feel the other boy still staring at him, now closer. And he definitely didn't lose when Sander let out a bitter laugh, turning his eyes, facing him back.

"What are you doing?" Sander finally spoke, his voice sounding more confused than anything else. 

Robbe shrugged, quickly bouncing, "If you're not going to do anything, then neither am I," he pressed his lips with a slight frown, adding, "This was supposed to be both of us, remember?"

Sander shook his head in a disdainful tone, clearly trying to hold his laugh, "You do realize you're the one who's gonna lose here, right?"

And there it was. 

Robbe wasn't dumb. He knew the older boy would play that card. And he also knew it was, in fact, true. He was the only one who would lose there. Sander would walk out that door with the guarantee that, no matter if he followed the rules or not, nobody could take it from him. Robbe couldn't say the same about himself. But still, they were there, completely alone, and they would stay like that for a while, and he couldn't let that opportunity slip away, even if Sander didn't deserve him to even care. He was ready to take that little exchange of words to a whole new rambling about why.

Changing the subject very suddenly, not even caring to answer the previous question, Robbe asked him, the quick words almost running over each other to get out first, "Why are you avoiding me?"

He thought that the next few seconds would be filled with a new uncomfortable silence, both not knowing what to say. Robbe cursing himself for asking the question and Sander probably avoiding him again and his question. 

But the blond boy answered without hesitation, his eyes narrowed and his chin raised, "I'm not avoiding you."

That was a joke to him, it had to be. Acting as if Robbe wasn't even present and, now, rebutting that he wasn't trying to ignore him. It certainly didn't seem like it. 

"But you are," the brunet argued, almost shouting the words, relaxing immediately. He didn't want it to look like he had been affected by it. He took a deep breath and risked, "You're talking to me now... but you weren't before," the last part came out of his lips in a murmur. 

Why did he even bring this up? Robbe was beginning to deeply regret having started this conversation between them. He could perfectly well still be on top of the ladder, a box in his arms, finishing what he had come to do there. But no, he really had to sit down and ask Sander, looking like a fucking plea, why he wasn't acknoledging him.

The older boy let out a frustrated laugh, as if Robbe was too ridiculous, taking one of his hands to his hair, letting his fingers pull the strands a little too hard, "I don't get you, Robbe," a pause, another heavy sigh, "If I talk to you, you complain, if I don't say anything at all, you complain too. You can't fucking make up your mind."

Now it was Robbe's turn to let a cynical laugh escape. _You can't fucking make up your mind._ Sander was the only one constantly sending him mixed signals. All the fucking time. And he was trying to turn it on Robbe? Hell, no. 

"You're the only one who's been acting like an idiot to me since the beginning," Robbe's stiff tone of voice cut through the air, "What was I supposed to do? Act like it was nothing and kneel to you like everyone else, like you're the fucking king here?"

The brunet looked at him with _confusion, frustration, irritation._ Everything together in a mixture that was quite evident on his face. The conversation had taken a risky turn. And he knew it would only end in an exchange of insults between them. 

"I said you had?" Sander rolled his eyes, shooting back, "And for the record, I act like an asshole to everyone, I don't keep a special place for you, you know?"

"You look proud of that."

"I never said I didn't."

That conversation wasn't gonna get them anywhere, and they both had the perfect sense of it. Sander wouldn't give up the facade he'd created for himself. And Robbe wouldn't surrender either. They could go on and on and it wouldn't be worth a thing. 

A few seconds passed, and Robbe was about to get up from his place on the table, ready to start again the work he had left behind, knowing perfectly well that subject had died there, or at least, at that moment, when Sander spoke again, his voice back to the normal calm, "Should we get this done already?"

"It's not like I wasn't already doing it, you know?" Robbe answered, not really trying to be sarcastic this time.

Sander just shrugged, quickly getting up from the table and walking toward the ladder. Robbe followed behind him.

Treading the small stairs carefully, the blond boy tilted his head back, pointing to the abandoned boxes on the floor, "You give me the stuff and I put them here, works for you?"

Robbe nodded, grabbing the first box he saw, holding it tight with both hands, passing it to Sander's arms, who had lowered himself slightly from where he was positioned to grab it with a little "thank you".

This is what Robbe was talking about. The constant change of personality. He couldn't keep up with that. It was impossible. But, for now, he would shut his mind and allow them both to be inside the same small room without feeling the need to be in each other's throats all the time. Besides, Sander was finally helping him. No complaints. And he was happy to take it as a victory for the day. 

All that had remained to be discussed there, they could leave it for another time. 

And Robbe knew that time would come.

  
°°°

  
"Fuck, that took so long," Aaron spoke loudly from Robbe's side. Loud enough that an older woman, with a red dossier stuck firmly in her arms, probably some teacher there, gave him a reprehensible look, contouring the group of friends to follow her path, not without shaking her head negatively in Aaron's direction. Aaron just gave her a shrug, a playful smile stamped on his face, earning him a laugh from Moyo. 

"And it's only Tuesday," Moyo said quietly, throwing his arm around Aaron's shoulder, pulling him to continue their way toward the main building's exit door, "We're not even half done, and I already can't wait for the weekend," he completed, his voice coming out in a snort, already sounding tired. 

Robbe followed the two boys to the end of the hallway, quickly stopping as they approached the corner that gave access to another different hallway, clearing his throat to speak, after having spent more than two and a half hours trapped inside the classroom without saying a single word, just pointing out everything that was said and done, lifting his two biology books in the air, too heavy in his hands, directing it for the other two friends who had stopped to look at him, "I'll leave these in my locker, and then I'm off to the library just to review some things. "

Robbe didn't miss Aaron's surprise expression, and the boy made a point of looking at him with his eyes wide open and his eyebrows arched in a perfect bow, "Dude, we just got out of a whole day of classes and you're still going to study now?"

Robbe tilted his head slightly to the side, a little playful smile breaking out of his mouth, as he threw his arms in the air defensively, "You know... some of us have to work to do well."

Even though the three boys burst out in a set of laughs the next second, Robbe couldn't deny that there was a little truth to what he said. Not a little. A lot of truth. But he knew that Moyo and Aaron weren't dumb, they knew what it was all about. And for that very reason, they chose to laugh and let it die there, not feeling the need to drag it out. 

Moyo rubbed his hands together, saying, "We'll try this new game that Aaron just bought this weekend," the look he gave Robbe stated that he wanted to say something very different, but he quickly murmured, adding with a wink, "You know where to find us."

Robbe nodded. Of course he knew where to find them. They literally lived together. 

With one last look, which, for a second, seemed like a pity one, Moyo and Aaron turned their backs and followed their way back to the dorms. Robbe sighed, watching them go, cursing his own luck. In one thing Aaron was right, he wasn't really in the mood to pick up his notes, waiting for him in the small metal locker, from a previous class, all scrawled everywhere. To spend another hour or so sitting in the cold chairs of the library, trying to put whatever he was capable of in his mind. But he had to. Sooner than later. If he started accumulating too much matter, it would be much more complicated to be able to review everything in time for the exams to start. So, he needed to train his body as soon as possible to always take time out of his day to go through the sheets and more sheets with notes. 

This thought alone, led his mind to Jens. Robbe really wondered if he should just send him a text and ask for his help. Jens had been patient enough with him in their first and last study session. And that was exactly what he needed. Someone who was willing to help him, without having the need to make him feel as if he wasn't at the level of any of the other students at that school. Just as his teachers had made him feel so far, as if he didn't belong. But then he returned to last Friday, and how Sander had suddenly appeared and ruined what he and Jens had achieved so far. And, as if that hadn't been bad enough, Robbe had left Jens behind, leaving the place after being asked to leave, with a fierce Sander following him. Everything had become normal after that. Robbe had texted Jens that same day, apologizing again and again, and the other boy hadn't cared too much, making sure Robbe understood that none of it was his fault and that he was 100% willing to help him again. Whenever and wherever he needed it, he had told him. Besides, the tallest boy hadn't seemed a bit bored with him, when they saw each other again on Monday morning, as soon as Robbe had arrived, earlier as always, at the classroom where Jens was already sitting in his usual chair, right next to Robbe's. They had laughed and talked about each other's weekend, Robbe's boring one, trapped inside the four walls of his room, binge watching some new science fiction series he had run into, just leaving his room at mealtimes. Against Jens' euphoric one, the two whole days spent with his little sister in a new amusement park that had recently opened. Robbe had listened carefully to the stories he shared, smiling from ear to ear, even if in the back of his mind, his memories had taken him back to his tenth birthday and how his mom had promised him to take him, for the very first time, to walk on the Ferris wheel of an amusement park located in the nearby town. He had been happy, with his little yellow party hat attached to his head by an elastic thread, jumping around the house. He'd been happy and then he hadn't. It had been a mess. And it had ended up with his mom screaming in tears at his dad, some clothes being thrown out the door, and a few bottles missing from the small kitchen cabinet. Everything has been back to normal the next day. Or at least, that's what his mother had made it look like. That day, they didn't put a single foot inside the old car, there was no trip, and Robbe's wish to walk, for the first time, on the Ferris wheel of the fair, had been cruelly crushed. Memories he had left to forget, no matter how much they wanted to invade his head. Still, he never lost his smile while listening to everything Jens told him, from winning the most diverse toys, after hitting all the necessary targets, to the sticky fingers of the cotton candy his sister, Lotte, had asked for. Jens had told him how he had felt being on top of the Ferris wheel, watching everything from above. People looking smaller, the moon looking bigger, how free he had felt. And Robbe had swallowed dry at a time. And everything was fine. They were fine. He was fine.

But still, he didn't want to call him now. It was already 18h30. Soon, the canteen would open to serve dinner. And even if he was already thinking of passing it, he didn't want Jens to feel he had to do it too, simply to help him with his studies. So, he just followed his way, walking in fast steps down the long corridor, towards the place where was fixed the set of metal lockers. 

Getting there, he quickly looked for the locker with the respective printed number that belonged to him, opening the small door. 

Robbe was not the most organized, he wasn't. Shirts scattered all over the desk chair, socks lost under the bed, often late for appointments. Many things. But when it came to school? Not at all. He would sort each book in alphabetical order of the subject, all the white notes organized by date. Anything that would help him, later, when he would pick them up to review the subject.

So, he knew, in fact, that the new white papers, over his math book, didn't belong to him. 

He quickly grabbed the set of sheets, attached to each other by a metal clip, immediately noticing the small post-it note attached to them. A vivid green with beautiful blue handwriting, which had simply written _'I promise not to steal these - S.'._

Robbe pulled out the note carefully, then kept it in his uniform pants pocket. Leading his attention to the annotations in his hand, he passed his eyes through the sheets, all written with the same letter as the note. Of each subject. At the end, after all the handwritten sheets of paper, some exams were attached. They all came identified in the same way: _"Sander Driesen - First year, class B"._

He was almost sure that he should not have access to these exams. Even if they were not recent. At least, physically, in his own hands. Fuck, not even Sander should have access to them, but of course he did. 

And why had he give it to him? Even more, how the fuck had Sander managed to leave it in his locker, controlled by a 4-digit code that only the students and the employee in charge of reception had access to? 

Leaving the questions behind, Robbe held the papers against his chest. He couldn't deny it. These would definitely be useful. He had already lost a few months of subject matter, having arrived later at that school than the other students in his class. And the exams? He could study all the questions over and over again and get a slight idea of what was to come.

Still not understanding very well why Sander had given it to him, and in a very dumb act that he would probably slap himself mentally later, he took them close to his face, slowly breathing them, waiting to see if they would smell just like him. Robbe would recognize that characteristic smell from far. Almost intoxicating. But no. No sign of Sander there. It just smelled like an old book would, after years kept in the same drawer. He knew he looked ridiculous if anyone saw him at that moment. Standing in the middle of an empty hallway, the locker door still open, with a series of papers pressed against his nose. It would be quite an image. 

Quickly recovering, Robbe slammed the door close, still holding Sander's notes, as if someone was going to take them from his arms. For a moment, he almost forgot where he was going. 

Fixing his bag on his shoulder, the papers still pressed against his chest, Robbe started heading towards the school library, maybe a little more excited to run his eyes through them, making a mental note to thank Sander as soon as he saw him tomorrow. 

Sander was an asshole. But maybe he had been a little less of an asshole today. 

  
°°°

  
Robbe opened the double door of the main building with his shoulder, being immediately received by the muffled heat coming from all sides, a great contrast with the icy cold of February outside. Walking along the long corridor, he could feel his cheeks burning against his own skin, and he knew that he didn't even have to see himself to know that his face would be red. It was a little his own fault. He had walked in fast and wide steps, from the dormitories, across the bridge, all the way here. For no apparent reason. He wasn't late. He knew he wasn't. He would check his watch every 5 seconds to be sure of that. But still, it was as if his body was always on alert. 

He had skipped breakfast in the cafeteria. Again. But this time, it hadn't been because he was too nervous to sit alone in that sea of wolves, on the watchful eye of the rest of them. No, yesterday, already very late, Moyo and Aaron had left the big room, warm in their fancy robes, looking for some night snacks. Robbe was not sure what had happened. He just knew that the two boys had walked in the door minutes later, their arms loaded with little plastic bags and drinks, trying not to laugh too loudly. _'I'm sure we fucked the vending machine,'_ Aaron had said with a shrug, not looking a bit worried. So now, their desks consisted of three different types of drinks, chocolate bars, chips and individual plastic bags with muffins. The vending machine outside at the entrance? Almost completely empty. And it wasn't even about the money. Moyo and Aaron could perfectly buy whatever was there. It was more about the messing, getting into some trouble and always coming out on top. They just liked that. They enjoyed being reckless without facing any consequences. Even on things as banal as a vending machine. 

And, of course, once again, Robbe had put his uniform on, correctly pressing each button, fixed his bag on his shoulder and left the room, while the two friends had stayed behind, hands already reaching the PlayStation console, with the excuse that it was still early, they had time. Robbe had limited himself to shaking his head, following the same daily path, by himself, as he was so used to.

Reaching his locker, Robbe took his fingers to the lock, slowly turning the combination, then organizing his already organized books, trying to keep himself busy. At this point, he was just trying to make time. He could perfectly head to the classroom, where he would have his first morning class, where Jens would already be, relaxed back in his usual chair. They would talk and laugh until the class started filling up with students. Robbe enjoyed those short minutes. He always had a good time with Jens.

But he had different plans today. He just had to wait patiently. 

Leaning his body against the lockers, he brought his phone out of his pants pocket, boringly unlocking it. He had already sent a text to his mom. As soon as he awoke. She would normally go to bed early the night before, too tired from the medication, but they would always talk in the morning about how their day had gone. She loved to know about school, and classes, and Robbe's new friends, filling him with more and more questions about each thing. Questions that Robbe would happily answer, while he would eat his breakfast. 

A black hoodie on the end of the hall caught his attention. Sander was so easy to find. The only person in that whole school who wouldn't be wearing the navy blue uniform. 

Putting his phone back in his pocket, Robbe walked - _almost ran_ \- towards him, trying to catch him. He could have called his name, but the headphones stuck in his head clearly indicated that Sander wouldn't hear him. 

Accelerating his steps, Robbe got close to the blond boy, taking his hand on his shoulder, in an attempt to make him stop. He knew Sander wasn't counting on it, when he turned abruptly back, his mouth already open, ready to say something. But he quickly pressed his lips together when his gaze found Robbe's. His expression suddenly going from a boring to a confused one, his eyes narrowing, blinking more times than they should. Taking of the headphones, Sander led all his attention to the brunet in front of him, tilting his chin slightly down so that their eyes were at the same level. Some calm rock drums beat could still be heard between them. And Robbe was sure he had already heard that song somewhere. Some distant memory.

"What?" Sander's voice finally cut through the silence, sounding low. 

Robbe allowed his lips to open in a small smile, answering back, "Sorry... I just wanted to thank you."

"For what?"

Sander's face made it seem like he had no idea what Robbe was talking about, but the brunet had already learned to go further. Always further. And his mouth, notoriously trying to hold in a grin, had delivered him. 

"No, but seriously, thank you," the younger boy continued, his fingers looking for his hoodie strings so he could keep his hands busy, quickly realizing he was wearing the uniform blazer at that moment, resting his arms uncomfortably on the sides of his body, continuing, "I've seen some of the stuff, so when you want it back-"

Sander interrupted him immediately, almost shouting, "You can have it. They're yours now, Robbe," he stopped for a few seconds, as if he was reluctant to say the following words, adding, "And if you need any extra help-"

Another interruption. But this time it had not been for any of them.

A loud voice, cutting through the hall, called out for the blond boy, causing them two to look away searching for the source of the sound. A few steps away from where they were standing, there were Senne and Luka, walking as if they were in charge of those halls. What, honestly, they did. But only because everyone else had allowed them to do it.

Robbe didn't lose as Sander took a step back, creating a bigger distance between them.

"What's going on?" Luka casually asked as soon as they got close enough, looking between the two boys. Faking some apology expression, taking his hand to his chest and all that stuff, he quickly added, only looking at Sander, as if Robbe wasn't even there, "Oh, fuck. It's pissing IJzermans hours already? I thought we booked that for lunchtime."

Robbe watched Senne hit Luka on the head with a little slap, while he told him to shut up between laughs. Then, he threw one of his arms around Robbe's shoulder, bringing him close to him in a not-so-friendly tug, adding with a smug smile, "Sorry for Luka's behavior, IJzermans. He doesn't know how to behave." 

Luka just gave him the middle finger. 

Robbe used Senne's distraction as a way to quickly let go of the strong grip around his shoulder by stepping back.

_What the fuck was their problem?_

"Ohh, easy," Senne fought back, still laughing. With a look in Sander's direction, he added, looking genuinely confused this time, "No, but serious. What's happening?"

Robbe opened his mouth, even if he knew that the other boy wasn't exactly asking him that, "Sander was just..."

But his words were quickly cut by the sharp tone of Sander's voice, when the older boy answered, without offering any emotion, "Nothing."

Robbe was already averting his gaze to the ground, not wanting to deal with this again. But Sander hadn't finished yet. 

Much louder this time, and much colder, he added, "IJzermans here, just thinks he can waste my time."

One step. Much closer. As close as they had been before Sander took a step back. 

Taking his fingers gently to Robbe's chin, Sander lifted his head up to find his look again, "But we'll deal with this another time, right?"

The brunet abruptly moved Sander's hand away, facing him one last time, before turning his back on the three boys, walking away from each of them. 

No, he wasn't going to do that again. 

That's what Sander wanted. What he desired.

That Robbe would fight him, again, with his daring mouth. Sharp words.

So he'd have an excuse to come back ten times worse. 

He'd take him down and then get him back, again. Soft words.

And for what exactly?

In the end, Sander would always take them back to the beginning.

And that was ridiculous. 

That was nothing but three little kids with paper crowns on their heads. So much for thinking of themselves as kings. 

Robbe would just do what he should have done from the beginning. 

Stay away.

Stay back and give him a little taste of his own poison. 

  
°°°

Lying back in his bed, Robbe took a deep breath, growing tired of Aaron's almost begging. It wasn't the time now. He looked once again at the text right in front of him, ignoring the other notification that remained unread. 

Today had sucked. 

He had spent the last half hour outside the room, sitting against the door, blocking out any noise other than his mom's voice on the phone. She had gotten worse, Robbe knew that. She didn't want him to worry about it, but he knew it wasn't all fine. She had told him that it was a good thing, that she liked the new hospital, that everyone was nice to her and that it didn't matter that she had to stay there longer. All lies, he knew that. He knew that she wanted to be back home. Back to the place she knew. The comforting feeling of belonging. But she couldn't. 

Robbe had everything planned. His mom would finally leave that place. And, somehow, he would convince his dad, which he wasn't so excited about, to drive her there, so that she could put her eyes on the place they'd been talking about. He would finally have a place to come back, whenever he missed home. He could convince some of his friends to leave him at the nearest subway station. Or, rather, talk to them so that they would talk to their parents. And he could go home at least twice a month. 

But no, it had gotten worse. And he had no one to come back for. 

He had swallowed the tears that threatened to fall at any moment, going back into the big room as if it was nothing. As if it was just another call. 

He had swallowed his tears again when his mom sent him a last text, telling him to sleep well, that they would see each other again soon. 

And he had definitely swallowed his tears, of frustration, of revolt... of _anger_ , when the still unread text had appeared on his screen. 

He couldn't be serious right now. Not after yesterday. 

Besides, a party was everything he least wanted at the time. 

He just wanted, for once, to have the whole room to himself, so that he could drown in his own mind, feeling pitty for himself. 

But, of course, Aaron couldn't just leave that. And Moyo wasn't helping either. 

"Robbe, come on," Aaron started again, as if Robbe hadn't heard the same thing over and over again, "It's Friday. We're not going to leave you to sulk here. I promise it'll be fun."

Right, because the first and last party he had attended had been so much fun. 

"Besides," Moyo said on Aaron's side, "I heard from reliable sources that you were a good boy this week, studying late in the library, you deserve a little fun."

Slightly lifting his head up, Robbe watched the two boys standing in front of his bed, waiting for him to say something. Preferably, that he had changed his mind. 

He didn't lose the way Aaron and Moyo looked at each other, having some silent conversation just with their eyes. 

In the next minute, all Robbe knew was that he was being lifted from the bed by two pairs of strong arms, one grabbing his feet while the other grabbing him by the arms. He let out an unexpected scream, no longer being able to hold the smile that had threatened to appear on his lips, since Aaron had knelt beside him on the bed and tried to tickle him so he would laugh. 

They simply couldn't be satisfied with a no. 

"Where the fuck are you taking me?" Robbe shouted, trying to get out of his two friends' grip. 

Pushing the shared bathroom door with his foot, Moyo entered first, carefully so that Robbe's head wouldn't hit somewhere. But that carefully didn't last long. Unhooking one of his hands from Robbe's arm to be able to light the switch, he almost lost the swing, catching Robbe almost two centimeters from the floor. 

Of course, the two boys started to laugh uncontrollably, leaving Robbe to mentally curse them. And his own luck too. 

He gave up trying to look upset very quickly, it wasn't worth it, joining them, allowing himself to have a good time, even if for a few seconds. 

"Why are we here?" Robbe asked, already with his feet firmly on the ground, not running the risk of almost falling again.

Aaron looked at him as if he should already have the answer to that, shooting, "What? You were thinking of going to the party in your uniform?"

Robbe shrugged, shaking his head slightly, "I never said I'd go to the party."

"But you will," Moyo fought back quickly, taking his hands on Robbe's shoulders, pushing him into the corner where the shower cubicle was positioned, too big to accommodate just one person inside, "Things are gonna work out this way, you're gonna take a shower and then you're gonna dress yourself real nice, maybe some perfume and we're gonna drink until we fall today. Sounds good?" 

"Hell, yeah," Aaron answered for him, still leaning against the counter on the other side of the bathroom, "I want to see you all smelly and fresh when you get out of here... just don't take too long, we also have to take a shower."

"Or," Moyo retorted, his eyebrows moving suggestively, "we can all take a shower together and save time."

Robbe clapped his hands together, laughing when he said, "Yeah, it's not going to happen. You two, out!"

He pushed Moyo jokingly to the door, trying not to come apart laughing with the boy pretending to be offended and shouting at him that he was the one losing, that they would all have a good time just passing the soft sponge along each other's backs. 

They really were something else. 

And Robbe was kind of grateful that he had stayed together with them. 

If he had to stay there until the end of the year, at least, it was with people who would make him smile, even when he didn't feel like that. 

And, once again, he had given in to the two boys' request. 

One more party.

Fuck, he couldn't contain his enthusiasm. Too sarcastic?

  
°°°

  
"Finally."

It was the first thing Robbe heard when he approached the small group, with Moyo and Aaron right on his side. 

Amber quickly got off the wall where she was standing, waiting for the three boys to get close. 

Aaron immediately passed his arm over her shoulder, leaving a soft kiss on her forehead, "Sorry, we lost track of time."

"It's fucking cold here," Luca appeared behind Amber, "Everyone else has already left." 

On Luca's side was Jana, Zoë and Britt, each of them wrapped in a thick coat, trying to get as warm as possible. 

It was really fucking cold. And Robbe almost regretted bringing only his blue sky hoodie. But he wasn't planning on staying for long either. All he wanted to know was where the hell that party was. Clearly, it wasn't in the pool again. 

The girls had been waiting for them near the main gate, so wherever that would happen, it certainly wouldn't be inside the school. 

"Can we go now?" Zoë said, her head resting on Britt's shoulder, while her voice came out shaky from the cold.

Everyone agreed with her. And, at the next second, Robbe watched Amber take three small flashlights out of her brown bag, passing one to Luca's hand and the other to Moyo, keeping the last one to herself. 

What? Why did they even need flashlights for? Where the hell were they going after all?

Robbe took a chance, trying to find some answer to his questions, "Wait, where are we going?"

Moyo amusingly pointed the flashlight against his face, his voice dropping in a failed attempt to sound frightening, "Into the middle of the forest, my friend."

"Idiot," Luca laughed on Robbe's side, "But yeah, basically. But it's cool. They light a fire in the middle, and there's music and lots of drinks. Best part, we can make whatever noises we want, it's not like anyone will hear us from there. It's a nice spot."

So Moyo wasn't kidding? In the middle of the forest, really? Who would even think of having a party in the middle of the forest in mid-February? In this cold? Actually, more importantly, how would they even get out of the building? Would this be one of those moments he had already seen in movies where the students would jump the school gates and they would all scream when they were finally far enough away not to get caught and all that stuff? Because he definitely hadn't brought the pants for that. 

"I won't be the last to jump, I'll just say this," he threw into the air quickly, raising his hands in a defensive posture. 

The next thing he knew was that they were all laughing at him. Robbe just bowed his eyebrows very high. 

Amber took out of her coat pocket a set of keys, the tinkling sounding by the silence of the night, "Do you see this? It's the keys to the gate, Sander left them with me... did you really think I would skip the gate? I'm wearing a dress, Robbe."

And Robbe knew he didn't have to question himself anymore. That said enough. Of course Sander would get the keys to the gate. Of course he would. 

He just waved. And with that, the group started heading towards the exit. Near each other, while Luca, Amber and Moyo guided the way ahead with the lanterns. 

  
°°°

  
 _Fuck_ , that's all he could think. 

There were too many students there. 

And Luca hadn't lied. The bottles of drinks were at a wooden table, the same wooden table as many of the classrooms, probably even stolen from one of them. There was a small fire in the middle, most people positioned around it, trying to keep themselves warm. Some others were sitting on stones. And music, of course, couldn't be missing. And it was definitely loud. Playing some hard beat. 

Not that anyone would listen them there, as Luca had said. The way over there had been long. Longer than Robbe had thought. 

Luca and Moyo had spent the whole time pointing their flashlights up, to the sky, drawing figures in the night and seeing if the other could guess what it was. Amber had been upset about this, especially after Britt had stumbled onto a tall rock because of the lack of light. Aaron had broken up laughing about it, and Amber had given him a sideways look while Robbe and Jana helped her up, making sure everything was okay with her. 

It had been nothing. And they had gotten there all fine. 

They walked towards the fire, arranging an empty space near it, forming a circle between them. Just talking and laughing. Robbe listened carefully to all the stories of different parties. He shared his own stories. With his group of friends - or rather, with people he used to go out with - back to his old school. Between loud laughter and fucked up situations, Moyo and Aaron had gone out to get drinks for everyone.

Robbe didn't even took a look at the contents inside the plastic cup, throwing it down his throat in one movement, twisting his nose as soon as he felt the drink burning through his body.

This wasn't so bad. 

He definitely liked having the girls around this time. Especially when Moyo and Aaron left the small circle to go greet another group of boys on the other side of the fire, with the promise that they would come back very soon. 

So, that didn't happen. 

An hour later, and the two boys were still standing there, an indistinct conversation going on between them. 

But it was whatever. The girls had kept him entertained the whole time, never leaving his side. Luca was loud, finding one thing and another to include in the conversation, never letting it die. 

It was, for the most part, fun. Fun and easy. 

But then, it took a different path. 

Robbe tried to act as if he didn't really care, as if he was there just to listen. 

Amber had pointed her head at someone behind Jana. Robbe's eyes had followed the same movement. It was just the wrong direction. 

The blonde girl had clearly intended to point at Senne, a few feet away, leaning against a tree, with his hands in the pockets of his pants. She wanted to know how her friend, Zoë, felt knowing that he was there staring at her without averting once his gaze, his eyes focused only on her. 

But Robbe's attention had gone to everything but Senne. 

His eyes were immediately captured by the boy standing right beside him, a drink in his hand, a joint in the other. 

Sander had his hoodie completely pulled up, leaving visible only a few white strands that fell through his forehead. He looked... obscure. There was no other word to define it. 

He shook his head to clear his thoughts away from Sander. 

Robbe wasn't sure in what point they were. Fuck, he didn't even know how Sander would act today. 

The older boy would try something? Trapping him? Worse, faking genuineness with him, only to throw him away as soon as his little friends appeared in the image? Or would they ignore each other all the time?

Robbe wished for the last option, more than anything. He didn't want to deal with Sander today. Everything but today. 

A touch on his shoulder called him back to reality, almost scaring him.

Next to him was Jens. With a smile from ear to ear. 

"Hey."

And silence. It seemed the girls had put an end to the previous conversation between them, from which Robbe had long since derived, staring at the two boys, too curious to even act as if they weren't listening. 

"You came," Jens added.

Robbe cleared his throat, trying his best to give him a sincere smile. Jens deserved that.

"Hi. You're here."

He wished he could slap himself right now. Why were they acting so weird? It was not like they didn't talk to each other every day before school. 

Jens was his friend. He was comfortable with him. But, for some reason, the other five pair of eyes focused on them, were leaving him not knowing what to say. To his relief, Jens had noticed too. And he probably felt the same way. 

Pointing with his head towards the drinks table, he asked him, "You wanna go grab a drink?"

Robbe quickly nodded, excusing himself to the girls and leaving the small circle, following Jens. 

"So, that was weird," the tallest boy shot, when they were far enough. 

Grabbing two new cups, Robbe watched Jens fill each of them halfway with some blue drink, passing one of the them to his hand. He thanked him, taking the cup to his mouth, wetting his lips lightly. 

"This is nice," Robbe said. Now that they had moved further away from the fire, he could feel how cold it really was there. His cheeks shrinking with the cutting ice. 

"You're cold," Jens said on his side, taking a sip of his drink, too.

Jens would always state the obvious. He would always do it, from the beginning. Robbe thought it was funny. Like when he had taken Jens' colored markers in the middle of a class to paint some random drawings he'd done out of boredom, and the other boy had said to him quickly, in a whisper, "You're painting."

Like, weren't they all fucking cold?

Robbe turned it on Jens, giggling when he fought back, "Why? You gonna give me your jacket?"

"I'm gonna pass, I'm cold too" Jens said, pulling his jacket tighter on his body, followed by a wink, "Unless you really want to. You know, my jacket." 

The shorter brunet tilted his head slightly to the side, a shy smile on the edge of his lips, "You're a flirt, aren't you?"

Here was the thing. Robbe would joke about it, saying he bet Jens had a reputation in that school. They'd both laugh about it. And Jens would hit on Robbe, all fun and games, just to prove that he could. And it was funny. And friendly.

But sometimes, it didn't seem friendly at all. 

Like that time at the pool party. 

Jens' hand calmly finding his, touching his fingers softly, running them over his warm skin. 

That hadn't seemed friendly at all. 

And Robbe really didn't want to come too hard on him. Acting like it was an absolute certainty that Jens was trying some kind of move on him.

He thought about telling Jens a few times. Just casual conversation. Something within the lines _'I thought you were hitting on me at this party, isn't that funny?'_

But he never did. Maybe, he was just afraid of his reaction. Not that Jens would think it was ridiculous. But that, for a moment, he could give Robbe confirmation that, in fact, it hadn't all been in his head. That there was something there.

Robbe didn't want that. He didn't want there to be anything there. Between them. He liked Jens. But never more than a friend. 

He pushed those thoughts into the back of his head when Jens started telling him how Luka had driven there, one of the wheels of his car having gotten stuck in a deep mud puddle. He had yelled, while Jens had just laughed. Both leaving the car behind, a very upset Luka showing up at the party. 

And maybe Robbe's thoughts were really ridiculous. 

Just like him, Jens didn't seem to see him as anything but a friend. Even if certain things said otherwise. 

  
°°°

  
"Already? No, just a little bit more, Robbe," Robbe almost fell with the weight of Aaron's body thrown against his. The other boy taking his arms around Robbe's neck, pulling him close in a weird hug attempt. 

Aaron was too drunk. So was Moyo. 

Zoë had disappeared from the party a half hour ago, Robbe having noticed Senne walking quickly behind her. None of them had shown up anymore. Jana, Luca and Britt were dancing. Alone in a corner, making the funniest moves, just having a good time. 

Robbe felt a little bad for Amber at that moment. He didn't want to leave her alone with her very drunk boyfriend. But Aaron didn't want to leave already and Amber didn't want to leave him behind. And Robbe was too tired, he just wanted to go back to his bed and call it a day.

Amber had waved to him, assuring him that everything was fine, that she could come back with Aaron and Moyo later. The girls would help her. Everything was fine. 

She gave Robbe her flashlight, so he could use it on his way back to school. 

With one last look in Amber's direction, another apologetic look, he turned and began to walk away from the group of students who were still singing and dancing, free in the night. 

Robbe still thought about asking Jens if he wanted to come back with him. He could use some company. But Jens had already spent almost all his time at the party glued to his side. Now he was having fun with his friends and Robbe didn't want to mess it for him by taking him away, because he knew, Jens would follow him if he had asked him to. 

Taking the first steps out of that place, the flashlight pointed directly in front of him, Robbe felt someone behind him, steps too heavy and slow. 

It could be any student, it could. He had barely taken more than ten steps, any other person could be returning to the dormitory, just like him.

But he didn't have to turn around to know who it was. Only one person would stay behind him, cautiously following him, without saying a word. Just staring. Because he could. 

Robbe had said before he even got there. He wasn't going to deal with him today. So it was better to cut it off immediately than to let him get to him. Like he always did. Every time. 

Raising his voice enough for him to be heard, Robbe threw in the air, "Is following me everywhere just a hobby of yours or do you do other things too?"

Sander laughed. Low. And Robbe knew he'd have that fucked-up smile on his lips. He could almost hear it. 

"I can't let you come back alone, can I?"

Robbe rolled his eyes, even if Sander couldn't see. 

_As if he cared._

With his sharp voice, he twisted, "Right, because coming back with you is so much better."

He heard Sander sigh heavily, "I never said it was. Still, I won't let you come back alone."

A tinkle went through the air, and Robbe finally stopped in his way to look back. There was Sander, with his hood still covering his hair, holding a key in his left hand, "I have my car."

Robbe cursed himself for even thinking about it. But fuck it. He was tired. His feet were already dragging on the muddy ground. And he didn't even want to think about the way back to school. 

A car didn't seem like a bad idea. At all. 

The problem was just who was driving it.

But Robbe couldn't refuse the ride. He couldn't and he didn't want to. 

Even if in the back of his mind, he was repeating all the possible consequences. Sander abandoning him in the middle of the forest, on a path he wouldn't know how to come back again. Or some kind of prank waiting for him. 

But he just pushed it back, starting to walk towards Sander, really hoping it wasn't any of the cases. 

The older boy indicated the way, Robbe following behind him. 

Alone, in the middle of two tall trees, was a single car. All black. Just like Sander. And possibly his soul. A range rover, Robbe thought. So obvious. Rich people all had the same taste, it didn't escape. 

Unlocking the car, Sander entered the driver's seat, closing the door on his side. Robbe still stopped for a second, wondering if it was too late to go back on his own, but his feet moved faster than his brain, quickly entering the fancy car. 

Robbe stretched to the side to put his belt in front of his body, watching Sander do the same. He tried to relax his body backwards when he heard the car being started. They left the place in total silence. 

There was no music playing and Sander wouldn't talk either. 

The way was deserted, there was no other student passing by. The only noise was the cold wind beating against the car windows. 

At least it was warm in there. Robbe could almost fall asleep because of how tired he was. And the seat was comfortable, too comfortable. Keeping his eyes open, he started to wander, inspecting. The car was clean. Clean and fresh. It smelled like the sea. Right under the radio were a series of CDs. He could read the cover of the first in line. David Bowie. Robbe had never heard of him. 

Spying with the corner of his eye, he watched Sander. Trying to look as subtle as he could. 

Sander was focused. His jaw tight and his eyes narrowed, totally focused on the path in front of him. Driving his eyes further down, Robbe noticed his knuckles. White. Grabbing the steering wheel tightly. 

"What?" The blond boy finally spoke, his eyebrows raised. His voice was low. 

Robbe shrugged, muttering a little 'nothing'. 

He turned his body to the side of the window, seeing how it had become foggy due to the contrast of the cold outside with the heat inside. Taking his finger to the window, he started drawing random shapes, trying to focus his attention on something other than Sander. He hoped that he wouldn't bother him for doing that. 

Robbe started humming a song to himself, seeing the tall trees passing by. 

With a quick look at the car's watch, he saw the numbers forming 02:45. 

It was late. And he couldn't wait to land on his soft bed. 

"Why are you here?" 

Sander's voice suddenly cut through the small space. 

Robbe looked at him, but Sander wasn't looking back, still focused on the road. 

"Because you invited me," the brunet replied as if it was quite obvious, frowning upon his forehead in a confusing sign, "I got the text."

He watched Sander shake his head slowly, "No, I mean here, at Estwood."

"Because I got a scholarship," Robbe spat back, "I thought we'd been through this before."

There was a moment of silence. 

Robbe could tell that Sander was thinking about his next question. Whatever it was. He didn't trust him. 

"And why did you take it?"

And there it was. 

The older boy had no interest in how he got there. He already knew that. They had discussed Robbe's scholarship before. Sander had even allowed his friend to call it a charity case. So Robbe knew what he thought about it. What he wanted to know, what he was interested in knowing, was the reason behind it. Why had Robbe accepted it? Because he knew he wasn't like the others there. He didn't have the same money, he didn't have the same fame. He didn't come from the same families. And he knew that Sander was aware of that. Everyone around Robbe did. And that's what he was curious about. Why had Robbe accepted such an opportunity when he knew he wouldn't be able to blend in with everyone else? Everything he had, they had five times more. 

But Robbe wasn't about to give Sander what he wanted to hear. That he himself also knew that he didn't belong there. And that he would never belong. 

He wouldn't admit that to Sander. 

So he just chose the easy way out, saying, "Why wouldn't I?"

That ride was starting to feel too long. 

"That's not an answer," Sander insisted, "You left your hometown just to be here. There has to be a reason."

Robbe was about to interrupt him to ask him why he was suddenly so interested in his life, but the blond boy went faster, quietly adding, "Besides, you never go home on weekends."

What? And how the fuck did he even know that? Robbe had never seen him once at school on a weekend.

He could choose the easy way out again, just by answering his question with a new question. And there were so many where he could choose from. _How do you know that? Why this now?_ Or, more importantly, _why do you even care?_

But Sander would attack him with something else. So it would just be better to be honest, not looking too deep into it.

"Simple," Robbe began by saying, keeping his voice in a disinterested tone, even if the words were hard to come out of his lips, "I hardly have a relationship with my dad anymore, so I don't really feel like visiting him... and my mom's in a hospital right now. So no weekends back home for me, exciting, right?"

Shifting his eyes back to the foggy window, Robbe blinked them quickly, feeling his throat tightening. He watched the little drops of drizzle that had formed outside, running slowly along the glass, leaving a clean trail behind them. 

He almost wished he could do the same.

But he wouldn't cry. Not here. Not next to Sander. 

That would be embarrassing. 

More embarrassing than anything else. 

With his tears already controlled, far from falling, Robbe risked a short look in Sander's direction.

He looked everything... but surprised. 

He also seemed more relaxed. The little wrinkle between his eyebrows, from narrowing his eyes, could no longer be seen. It gave a soft touch to his face.

But Robbe had learned not to trust that soft side of him. It always came with a twist. 

Sander was not saying anything. 

But what exactly did Robbe expect?

Words of consolation? Looks of pity? He didn't need it, he'd been offered it his whole life. 

But he couldn't stand the silence either. Especially when Sander's silence always said so many things. 

One minute passed. Or anything close to it, it wasn't as if Robbe was paying attention. Not now. 

And finally, the blond boy spoke.

Whispering a quiet 'hmm', he quickly added, "That's tough."

And he left it there. 

And Robbe immediately took the hint. Sander wasn't shy with words. He would always say what was on his mind. Without thinking twice. And if he wasn't talking, it wasn't because he didn't know what to say. It was because he didn't want to go any further into it. 

With that, Robbe relaxed back again, keeping his eyes in front of him, waiting to see the giant bronze plaque, indicating that they had arrived.

And it didn't take long. For his own relief.

He watched Sander driving past the gate, going around the corner at the bottom, following straight from there. Robbe didn't even know that there was another entrance on the opposite side of the main one. 

Parking his car right next to a red car already stopped there, Sander slowly turned the keys. 

If it was already silent on the way back, now it had grown bigger. Without the noise of the engine running, all Robbe could hear was his heavy breathing against Sander's quiet one. 

He didn't know what to do now. 

Would the older boy accompany him to the dorms? Or was he just waiting for Robbe to leave?

"Thanks for the ride," Robbe finally said, staring at Sander. 

"It was nothing."

Right. That was his tip. He should go. 

But he should have known by now that his mouth was always thinking faster than his own head. 

"You're not coming?"

Robbe hated the way his voice sounded begging. Almost like an invitation. Low and sweet. 

"Not yet."

_Back with the short answers._

Robbe wouldn't think much about it. Taking his hand to the belt tight around his body, he let go of it, opening the car door, jumping out, closing it behind him. The cold hit him immediately, making his skin shiver.

Pushing his hood over his head, he started walking towards the dormitories. 

It had started raining. Fortunately, the building was near.

Even before Robbe took more than ten steps, he heard the car again and, seconds later, the singing of tires. 

He didn't have to look back to know that Sander had left again.

Where to? As if he knew.

And for a second, a brief second, he wished he could know. 

Worse than that, he wished he could still be there with him. 

As sick as it was.

And that's when it finally hitted.

Luckily, he could blame the rain on the tears that burst along his cheeks.


	5. Chapter 5

Eastwood Liberty was everything, but reserved.

As soon as Robbe had stepped in those halls, he had understood what kind of game was played there. 

And he had been ready for it. In the best possible way.

He just didn't think that all the rigged lies and twisted secrets would be played right in front of him. Within reach of anyone to see.

But, once again, reputation was something that definitely did not follow that school.

And he'd understand it in the worst way.

Robbe had been rubbing his eyes for the last five minutes, his eyelids heavy under his touch, too tired by the few hours of sleep he had had the night before. 

It was Monday, after all. And Mondays always cost a little more to leave the warm bed and the comfortable clothes. Even more, when he had stayed up late playing PlayStation with Moyo and Aaron. All Robbe wanted this morning was to throw the sheets over his head and stay there, in the same position, until it was lunchtime. Maybe his roommates weren't so wrong about skipping some classes. 

But he was a good student. He had always been. So, he had dragged his tired body out of that room against his will. Behind him had been the other two boys. Complaining all the way to the canteen. Something about Robbe having opened the curtains, letting the cold February sun in through the clean glass. He had just shrugged. He had grown used to that complaining. It had been like this practically every other day. 

But now, fatigue had left him. Or at least, the feeling of it.

His eyes were wide open as he stared at the white paper stuck between his fingers. He still blinked a few times to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. But it didn't matter how many times he did it. As soon as he opened his eyes again, the same big red circle was still printed on the top of the first page. Right next to his name. The number inside, fixed, almost as if it was laughing at him.

_9.2._

In all his years, Robbe had never taken home a piece of paper, just like that one, with something other than 18. Or 19. Sometimes even 20. When he defined his priorities and worked harder for it. But that was it. The highest grades in the class. Always. Without exception. And there was no one who was more proud of it than himself. Every night he had been stuck between four walls, head down between books and more books. Trying to outdo himself every time. That was what he was good at. Learning. Learning and applying. 

And that 9.2 facing him right back, that was definitely not what he had worked for. 

An essay. 3000 words. A work of three weeks. That counted. That counted for his teacher, that counted for the rest of the students there in that class, who always worked to be on top. At all costs. Even those who had to come up with other strategies to get there. More than anything, that counted for himself. So he could finally step on those halls with the guarantee that he belonged there. That he was just as good as any other student. That it didn't matter he hadn't come from the same money or support. That, in the end, it was only about what one could achieve. 

And Robbe knew that he had done it. He had made sure of it. From the moment the teacher had assigned that work to the class.

He had been proud of his final result. Taking his time with every sentence. With every word. And now... he was no longer.

More upsetting than that, only when his eyes flew to his left and landed on the few papers in Jens' hands. A visible red 19 adorning them.

Driving his gaze a little higher, to be able to face the boy, he saw nothing. Just a boring expression. His eyes focused on the black watch wrapped around his wrist. Not even bothering to look at the note. As if he was ready to slip it carelessly into his bag and finally be able to leave class. 

Shifting his gaze back to the front, Robbe watched, with the corner of his eye, Yasmina and Moyo swapping a high-five between them, while Amber smiled in Aaron's direction, one of her hands stretched forward, lightly squeezing his shoulder from where she was sitting on the chair behind his. A clear gesture of pride. 

Everyone in that room either seemed ready to leave as soon as the bell rang, some of them already starting to close their cases and notebooks, or seemed satisfied with the results they had just received. 

But not Robbe. 

His thoughts were running at a thousand an hour, trying to understand what had gone wrong. 

Molecular biology. That was his thing. He knew everything about replications, and amino acids and DNA. This was what he was studying for. What he had worked twice as hard to achieve. To understand all kinds of cells and their structural organization. So that, one day, he could study human diseases, and all the microorganisms that cause it. To prevent and treat. To help those who needed it. That was his thing. And he had worked for it. Ever since he had learned how to read. And how to write. All the scientific articles. And medical journals. 

And there wasn't a single way that he hadn't done well in that essay. 

"Is everything okay?" 

A low voice interrupted Robbe's thoughts, diverting his attention back to the boy sitting next to him. 

He quickly nodded, throwing a small "yes", trying to act like it was nothing. But it wasn't entirely true. It wasn't true at all.

"Hey," Jens insisted again, one of his hands reaching Robbe's hand, still resting on the table, right above the white paper completely filled by more and more words, squeezing it gently, "Next time it'll go better, right?"

Robbe nodded again, leaving it there.

He knew Jens was just trying to cheer him up. And he appreciated it.

But he also knew that Jens wasn't dumb. Not at all. In fact, he had been the only one to keep it real from day one. The moment Robbe had walked through that door for the first time, too shy to form coherent sentences on his lips, trying to find a place where he could sit down. Jens had just told him how it was.

It wasn't as if Robbe didn't know anymore. He was perfectly aware of it. He knew that system was completely rigged. For people like him, of course. People who couldn't throw a few hundred to keep those numbers as high as possible. Just enough to stay on top.

Of course, there were students like Yasmina, and Jens, and Britt, the ones who worked for that. Those he knew worked for that. But even those were always benefited at the end of the day. 

He knew he couldn't expect a lot from a school that let itself be controlled by its own students. Or rather, the money invested by their parents. 

It was all a joke. 

And worst of all, Jens was wrong. Next time it wouldn't go any better. It would be exactly the same. Because no matter how hard he worked, his place in that school had been defined from the beginning. 

So why accept him at that school if they weren't even willing to give him a chance in the first place? That was Robbe's biggest question. Still unanswered for all these weeks.

Robbe had two options there. Going out the door as soon as the bell rang, indicating the end of the first lesson, or staying and stand up for himself, exactly as he should have done from the first moment his feet stepped on the cold marble steps of the main entrance. 

He took a heavy sigh. The last thing he wanted to do was to annoy someone there. Especially his teacher. He had been extremely careful so far. Well, except for that Tuesday in physical education. But that hadn't been his fault. Or at least, not entirely his. 

But that situation right there was fucking unfair. 

And it couldn't be more obvious, even if they tried.

The loud sound of the bell finally echoed throughout the room, making Robbe's breathing stop for a millisecond. 

A second later, he watched the older woman saying goodbye to the class, giving it as finished. She quickly went to sit back in her chair, holding an orange cape in her hands with a bunch of papers inside.

He didn't have the time to ponder about the best option and, the next thing he knew, he was waving in the direction of the small group of friends so that they would continue without him. He could find them later. 

He watched Moyo give him a nod back, his eyes frowning in a confused expression, but he quickly grabbed his bag and followed the others.

"Are you coming?" Jens asked on his side, his left hand straightening the bag on his shoulder. 

Robbe shook his head, bouncing, "I need to clear something with the teacher. About the last chapter, you know?"

A lie. 

"I can help you with that," the boy said back, adding in a lower tone, "If you want to, of course."

Robbe gave him a little smile, putting his best expression, "Thank you. But I have this."

Another lie. 

If there was one thing he didn't have, it was control of the situation. 

But he could just pretend. In the end, that's what he was good at. 

Pretending that he didn't care about that fucking grade. Pretending that he didn't want to scream at that exact moment. Maybe dropping some tears. Pretending that he didn't want to belong there. Pretending that he didn't care about a certain-

Many things. 

He could pretend again this time. He had grown quite good at it.

"Okay then, guess I'm going," Jens said. 

With one last look towards Robbe, Jens turned his body, still standing by their table, walking straight toward the door.

It was a look of pity. Robbe could see through it. And he hated it. Pity was the last thing he needed. 

Looking quickly around the room, he finally noticed that all the other students had already left. 

Good. At least he wouldn't have anyone there to testify in case he had to beg for a new reassessment. Which would certainly be what would happen. 

Taking slow steps towards the long table near the big whiteboard, Robbe swallowed dry, trying to keep his breathing stable. 

He did not like this. Never in all the years he studied did he ever have to address a teacher, asking for an explanation in relation to a grade from him. He didn't even know where to start. Or what to say. "Hey, I think you made a mistake and I deserve more." It wouldn't fucking work. Not in his old school. And definitely not at Eastwood.

Clearing his throat, Robbe finally spoke, the words leaving his mouth very quickly, "Mrs. Janssens, can I speak with you?"

He did not lose the heavy sigh that the older woman let slip, muttering at once, her heavy voice with coldness, "Exactly about what, Mr. IJzermans?" 

The older woman didn't even bother to lift her eyes from the papers in front of her when she spoke.

Not good, so far. 

And now Robbe was much more nervous than before. He couldn't go back and the teacher didn't seem to care a bit what he had to say. Definitely not good. 

He swallowed against the knot which had formed in his throat, trying to keep his trembling hands steady when he stretched his arm in the direction of the desk, holding the white papers with his own writing.

"It's about my grade," he hesitantly answered.

In a sudden movement, the teacher finally lifted her head, lowering her red glasses to the tip of her nose, staring at Robbe over the two glass lenses. The look on her face was not the most friendly. And he was cursing himself mentally, regretting even going to her. 

The teacher took - practically ripped - the papers out of Robbe's hands, passing her eyes through the note written in red on the top corner of the first page. 

"Is there a problem with your grade?" She looked at him coldly, relaxing back in her chair afterwards.

Of course there was a problem with the grade, Robbe wanted to scream. There was a problem with all the fucking stuff at that school. The selective treatment of students and the distribution of grades was just another one in the middle of that manipulated system to help those who already had everything needed to get far. Money to bet on the best education and the best tutors. He wanted to shout it all.

But instead, he breathed calmly through his nose, choosing to answer, "I just... I just think I did better than a 9."

Robbe watched the teacher open a little smile on her lips. It was bitter. Disdainful, really. He'd gotten that kind of smile there before. Over and over again. It wasn't just a simple line. No. It had a meaning. That he was a nobody there. And that way, he had no right to demand anything. 

"Do you really think so, Mr. IJzermans? And why is that?" She kept talking, the poison in her voice getting more and more visible, "I read the essay. Nothing impressive about it. My place here is to congratulate those who deserve it. If you haven't reached their level, then there's nothing I can do about it."

Robbe felt his face warming up. That's what she wanted. To embarrass him. Make him doubt himself. And she had achieved that. Those people could come from the upper classes, but class was something they lacked a lot.

She wouldn't change his grade. That was sure. Not even a reevaluation. And there was only one more thing he could try. He couldn't just give up. That 9 would interfere with his final grade, even if he did better at the other assignments. 

"Can't I just redo the essay?" Robbe shot very quickly, his tone was practically a plea, "I promise I have it ready by tomorrow. And twice the words. Please, Mrs. Janssens?"

The older woman dared to laugh. Yes, to laugh. And Robbe never wanted so badly to dig a hole right in that place and not leave until the year was over. That was embarrassing. 

"Of course you can't redo it," the teacher explained, still trying to keep her smile to herself, "We have rules here at this school if it wasn't already clear to you. What would the other students think if they saw me let a student redo the essay?"

"But all the others-"

The teacher didn't even allow him to finish the sentence, cutting it out immediately, "We are done here, Mr. IJzermans. I still have two more classes to grade and I don't have the time for this. I recommend trying harder next time. I don't throw good grades around as if they were nothing".

_Clearly._

Sticking the papers inside his bag, not even caring if he was going to end up crumpling them, Robbe murmured a quick "thank you", turning his back and walking in heavy steps to the exit. 

Passing through the door of the room towards the hall, there was only one thought running through his mind.

_I don't belong here._

_But I am determined to stay._

  
°°°

"You're going to miss me crashing Aaron, bro" Moyo almost shouted towards Robbe as soon as they passed through the canteen entrance, letting a laugh slip, continuing his way to the main door, with Aaron following behind him, still trying to climb on his back without any success.

Robbe shook his head amusingly, even if the two boys were already out of sight. They were something. And of course they would spend another night in the room playing games. That was all they did. That and participate in all the parties that would usually happen on Friday nights. 

He quickly turned the corner, hugging his book closer to his chest, walking down the long corridor that gave access to the school library. And, if last week, Robbe was more than ready to give up turning over notes and more notes and follow behind his friends to the dorm where he could spend the whole night relaxing, this time he was determined to read, review and understand every little word. As long as it took. 

He was there to stay. No matter who liked it or not. 

And if it meant that he would have to work triple the rest of the students, then that was exactly what he would do. 

Be at the top. At all costs. Right? That was Eastwood Liberty's philosophy. And Robbe was just starting to learn it.

Driving his feet down the long corridor, he quickly began to slow his pace as his eyes landed on the two older boys sitting on the parapet of one of the huge windows fixed to the left wall, just casually talking to each other.

This was the last thing Robbe needed right now.

He didn't have to tilt his head to the side, a short glance over his shoulder, to know that there was no other student around. The peaceful silence, except for the indescribable conversation between the two boys, delivered that already. 

But that was normal. 

Most of them would still be in the cafeteria, enjoying their dinner calmly, in the middle of laughter and loud conversation. And the other part would already be inside their respective room, only passing the time until they were tired enough to go to bed at last. 

The students wouldn't come to the library at this time of night. 

Well, except Robbe. 

But that was fine for him. It was one of the few moments where he could be alone in that school. And to study, it was even better. He could focus all his attention on the books in front of him, without having anything to distract him. No voices. No low breaths. No turning of pages. It was just him. And he enjoyed it.

He just wanted to be able to step inside the big room, the smell of old books invading his nose, without having to be stopped before he could even get through the little wooden door. 

But from the way Senne and Luka had stopped talking, turning their eyes to Robbe, keeping them like this until he got close enough to the place where they were, he knew that this wouldn't work in his favor. 

At least, he hoped that it could be nothing more than a simple sour exchange of words. He could handle it. He could deal with them. He had done it before. Over and over again. Sander? That was a different story. That boy knew how to infiltrate under his skin, always bringing the worst in him. But he wasn't even close to being seen.

"Look if it's not my favorite person," Luka said loudly, coming down quickly from the window sill.

About three steps ahead and he and Senne were standing right in front of him, keeping him from continuing his way. 

_Deep sigh. They just wanted to disturb you. Don't give them that. Don't let them win. Just this one time._

"You shouldn't walk alone," Luka said again, a debauchery smile on his face, "Little Red Riding Hood did that and look what happened to her."

Robbe was trying to stay serious. He really was. Just listen, ignore and wait for them to get tired, so he could follow with whatever he had gone there to do. 

But serious? Little Red Riding Hood? What was he? Ten? 

He couldn't stop the low laugh that escaped from his lips, bowing his eyebrows in a perfect arc, when he fought back, "And who are you supposed to be?" Robbe leaned his chin slightly up in a pose he had already seen Sander do for multiple times when he was trying to intimidate him, staring at Luka with fierce eyes, adding, "The big bad wolf? You'd look good with the tail and stuff, don't get me wrong".

Two could play that childish game. 

"Whatever," Luka's voice cut through the air again, "Where are you even going?"

Robbe threw a confused look at him, narrowing his eyes, then looking between the two boys. He seemed to be genuinely asking. Of rhetoric, that question had nothing. 

Cleverness was something that definitely didn't prevail on those sides. Wasn't it obvious? 

Stretching his right arm in front of them, Robbe raised the book he had been holding until then, pointing to something behind them, answering his question, his tone edging the sarcastic, "Do you see that door down there? It says library, but it's okay, you're probably still learning to read," a pause, another cynical smile, "I'm holding a book, in a hallway that only gives access to the library... you can do the maths, but I'm pretty sure that's where I'm going."

There was a moment of silence as Robbe finished talking and he watched them face each other.

Senne had been disturbingly quiet so far, letting Luka lead the conversation, just smiling from where he was with the exchange of words. 

But it couldn't last long. 

Nothing ever did with them.

In a single sudden move, Senne took a step forward, closing the distance between the two of them, plucking his book from his hands quickly, lifting it above his head, out of Robbe's reach. 

He could only think for himself. Not this again. 

They seemed like little children who had found their new favorite toy to keep them entertained.

"Don't you two have anything else to do?" Robbe asked, trying to look a lot calmer than he felt.

They wanted to see him upset. He wouldn't give it to them. Or at least, he hoped he wouldn't.

"Not really," Senne fought back quickly, lowering Robbe's book closer to his own face, so he could pass his eyes by the title, "Biology, huh?"

So, Senne could read. Guess he was the smartest of the duo. 

Robbe just kept silent, while he watched the other boy pass his finger through the numerous pages, leafing through them slowly.

"I heard you're not doing so well in this discipline."

Of course they would know. Everything at Eastwood seemed to run too fast. 

Why did Senne even care? That was Robbe's question.

But, once again, they'd been pretty clear with him since he'd gotten there.

He didn't belong there. And they definitely didn't want him to belong.

Their intentions were clear as water. 

Robbe going bad in any way, that was good news for them. He was sure. 

Part of him didn't want to react to Senne's comment. Mainly, because he had a point. It was true. He was having trouble keeping up with the others. And it seemed that they had all realized that. And to answer back would give him the final confirmation that he cared. But the other part of him, the smaller part, wanted to refute that it wasn't his fault. That that school seemed to be holding something against him. No matter how hard he tried to belong. 

Both ways would probably end the same way. With Senne pulling out the exact answer he wanted to hear from Robbe's mouth. So why did he even care in the first place? 

Taking a deep breath, Robbe threw into the air, hoping the words would sound as proud as they sounded in his head, "I was offered to come in here, remember? That's what a good ranking at school does to you. Your parents probably had to disburse a few thousand. So who's really losing?"

Robbe. He was the only one who was losing. In a school like that, he was the only one who was losing. And he knew it. But he could just pretend. 

Next to Senne, Luka let out a bitter laugh. He had been quiet for a few minutes. Robbe had almost forgotten his presence there. It looked like the two friends were taking their turn with him. Each one taking their time.

"And here comes the charity talk again. You look proud of it."

The words cut deep through Robbe's skin. Why wouldn't he be?

"Charity or not, I had my own merit. I came in here because of my grades. Can you two say the same?" Robbe fought back, sharper than Luka had been just seconds ago.

He was a little tired of that whole deserving or not deserving conversation. He couldn't lie. It always ended in the same thing. They could not like having him there as much as they wanted, that still wouldn't take away from him that he had been the one to conquer that. Even if at first he was reticent about joining Eastwood. 

"You still think you're here because of your grades, don't you?" 

Luka's voice spoke again. Louder this time. Maybe a little too loud for a practically empty hallway, except for the three boys, staring at each other, without making a single move to get out of their places.

Well, of course. What did that even mean?

"Why else would I be here for?" 

Robbe noticed the exchange of glances between the two boys. Debatant glances. Almost like deliberating the next move.

And he didn't waste a second, not when the opportunity was right there. Taking advantage of Senne's distraction, Robbe took a step toward his body, trying to grab his book from his hands, but Senne moved faster, carelessly closing the book and taking it out of Robbe's reach. Once again. 

"Just give it back to me," Robbe spat much more seriously.

They'd been at it for about ten minutes. And he just wanted to be able to go to the quiet of the library and be able to do his things without anyone to bother him. 

But Senne was being difficult.

However, not as hard as Sander. 

And he had been in that same situation.

If he had managed to deal with Sander, he could fucking deal with his friend. 

And, this time, there were no employees to threaten him with warnings and calls to the Principal. 

"Oh, come on, IJzermans, we're just having fun," Senne had the nerve to say in the middle of laughter. 

Well, Robbe didn't want to be a part of their games. And he didn't have to.

One last time, Robbe climbed on his tiptoes, stretching his arm as high as he could toward the book, watching Senne have his fun with it. 

But then, the smug smile abandoned the boy's face, bringing him a much more rigid look.

A mere second later, Senne was handing the heavy biology book back into Robbe's hands, leaving him more confused than ever. 

Next to Senne, Luka had also stopped laughing, focusing his attention on something behind Robbe.

Or rather, someone.

"Hey, man," Luka was the first to dare to speak. Suddenly, his voice sounded uncertain. And Robbe just wanted to laugh at the expression on his face. But he knew better than to bring the focus back to him. 

A few more seconds of silence, the only noise filling the corridor belonging to hard and heavy steps. Soon after, Robbe watched from the corner of his eye Sander stopping right beside him, in front of the other two. 

As if Senne and Luka weren't enough. 

Robbe was already getting ready for the next hit of the newly arrived boy he knew would come. But instead, he saw Sander taking his right hand out of his jeans pocket, proceeding to greet each of his friends with a quick handshake, completely ignoring the presence of the smaller brunet there, still waiting for it to end so that he would be able to continue his way. 

Clearing his throat, Senne asked, still shaking Sander's hand, "I thought you were busy tonight."

"Change of plans."

Sander was short on his answer. The words coming out dragged from his lips. 

Robbe couldn't, for nothing, explain the relationship between them, even if he tried. Even with Jens. Sometimes, it seemed they were all united with the same goal. And, others, it almost seemed like each of them was ready to throw their hands around each other's necks. He couldn't decipher. They would stand up for each other, even if it wasn't right most of the time. And, other times, it was each one for himself. Even if Sander always seemed to be the one leading the way. The others just following behind. It was hard to find one of them alone, by himself. They always seemed to be together. Sometimes, next to each other. Sometimes, in a less visible corner. But always together. 

In a certain way, they seemed close. Like brothers. The "I have you and you have me" kind of thing. 

But there was something wrong too. And Robbe had seen it more than once to understand it was there. 

Senne and Luka would act out the way Sander wanted. Senne was more silent than the others, more in his own quietness. While Luka, he was more challenging. Dashing. He would oppose Sander. And then, other times, he would be intimidated by him. And Jens? Jens was something totally different. He and Sander seemed to be the closest to each other, Jens being the one who understood him best. Who knew him better than anyone. 

It had happened multiple times. Just thrown around in the middle of casual conversations. Robbe would ask him, disguising the truth of the matter with a funny laugh, why someone like him, good and easy, would ever want to get along with someone like Sander, presumptuous and controlling. Jens would push the issue aside, simply stating that the older boy wasn't that bad at all. That he was good to him. That he had always been good to him. From the moment he had entered the first year in that school, a few months ago. Sander had invited him to a private third grade party. Of course, Jens had gotten excited. A little proud too. He had been the first in his class to get entrance to the much talked about parties. And then Sander had allowed him to bring any friends he wanted. It had been fun nights, he had told Robbe. And, finally, Sander had brought him to his group, keeping him by his side ever since. 

They seemed to treat each other with respect. 

But they would also push each other to the limit. 

And that, that's what Robbe didn't understand. 

And he hated that he was even a little curious to know what the deal between them was. 

"Shouldn't you two be taking care of things for next week?" Sander spoke up again, looking between the two friends, adding, "If we leave it to Peeters, he'll only end up picking the worst place. We can't let that happen, right?"

Robbe watched Senne and Luka nod. Whatever it was they were talking about. And wasn't Mr. Peeters the PE teacher?

"Yeah, you're right," Senne was the first to answer, "I've been checking out some cool places, I think everyone will like it."

Luka dropped his arms, which were previously crossed in front of his chest, on the side of his body, finally moving his feet. 

Senne followed behind him, but not without stopping on Sander's side, taking one of his hands to his left shoulder, squeezing him lightly, "I'll see you later?"

Robbe watched Sander nod, muttering a low "sure, see ya".

And with that, the two boys finally left, leaving Robbe behind, alone with Sander. 

He didn't know if he was relieved or alarmed.

The last time they had been both alone, had been at the party last Friday. Sander had given him a ride back to the dorms. It had been a weird trip. With Robbe finally confessing to the older boy why he had accepted that scholarship. To Sander, of all people. 

It had also ended with him wiping some tears from his face, after some twisted realization. That he wasn't even ready to admit to himself. 

But that didn't matter. 

What mattered was the book stuck in his arms. 

He should be focusing on it.

Not on some emerald green eyes and cold tone.

"Is everything okay?" 

Sander's question caught him off guard.

Mostly because it seemed genuine. 

But he had learned the worst way that Sander and genuine was always followed by something else.

Robbe pointed with his head to the door in the background, casually saying, "I was going to the library."

The older boy nodded slowly. 

He was giving Robbe room to go his way. But, for some reason, his feet didn't seem to want to move. And now they were staring at each other, not saying a word, just strangely standing in the middle of that hallway. 

It was a pleasant silence. But Robbe knew that he had to force himself to get out of there at some point. They wouldn't stay there forever. 

"So, hmm," he began slowly, the words leaving his mouth more clumsy than he thought they would, "I think I'll go then... to the library."

He didn't lose the small half smile that came out of the corners of Sander's lips. 

Sander liked that. He liked the effect he had on Robbe. That he made him nervous. That he was able to crawl under his skin. He liked that. That smile delivered him each time. 

His eyes looked for Robbe's again. His voice came out much lower than before, much softer, when he hit back, "Hmm... you should go."

Throwing a small "okay," Robbe turned quickly before he could lose the control over his own body again. So quickly, he stumbled over one of his feet. Fortunately, he was able to balance himself immediately, keeping him from falling right there. Under Sander's attentive eyes. 

With a small glimpse over his shoulder, Robbe watched Sander let slip a playful smile. 

The brunet would put the blame on him, if he could. Whenever they were less than two steps away from each other, it was as if he lost all his composure. All the fucking time. 

Straightening his bag on his shoulder, Robbe continued his way. In slow steps. Because he could still hear Sander's calm breathing. Still standing in the same place where he had left him only seconds ago.

"Hey, Robbe?"

The older boy got his attention again, making him stop in his way, turning back again.

"What?"

Driving his gaze away from Robbe's, Sander ran his eyes through him, pausing at last in his hands. Or rather, what he was holding in his hands. 

"Don't pressure yourself too much, okay?"

And, with that, he finally turned his back and began to leave.

Robbe witnessed him going from where he was standing. Turning the corner, he stopped seeing him anymore. 

He was still holding his biology book in his hands. The same book that Sander had looked at.

Don't pressure yourself too much.

Robbe enjoyed breaking everything Sander told him to do just for fun.

Because he liked to see the annoying frown stamped on his face.

But this time, it wasn't because of the satisfaction of challenging him.

It was because he needed to.

  
°°°

"Who still wears that, right?" 

Amber's voice sounded strident on Robbe's side. 

He just nodded. 

That talk had lasted for most of the dinner. And, honestly, Robbe had already gotten lost in the words a long time ago.

Why did Amber think he'd even care about some floral stamped skirts from a brand he hadn't even heard of before? She had tried her luck with her boyfriend, Aaron, but even he didn't seem to want to listen about it. He had left her a soft kiss on her cheek, hoping that it would be enough for her not to be upset by his lack of attention, summing up his conversation with Moyo, sitting in front of him, something about wanting to start making some investments of his own. As if Robbe understood. And, of course, it was left for him in the end.

Moving her phone away from Robbe's face, Amber kept running her finger through the different posts in her instagram. 

"Who cares, Amber?" Jana spoke for the first time of what seemed like hours since the group had sat at their usual table. 

It seemed that Robbe hadn't been the only one there to get bored with the conversation from the way Jana rolled her eyes, then grabbed the small glass bottle of water, taking a quick sip. 

Then, in a sudden move, he watched her look around the table with a giant smile starting to form on her lips.

"Let's talk about what really matters," Jana said animatedly, "Do you all see what's going on here?"

Robbe noticed Luca and Britt, sitting on either side of her, giving her a confused look, hoping the girl would finally step forward and explain herself. 

Being completely honest, Robbe had no idea what Jana was talking about either.

On Robbe's right side, Yasmina started by explaining, seeing that none of them were able to state the obvious, "Zoë is not here".

"Yeah," Luca fought back quickly with a muffled laugh, "I think we all noticed that."

"Wait," Yasmina said, "You didn't let me finish," with a certain sparkle in her eyes, something close to pride, maybe, she added, "You know who else isn't here?"

Britt was the first to respond with a nod, finally realizing where Jana had wanted to go before, "Senne."

In an instinctive reflex, Robbe slightly turned his body in his chair, at the same time Amber did the same. 

If the aim was to be discreet, they had definitely not achieved it. 

Robbe didn't even understand why he had been so quick to do it. Zoë was his friend. Or someone he talked to, something like that. But he was not really in her business. Especially, her business with Senne. 

But he still did that. 

Something inside him was telling him that it was just an excuse for him to finally do what he had been thinking since his eyes had gotten a glimpse of platinum blond strands, sitting at the usual table, surrounded by his friends. 

And Jana and Yasmina were right. Senne wasn't there.

Not that Robbe cared. His body hadn't made him turn around with the intention of looking for him.

He was looking for someone else. And as soon as his eyes crossed his, a long chill ran down his spine, noticing Sander already glancing back at him.

His lips were half open, but he wasn't entirely smiling. Even if Robbe was able to notice a subtle little smile starting to appear. He was staring at him in a challenging way.

And, then, in a quick motion, Sander had the effrontery to wink at him. 

Just like that.

Robbe felt his cheeks instantly burning under his skin and he quickly averted his gaze, straightening again in his chair. It had been a mere second. But there was no way he was going to let Sander see him blush because of him. The boy would use it against him, with all certainty. 

"What was that?" Amber immediately questioned, almost jumping out of her chair with how excited she looked, "Sander just winked at you."

Robbe looked at her, his face still a little red, bouncing in a defensive tone, "What? No, he didn't."

"Yes, he did," the girl insisted again, clearly not understanding why he wasn't jumping around with the simple gesture, "And he was looking at you the whole time."

"Robbe, focus," Aaron's head appeared on Amber's side, now giving all his attention to the conversation that was happening, "We already lost Jens to him. We're not going to lose you, too."

That earned him some laughs from Moyo and Luca and a eye roll from Jana. Robbe? He was just staring at them in confusion. 

_What? Who was going to lose who?_

And since when had Robbe become the subject? Hadn't that started with Zoë?

"Are you two friends now or something?" Luca asked curiously. 

Friends. Robbe wanted to laugh. If there was one thing he and Sander weren't, were friends.

And he was ready to throw it, but Moyo went faster, rubbing his hands together with a playful smile, "Sander gave him a ride back after the party on Friday."

Amber's little scream of surprise almost made Robbe want to grab his tray and come up with some lame excuse that he had to do something else. And now he wanted to curse his own friends for it. Next time, he would just tell Moyo and Aaron that he had walked all the way back. Alone. 

"Imagine the Sander Driesen giving you a ride," Amber said, putting more emphasis on "the", covering her mouth with her hand. 

What was so wonderful about it? 

Robbe seriously wanted to understand what everyone's deal was with the boy.

Sander Driesen this. Sander Driesen that.

He would have handed over that ride in a heartbeat to whoever wanted it. 

Well, maybe not. But that was because his body worked slower than his mind sometimes. 

He knew what was bad for him. But he would still go for it, if he could.

But that wasn't what mattered there. What mattered was that the group didn't seem to want to leave the subject aside, continuing to flood him with more and more questions. And Robbe didn't know how to escape that interrogation.

"Okay, but what does his car smell like?" Amber's voice stood out above everyone, a little too lively for the kind of question she was asking.

Really? What did his car smell like? Was that her priority?

Robbe's eyes wanted to roll over for how strange that question had been. While his mouth wanted to shout that it smelled like mint and fresh. And clean. Just like Sander. It was a good smell. It was. Simple, kind of intoxicating. But it was good. 

But he just chose the first option. It was easier than having to explain why the hell he had decorated his smell. Or his stuff. Whatever. 

Fortunately, Yasmina spoke for him, gaining everyone's attention at the table, "What does it matter what his car smells like? He's an asshole."

Robbe wanted to throw a smile in her direction.

Yasmina was considered one of the most intelligent there for some reason. 

She knew.

"But that's just his image," Amber refuted back.

"Amber, please," Yasmina insisted, "Being an asshole is not a brand."

Clearing his throat, Robbe finally intervened, after all, it had started because of him, "He's an asshole because he enjoys it".

Now Amber was looking at him. All the others were just looking between them, finding entertainment in the conversation. 

Her voice rose unexpectedly, with a little laugh at the end, "Well, you still got a ride from that asshole."

"Just because I didn't want to walk all the way back."

So, that wasn't entirely false. 

He was really tired. 

And he wanted to have a little time alone with Sander, even for a few minutes.

But they didn't need to know the last one.

Even Robbe didn't understand.

Maybe he just enjoyed the challenge. Play the game. See how far they could go without throwing spat words at each other. 

That was it. He liked the challenge. He definitely didn't like Sander. Just the idea of him. 

"I mean," Robbe spoke up again, narrowing his eyes, "Being honest now, do any of you even like him?"

He watched each of them look around, not really knowing what to say. 

Aaron moved forward to be the first to answer, a little uncertain of his response, "We respect him."

Of course they did. Robbe already knew that. Everybody there did it. 

But underneath it all, it was the same situation?

"Respecting someone and liking that person are two different things," he spit out the words, adding, "Without the parties, the money, the reputation, he'd still be someone you wanted to be friends with?"

"Probably not."

The short answer had been enough for Robbe. 

But Aaron hadn't finished yet, adding almost involuntarily, "But you can't just put that aside. He has all these things and it's hard to know what he'd be like without it. Besides, he's not so bad."

The rest of the group, except Yasmina, murmured in agreement. 

"I'm not saying he's the worst," Yasmina said, speaking calmly, "I'm just saying he could work a little bit on himself. He won't be at Eastwood forever. Him, Luka, Senne. Jens not that much. But they need to grow up at some point."

This time, Robbe was the only one who agreed. 

A few seconds of silence. 

And then Luca's voice emerged, snorting, "This conversation is getting a little too deep." 

Well, for Robbe as well. 

He didn't like to think about the ifs.

What if Sander was different? What if, in another universe, he would have been good to him from the beginning?

Would Robbe still feel being pulled towards him the way he feels now?

He liked to think about it. The universe. Or rather, all the others that existed beyond this one. If they existed. Time and space finding themselves in a new dimension.

It was bizarre to think about that. That there could be another version of himself somewhere else. A version that had never put a foot in that place. A version where his mother was still healthy. One where his parents were still together and happy. As unreachable as it sounded. 

Maybe a version where he wouldn't feel scared to fall for him. Because everything would be different.

There were many things in between. But, for some stupid reason, he didn't hate this universe where he was. At all. Even if he had cursed it many times before. 

It just made him anxious. Sitting there and thinking about all the different possibilities. Some that would probably never happen.

Definitely those were not thoughts for a Thursday dinner. In the cafeteria, from all places. And not with all of his friends around him, continuing with their loud conversations and laughter.

"At least it's Friday tomorrow," he heard Moyo say with a deep sigh. 

"Fucking finally," Aaron agreed with him quickly.

Robbe would have to be the only person in that whole school who wasn't extremely excited about the weekend approaching. Of course, he also wish he could relax and not have to think about how early he would have to get up the next morning. 

But weekends at Eastwood were usually synonymous with silence. 

Silence and sitting alone in the cafeteria. 

Robbe didn't mind having time for himself, but sometimes it could get quiet. Too quiet.

Whenever Moyo and Aaron decided to stay, it wasn't so bad. They would do their assignments on Saturday afternoons and play video games and marathon series all Sunday. They were a good company. And he liked to spend time with them.

The girls usually never stayed. Robbe had met Yasmina in his second week there. It was one time. Just like him, she had taken occupancy of the school library, choosing a table right in the back of the room, leaning against a big window. They had studied together that day and Yasmina had taken her time to review with Robbe all the material they had given that week. And that was the time. He never saw her there again in a weekend. 

Jens never stayed either. He liked to go back home because of his little sister. She always wanted to see him, and he was more than happy to take her requests. 

So Moyo and Aaron were his only company. And by the big half open bags lying on the dorm floor next to each of the boys' beds, Robbe knew they wouldn't stay in this one. 

Lucky for him, Moyo always left his Xbox in the bedroom, claiming he had another one in his house and that Robbe could use that one whenever he wanted.

Better than sitting and looking at the walls all day long. 

He couldn't even take a walk outside the giant gates. Either the parents or guardians would pick them up, or the students were not allowed to leave the school grounds without a plausible justification. Third graders were allowed to leave by themselves, most of them already had their own cars, fancy ones parked along a perimeter behind the main building. He had seen it when Sander had taken him back from the party.

"Can we go now? Jill has some clothes in her room that she wants us to see," Amber questioned loudly from Robbe's side, cutting out his thoughts. 

He watched each of them get up from their chairs and grab the trays in their hands. So he did exactly the same, following behind them to the designated area to land them, in the back of the room on a series of metal shelves. 

Going back at the table where they had been sitting to go grab the bags wrapped around the back of the chairs, Robbe threw a new look at the table in the center of the room, with the same three boys still sitting back relaxed, busy with some conversation. He just didn't expect Jens to notice him staring, lifting his right hand a little in a small nod. 

And maybe, Robbe took that as an excuse to get closer to their table. 

With a murmur in Moyo's direction which was right beside him, something close to "I'll meet you in the room", he worked his feet fast towards the table, before he could even think of going back. 

Swallowing against the knot in his throat, Robbe said, sticking his trembling hands in the pockets of his school uniform pants, "Hey."

His greeting had been addressed to Jens and he waited for the boy to realize this, since his eyes were everywhere, but on him. On the floor, on the chair in front of him, on the table. 

Anything that would prevent him from looking at the boy sitting next to Jens. Even if he was the reason he went there in the first place. 

But Robbe quickly got himself together, finally staring at Jens when he threw a greeting back, a shy smile on his lips. 

"Do you want to sit?" 

Jens' question caught Robbe off guard. 

No, he didn't want to sit. He was fine standing on his feet. He could leave faster this way. If he needed to.

He shook his head, trying to think of something to say. He had been dumb to go there without forming something in his head first. 

"Jens, come on," Sander said. Robbe could hear the smile in his voice, when he added, "It wouldn't look good for us."

Of course, Luka had to start laughing on his side. But he was alone in this, without his laughing partner, Senne, on his side. 

Jens didn't look so happy. Not when he practically growled Sander's name. In a low, almost inaudible murmur to Robbe. Almost.

"What?" The older boy refuted, still holding the same vicious smile on his face, "I'm just kidding, take it easy."

Shifting his attention back to Robbe, who still looked nervous in front of them, restlessly moving his right foot on the floor, drawing small circles, Sander continued, in a much softer tone, "You can sit if you want to."

Robbe almost narrowed his eyes in his direction. 

Of course. What did Sander have in mind? Push the chair with his foot as soon as Robbe got ready to sit down? Not at all.

"Okay, this is my cue" Luka spoke for the first time, dragging his chair on the floor with a shrill sound, grabbing his tray, clearly trying not to laugh, "I'm out. You two should really work on it."

And, with that, he threw his bag over his shoulder, walking away from the table.

Robbe was beginning to understand them less and less every day. Luka leaving like this without any kind of joke spat in his direction? Of course. 

Looking between the two boys again, he watched them still staring at him, without saying anything.

Right. He had been the only one to go to them. And now he needed to think fast.

"So, umm... I just wanted to, you know" Robbe tried to force the words out of his mouth. 

Quick, think of something.

Almost like a sign offered to him, he noticed Jens' bag spread over the table in the space he was occupying. The clasp was slightly open. And peeking inside, was the book in shades of green and blue that Robbe knew so well. 

"Biology," he almost shouted, crossing glances with Jens, leaving him a little confused, "You know I did really bad in that essay... and with the exams coming and the new assignments we have to delivered, I was thinking we could study tomorrow afternoon."

What a lame excuse. Robbe wanted to slap his own forehead.

He and Jens already used to study together. It was not something new. And he knew that all he had to do was send him a text and he would be at the library in less than 20 minutes, ready to help him.

He didn't have to come all the way over here just to ask him that.

But if Jens noticed something weird going on there, he certainly didn't show it, giving him an open smile and a nod, "Sure. I have all afternoon free, you can just text me whenever you want to. Or we can see that tomorrow after classes. "

Tomorrow after classes. Because obviously they were in the same class. And that only served to reinforce that Robbe could have perfectly spoken to him tomorrow. Fuck, he was so bad at thinking of excuses.

And now he had to go to study with Jens tomorrow. Not that he minded. At least, the lame excuse he had offered had been something that ultimately benefited him.

"Okay, sure ... guess I'm gonna go now," Robbe awkwardly said.

He was ready to throw a "see you tomorrow, then", walking away from them in hurried steps, but Sander was quicker, pushing his body out of the chair and pressing his elbows on the table firmly, "If you need more stuff, notes and all that, you can just ask."

Robbe nodded slowly.

"Okay, thanks for that."

Sander's eyes followed Robbe's, an indescribable glow reflecting inside them, "You had already thanked."

And he would do it again.

That had actually been a nice thing. The things that Sander had given him. They were useful and he had been making good use of them. Why had the older boy done this? Robbe had yet to get an explanation about that.

But he had given up on that. Sander had been nice to him. And he would hold on to it without questioning more.

"I'm leaving, then," Robbe said, not really seeing any other reason why he would still be there.

The two boys nodded this time.

And, with one last look in their direction and one last "see you tomorrow" for Jens, he turned away, walking towards the big canteen door.

That was what he was talking about.

The constant back and forth. Pull and push.

The line between him and Sander was starting to look more blurred each day.

And Robbe's big problem was that his feelings for Sander were far from being blurred.

At least, for him.

And he couldn't just shake off that feeling. Even if he tried.

  
°°°

"What is it gonna be for you?"

Robbe leaned his head up from where he was sitting, to be able to look at Jens that was hovering above him, his hands resting on the shoulders of his chair, saying, "Coffee is fine."

He watched the boy nodding, then disappearing towards the small bar a few steps away from their table. 

They had followed there straight from the library, where they had spent most of their afternoon. Studying. Just as Robbe had asked him yesterday in the cafeteria. 

It had been exhausting. He couldn't deny it. They had spent about three hours clinging to books, trying to understand the words over and over again. So, when Jens had suggested going to the school bar before they both broke paths and went to their respective rooms, Robbe had been quick to accept. He could really use some coffee.

Robbe was keeping himself entertained while waiting for Jens, looking around the small space. He felt comfortable. Different from everything there at Eastwood. There were only about five round tables spread around the center of the room, and a yellow couch adorning the deepest corner. On the right side, a long counter with all the essential supplements. The boy on the other side of the counter, working his fingers fast on a small red coffee machine, looked young. Probably some student. 

He couldn't really explain it. Maybe it was the colors. Orange mixed with red and yellow, little pieces of blue. But everything in that space looked nice. And Robbe had no idea why he hadn't found it before. 

"Coffee for you," Jens' sudden voice cut through his little observations, the search for new details. 

He threw his eyes in his direction, watching Jens put a cup of burning coffee in front of him, still holding in one of his hands what looked like a cup of tea, then taking the chair right next to his, bringing his body forward, his elbows firmly resting on the table.

Robbe tried not to think about their knees that were now touching each other under the table. He really tried. He tried not to think about how, for some reason, he just wanted to drag his feet a little more to the side and break the touch. But he didn't. Instead, he smiled, muttering a low "thank you".

"So, Friday, uh?" Jens said, adding with a teasing smile, "What are your plans for the weekend?"

Robbe threw his head to the side, pretending to think of something. 

Jens knew exactly what his plans were. They were always the same. Studying, doing some homework, watching some movies, playing games, and then all over again. 

"A very full agenda, my friend" Robbe raised his cup in his hand, lifting his pinkie in an exquisite pose, trying his best imitation, "Family lunch on Saturday, business dinner on Sunday. Maybe some fundraising gala in the middle".

He watched Jens giggle, "Is that what you think we do?" 

Robbe shrugged, raising one of his eyebrows, "I don't know. What rich people can possibly do more?" 

He was just kidding. And he hoped Jens wouldn't be offended by the way he was talking.

In his defense, the amusing expression on the other boy's face looked anything but offended. 

"I'm not saying no to family lunches on Saturdays," Jens said, throwing his hands in the air, "But you can't forget about adventure parks too. Those are fun."

"Okay, these are fun," Robbe nodded, agreeing with him. 

Taking his cup of coffee to his lips, he took a small sip, letting the liquid burn through his throat. 

"Maybe I can take you to one someday."

Robbe tried to ignore the suggestive tone in Jens' voice as best he could, forcing his head to nod. 

It wasn't that there was anything wrong with what he said. Friends hang out together. That was nothing new. It was just the way he had said it. And, especially, the way he had pulled his body further forward towards the table. And, also, towards Robbe. 

If Jens had got a little closer, Robbe was sure he would be able to feel his warm breath on his skin.

They were too close. And Robbe fought against the desire to pull himself back, keeping a safe distance between them.

Whatever Jens' intentions were, the intense glow in his eyes, fixed on his, left nothing to lose. Crystal clear. Too clear. 

And, then, in a sudden movement, a mere second, he brought his face close to Robbe, closing his eyes slowly. 

It happened too fast. 

But Robbe was faster. Pushing himself abruptly towards the back of the chair, finally putting some distance between them. 

His eyes were still caught in Jens' and he noticed the boy's cheeks starting to get a little red, clearly embarrassed by the manner Robbe had gotten away from him.

Fuck, that wasn't his intention. It really wasn't. 

It had all just been so sudden.

Besides, that wasn't something he wanted.

There was a moment of silence. 

Robbe was supposed to say something, anything, but he didn't know what. The words seemed to be stuck in his throat. 

Jens wasn't talking either. Keeping his eyes down on the table.

And now Robbe was feeling terrible about himself. He shouldn't, right?

"Look, I," he forced the words out of his mouth, not wanting to prolong that uncomfortable silence for much longer, "I didn't want--"

Jens quickly cut what Robbe was about to say, still looking everywhere but at him, his voice clumsy, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I just thought... forget that, please."

Robbe wished he could do that. Just forget it ever happened. That Jens, his friend, classmate Jens, had tried to kiss him just seconds ago. He really wished he could.

Mostly because Robbe liked him. Not in the same way he seemed to do. He liked him as a friend. And he didn't want it to make things weird between them. He had grown used to his presence since he had gotten there. He was not ready to let go of it.

"It's okay," Robbe shot, "I just wasn't counting on it."

Looking back at the party in the pool, and Jens' hand in his, and as he always seemed available to him, and last Friday, maybe he should. Have expected it. 

It had all been there, maybe Robbe was just too oblivious to notice.

"I'm sorry," Jens insisted again, finally tilting his head up, staring at him, "I think I just got it all wrong."

Yes, he had definitely got it all wrong.

But Robbe wouldn't throw that at him. He wasn't like that. He was far from being like that.

Instead, he took a step to make sure that the other boy realized that he wasn't mad at him. There was no reason for him to apologize. Clearly, that had been a misunderstanding. On Jens' part.

"It's okay," Robbe repeated.

It really was. 

"Can we just forget about this? I don't want us to be weird around each other." 

The pleading in Jens' voice almost made him feel bad about himself again, even though he knew it wasn't his fault.

So Robbe just nodded.

There were so many questions stuck on the tip of his tongue. Going through his head. And he wasn't even sure if he wanted to hear the answers to them. Especially, because it seemed he already had the answer for each of them.

In the end, actions spoke louder than words. 

And Jens' act had been no different.

Why did he even like him? Robbe had no idea. 

And honestly? He didn't want to hear it. At least, not now.

Not when he was still trying to process things.

He heard Jens clear his throat, asking in an almost inaudible tone, "Are we really okay?"

Robbe could offer him words of affirmation again. But instead, he took his hand to Jens's, still clumsily thrown on the small table, squeezing it gently.

He didn't lose how, with the unexpected movement, Jens seemed to want to run away with his hand at first, but then, finally relaxing under his touch.

He was nervous, Robbe could feel it. He could feel his shaky hand under his.

He had never seen Jens nervous.

Shy around him? Many times before. But even when he acted shy, he seemed confident.

And now he didn't look anymore.

Robbe applied a little more force to his grip, hoping that would be enough. 

There wasn't much more he could do. His feelings were clearly not reciprocated. 

And, then, a familiar voice calling for Jens appeared through the open door of the small bar, making Robbe quickly take his hand away from him.

With the intensity with which he had broken the touch, he had almost pushed out the table his coffee cup, holding it hurriedly before it fell, the hot liquid close to doing a damage.

He watched Jens pull himself together in a blink of an eye, also bringing his hand close to his body, leaning his head to the source of his voice. 

Robbe followed his movement, throwing his gaze to his right side, seeing Sander standing there, a few meters from their table, a big green bag thrown over his shoulder. 

With a few mere steps forward, the older boy was beside their table, facing them from above.

"Sander," he heard Jens breathing his name slowly, frozen in his chair.

Robbe waited for Sander to say something, tossing his body against the back of his chair, trying to remain relaxed against the guilty feeling stamped on his face. He had no idea why he was feeling this way. It wasn't as if he had done something he shouldn't have. Besides, why did he even care? 

Clearing his throat, Sander finally opened his mouth, saying, "Sorry if I interrupted something."

A pause. 

And Robbe didn't lose the ironic tone stuck in his voice. 

He didn't care at all if he was interrupting something.

For someone always trying to run away from his own feelings, Sander was far from being emotionless. 

"I'm going back today," the blond boy continued, shooting in Jens' direction, "I just wanted to see if you wanted a ride or not."

Robbe watched Jens finally face Sander back, still seeming a little overwhelmed by his own words when he responded:

"Hmm, of course, I was going to get a ride from Senne tomorrow, but if I could go back today it would be even better".

Sander nodded, " I'm leaving in a bit."

Robbe had been looking between them, trying to capture the tension that could be felt within their short distance.

If Sander had even noticed his presence there, he hadn't shown it.

"I just need to get my bag," Jens said, already starting to drag his chair back slightly, "And I'm ready to go," with a reluctant glance at Robbe, he added, "I'm sorry. We can talk another time, right?"

Robbe wasn't even sure if he was apologizing for having to leave or for the previous situation. Again. It seemed to be a mixture of the two. And, honestly, he was kind of thankful. Leaving that for another day would be the best thing to do. He couldn't lie and claim that he would enjoy sitting there with Jens right beside him, trying to continue their casual conversation, when, only five minutes ago, he was leaning his body towards him, eyes closed, full of intention. 

It would be embarrassing. And, fortunately, Robbe wouldn't have to deal with it. At least, not today. 

"Sure. I'll see you on Monday. Enjoy your weekend," he answered calmly, giving him one last look he hoped would pass that everything was really okay between them. Just like Jens, he didn't want anything to suddenly get weird.

Fuck, he really hoped it wouldn't.

Wishing the same back to Robbe, Jens hurried out of there. 

The brunet grabbed his coffee cup again, taking it to his lips, taking a small sip, trying to keep himself busy with something. Something so that he wouldn't stare at the other boy who hadn't yet made a single move to get out of there. 

And in a quick second, he watched Sander toss his bag sloppily to the ground, taking the place previously occupied by Jens, right next to him.

This time, his reflexes didn't tell him to move his feet away, so he could create a safe distance between them. Instead, he wanted to push himself closer. Much closer.

But that was too dangerous. And he knew that. 

"Hey you," Sander said, relaxing back in his chair.

Robbe almost wanted to curse his mind for wishing the older boy would bring his elbows over the table, the exact same position Jens had been in before. 

"Hey," Robbe threw back, his voice much lower than a moment ago, "You."

Raising his chin slightly up, Sander continued, what seemed to be a little smirk starting to break through his lips, "What are you drinking?"

Really? _What was he drinking?_

Sander never went near Robbe just for some casual conversation. 

Whatever was the reason he had stayed behind, sitting at the same table as him, it was definitely not to talk about something as banal as what he was drinking. 

But Robbe knew better than to question him, throwing back, "Coffee".

Short and direct. 

Just like Sander was so many times.

"He likes you, it's so fucking obvious."

Sander's statement caught Robbe completely off guard. Of all the things he could possibly say, that one was definitely not on his list. 

_What?_

" I don't," Robbe let slip almost in a scream without thinking about it. His body had become rigid in his chair, a little bent forward now. 

It hadn't been reflective. And he didn't even know why he had done it at all. He only knew that he wanted Sander to know that whatever he had sensed between him and Jens in that room, Robbe didn't feel the same.

Putting himself together again, the words coming out of his mouth much more peaceful this time, Robbe added, trying to make sense of what he was saying, "I mean, I don't... I don't feel, that," there were too many breaks in between and Sander was clearly enjoying his clumsy way, so Robbe just concluded, simple as that, "Me and Jens are just friends."

He wanted to not focus on the relieved glow that went through the emerald green eyes. But that had been hard to miss. 

And Robbe just stared at it, trying to decipher what was happening in Sander's mind at that very moment. 

Maybe he was only relieved because he didn't want his friend to be associated with him in any other way than friends. Friends was already more than enough.

In any way, Sander didn't seem upset at all with his answer. It seemed to be exactly what he wanted to hear. 

"Why not?"

His question caught Robbe off guard again. 

Why did Sander even care?

Acting as if he hadn't understood the previous question, Robbe murmured, almost inaudible, but loud enough for Sander to understand, "What?"

He just needed to make sure he had understood it right. Just so he wouldn't make a fool of himself, letting his mind play tricks on him. 

"Why don't you like him?" Sander repeated again, his words more precise this time, "I mean, he's a nice guy."

Robbe narrowed his eyes towards him. 

What did that even mean? 

Sander was confusing. Too confusing for his already messy head. 

And he didn't know what to say back. 

_You know, he's nice, but maybe, just maybe, he doesn't drive me insane like you do._

Definitely, not the truth. 

So he just shrugged. But Sander seemed ready to lead the whole conversation, Robbe's silence wasn't going to make him take a step back. 

"Is it because of someone back home?" The older boy insisted again. 

Sander's straightness was something that scared and fascinated Robbe. All at the same time. He didn't hold back words. Whatever he wanted to say, he would say it without thinking twice. And, if he needed to pluck the answers out of Robbe's mouth little by little, he would do just that. He had done it before. And he would do it again. 

Then, there was no point in trying to remain silent.

Biting his lower lip, a nervous habit he had developed, Robbe finally answered, "There's no one back home."

And that was the truth. 

Sure, he had had a little bit of fun here and there with random boys at parties. Nothing more than rough sessions of kissing against any wall they could find. Most of it was under pressure from his friends who wanted him to get lost for a while. As if being with strangers would erase what he had to come home to.

But that was it.

He couldn't really say that he had already been in love. 

With a playful smile on his lips, Sander released a muffled laugh, slowly bringing his body towards the small table, finally resting his elbows on the light wood, "Well, your line shouldn't be too big. You can't refuse anything, really".

He was just provoking him. Robbe could see that. So he gave him the exact same smile back.

"You don't know that."

Driving his tongue slowly down his lower lip, wetting it gently, Sander threw, "I know enough."

Were they even talking about the same thing still? Because it certainly didn't seem like it. The exchange of words had gone from zero to a hundred in the blink of an eye. 

No matter what, Robbe didn't believe it at all. There weren't many things he could claim to know about Sander. That was the truth. But he knew the older boy didn't know enough. Sander just wanted to keep telling himself that. Maybe if he acted enough, it could end up being real.

Sander had control. But how much of that was really just pretending?

Robbe could see right through him. He could see under his skin. What drove him mad. What made him act. 

He could see that. 

And it was all on the surface. Because Robbe wouldn't dare go beyond that. That imaginary line. Maybe he was just scared. Scared to face him without all that. Without the blank eyes. Without the luxury, the fancy cars, the status. Without the respect. 

A low vibration took Robbe out of his deep thoughts. He saw Sander reach into his black jeans pocket with one of his hands, grabbing his phone. 

Whatever it was he was looking at, he didn't look very pleased. 

In fact, he seemed frustrated. The little provocative smile of before abandoning his face, giving him a more harsh look.

He watched Sander type something fast with his fingers, stuffing his phone again in his jeans. 

"Jens is ready," he threw into the air, then getting up, grabbing the big green bag lost somewhere on the floor, near the table, "Guess I'm going."

Robbe nodded. What was he supposed to say? Enjoy your weekend? 

"Are you staying?" 

"Yes," Robbe said, adding with a muffled laugh, "I really don't have anywhere else to go."

Sander seemed to be thinking for a moment, quickly answering, "Right... I'll see you on Monday, then."

Robbe mumbled the same thing to him, but got lost there, with Sander already walking away, disappearing through the door seconds later.

Looking at the half drunk coffee cup on the table, probably already cold by then, he allowed himself to get lost in thoughts again. 

Here was the thing about Sander. He was impossibly annoying. And hard to keep up with. 

One day, he would act cold, hard as steel. Making Robbe run away from him.

And another, he would finally put down his mask, still daring, quieter. Pushing Robbe again. In quick steps. For him. 

It was confusing. And Robbe didn't know which way he should follow. Or if he should even pursue one. 

In both ways, he was fucked. And he didn't trust himself to choose. 


	6. Chapter 6

Robbe would normally enjoy the silence. The kind of silence that would allow him to get lost in his own thoughts. The quiet, comfortable silence. 

But not the silence that told him something was wrong. 

Especially, when he knew the reason behind it.

And now, there he was, a Monday morning, sitting in the usual chair, his eyes focusing every 5 seconds on the black watch wrapped around his wrist, watching the minutes go by slowly, trying not to blame himself, more than he had done, for the absence of the boy who would normally be sitting next to him, probably telling him some new story about his weekend and how his younger sisters would always take him in the most random ideas. 

But Jens wasn't there. And he was just sitting by himself. 

Jens had arrived in the classroom, along with the other students, right at the time of the class, something Robbe had never seen happening.

And when he had taken his place next to Robbe's, not even a nod or a look had been thrown between them.

Focusing on the lesson became a slightly more complicated task for Robbe, constantly throwing quick glances at the other boy, hoping he would eventually look back.

But that never happened.

So, as soon as the bell rang, indicating the end of the class and all the students started packing their things inside their bags, leaving the classroom, Robbe didn't miss a second going after Jens, sending some nod towards his friends, murmuring under his breath that he would find them later. 

To his own relief, Jens didn't seem to be ignoring him, pausing in the corridor and turning his body, as soon as Robbe called out his name, quickly walking in wide steps to the place where he was standing.

"Hey," Robbe said slightly out of breath.

Jens nodded back at him, whispering a quiet "hey". 

Robbe wasn't dumb. It was clear he knew something wasn't right. But considering what had happened last Friday, he wasn't too surprised.

"Is everything okay?" He started by saying, immediately gaining Jens' attention, "You didn't talk much in there." 

That was a euphemism. The tallest guy hadn't said a word to him. At all.

He watched Jens take his hand to his neck, rubbing his skin roughly, not really knowing what to answer back. He seemed nervous, if Robbe was being honest. 

After a while, he finally said, the somewhat clumsy words in his mouth, "I'm sorry. I don't really know why I did it. I guess I'm just..."

Jens cut himself, seeming to be finding the right word, adding, in a much lower, almost whispered tone, "Embarrassed, I guess."

Now Robbe felt bad that he pulled that out of him. But he couldn't just act as if there wasn't something wrong going on between them. 

Clearing his throat, Robbe said, using his best soft tone, not wanting his friend to feel that way, "Hey, we talked about this. I'm not upset with you... I mean, how could I be? I want you to keep being my friend."

He watched Jens nod, still looking quieter than usual. 

Robbe didn't blame him.

But he didn't want to lose what they had there, either. Jens had been one of the first people to help him there at that school, and he valued their friendship. More than the boy probably would have thought.

"I know," Jens let slip, pressing his lips together, "It's just, I didn't want to... I shouldn't..."

 _Try to kiss him._

He couldn't even finish the sentence. And, honestly, Robbe just wanted to hug him. 

He wouldn't do it though. Jens seemed nervous enough. 

Instead, Robbe continued, intervening again, "You said you didn't want things to get weird between us. I don't want that either, you know?"

That was sort of true. Of course, there would always be this weird part between them, reminding Robbe every second that... Jens was into him. 

Fuck, it was just as hard to say that even in his mind.

He didn't even understand why. But in his defense, he was ready to leave it past them and keep acting like they had always acted.

If Jens thought that he would suddenly get away from him, or start treating him in a different way, he really didn't know him.

That wasn't him. It had never been.

"I know," Jens replied, whispering, "I just don't want you to feel weird around me."

Robbe shook his head gently, trying a smile, seeing if this could be enough to make him understand that it was all right for him, those thoughts were only in Jens' head. If it depended on him, they would continue to get along as well, or even better, as they have up to now. 

Leaning his body slightly forward, Jens threw quickly, a bit too agitated, letting the words come out exasperated, "It's not as if I'm like... in love with you or anything, I'm not about to get down on one knee and ask you to marry me," shrugging slowly in an uncertain pose, he added, "It's just an interest, that's all. And I'm sure this will go away eventually."

Jens' gaze was almost begging, as if he was asking Robbe to believe him. 

Which he did. It didn't really go through his mind that it was more than that. 

Still, he couldn't let pass this opportunity to drop some joke around, seeing if he could break some, if not all, of the tension that still hovered over them.

Taking his hand to his chest, Robbe said, pretending an incredulous expression, "So, what you're trying to say is that there won't be any proposal? I always thought I was marriage material."

And just like that, he was able to see some of the pressure abandoning Jens' rigid shoulders. 

He wasn't sure if he'd managed to get those thoughts out of Jens' mind completely. 

What he knew was that they were standing in that hallway still and Robbe had been able to pluck the first smile from Jens' lips.

He could still look at Jens as a friend. And that was all he would focus on.

  
°°°

  
"Class," the teacher spoke loudly, drawing everyone's attention, letting out a heavy sigh "Everyone is more conversative than usual today. 

A chorus of apologies echoed through the giant gymnasium, the silence immediately replacing the loud laughter and indescribable conversations. 

Robbe crossed his legs over each other from where he was sitting on the floor, leading his focus to Mr. Peeters.

He could feel that everyone was more agitated than usual, clearly looking forward to what the teacher was about to say.  
  
"As some of you already know, Eastwood finances a school trip in this class every year," the older man began to explain, but as soon as the first words left his mouth, a loud murmur broke again, forcing him to clear his throat to get everyone's attention again, "As I was saying, this trip is for the purpose of reinforcing the students' contact with nature, team spirit, and physical exercise. This is usually treated in advance, but as you know, at the beginning of this year the principal decided to bring your two classes together for the availability of schedules. We both discussed this and against my will, he decided to cancel the trip because of the large number of students, refusing to finance more than the part that had been previously agreed upon," he paused and Robbe watched him aim with his head at Luka, sitting a few feet from him, next to Sander, Senne and Jens, continuing, "But then your colleague made me realize that this was not fair to you and you all know that Eastwood and us teachers always value our students."

Robbe wanted to laugh about that. _Eastwood always values the students?_ Sure. As long as they have something to offer back. 

"So, your colleague committed to help us make this trip a reality and we should all thank him for his effort," the teacher continued, "I'll pass the word to Mr. Lemmens now."

Robbe shifted his focus to Luka, watching him smile proudly, holding some papers in his hands. 

"Okay, so," Luka started by saying, looking around him, "Me and Senne got this amazing cabin in the mountains, it looks really good and there are a lot of things we can do. The trip shouldn't take too long, we checked on google maps and it should take what? Four hours?" He turned his head towards Senne who confirmed with a nod, "Four hours. That's good, right?"

"It looks good, yes... transportation is up to the school and we already got it all covered," the older man agreed, adding with one question, "What I really want to know is the situation of the stay. It's exactly how we talked about, right? Two separate rooms? I don't want any mix."

Luka let out a laugh, exchanging glances with Senne who had the exact same funny smile stamped on his face, quickly changing to a serious expression, faking his best behavior, "Mr. Peeters, I can assure you that we are all very respectful and that no sexual acts will happen inside that house... I can't promise you outside the house, though. Those mountains look quite appealing."

The whole class immediately burst into laughter, even the teacher couldn't no longer keep the serious line covering his lips, allowing his corners to rise slightly.

Robbe felt Aaron sticking his head in the middle of him and Moyo, asking in a quite suggestive tone, "Do you think Amber would want to, you know, in the mountains?"

He watched Moyo quickly take his hands to his face, letting out a little grunt, Dude, don't." 

"What?" Aaron questioned again with a confused look. 

Moyo looked at him as if it was the most obvious thing, "Nobody wants to hear about it".

Throwing his hands in the air defensively, Aaron threw an "all right", pushing his body back again. 

"All right, everybody," the professor said, calming down again the noise that had set in, "Let's get serious now. I know you're young and you only think about fun, but there have to be rules".

Robbe felt Moyo snorting from his side, throwing his head to the side boringly, muttering, "And here we go."

Interlacing his fingers in front of his body, adopting a more rigid pose, the older man continued, letting the words out slowly so everyone understood him clearly, "This isn't the first trip and every year I need to repeat the same thing, and yet every year we have the same problems. And I know you like to think that teachers don't understand anything that's going on, don't you?"

There was a few brief seconds of silence. Not a single voice was heard. 

Robbe kept his gaze on the older man, noticing the discreet movement of his chest, as if he was trying to contain a heavy sigh that threatened to come out. Which he probably was. Even the teacher seemed tired of his own words. 

With a quick look around him, he could see that nobody was really paying attention to what was being said. Maybe one or two students. But that was it. The rest either had their eyes focused on the ground, entertaining themselves with the clasps of the jackets of the physical education uniform, or looking at every corner except the tall man standing in the center, and some holding glances between them in a suggestive tone of unrevealed plans.  
  
"We stopped going through your things because we want to give you the benefit of the doubt and not treat you like little children," the teacher continued with his speech, against the lack of response from the class, "But you have to cooperate too. I'm talking about students disappearing from their rooms during the night," Mr. Peeters paused for a moment and Robbe watched him turn his head to the left, landing his gaze over the small group of four friends, finally catching their attention, throwing in a somewhat ironic way, "And some weird smoke inside the room that none of you can explain afterwards."

Sander and Luka found each other's gaze almost immediately, both lips in a thin line, clearly trying not to laugh, without much success.

Pushing his chin up, visibly not bothered at all by being in the center of attention, Sander contested, "It happened once and I told Luka to open the window, but he was cold. Not my fault".

"Right, Mr. Driesen, once" the teacher said, shaking his head slightly, only this time, his previous rigid expression was far from being seen, "And the last one, I assume, because we'll all follow the rules this time."

"I always follow the rules," the blond boy shot, keeping a half smirk in his mouth. 

Robbe remained with his eyes stuck on him, watching him look to both sides so he could join his friends and their low laughter.

 _I always follow the rules._ What a joke. He knew Sander was being his sarcastic self, but it was still laughable. 

Sander didn't follow the rules. He made them. 

And he seemed pretty proud of it.

"All right, class," the teacher's voice brought Robbe back again, making him look away quickly, "We've talked about the rules and I think everyone here understood them. Now let's talk about what you all want to hear". 

And just like that, he got all the attention back.

"The bus will leave in the late Friday afternoon. And before anyone asks me, you're not dismissed from morning classes. You have plenty of time to prepare everything, so don't leave it all until the last minute. As some of you already know, others don't, the part the school finances includes the stay and food, transportation stays on your own, nothing new".

Robbe watched as the teacher's eyes walked among all the students before stopping on him, " As a scholarship student, Mr. IJzermans, clearly your transportation is funded by the school."

He nodded quickly, trying to ignore the focus that had remained on him. He had no problem being addressed that way. On the contrary, he was grateful for the opportunity, regardless of his reluctance to join those students at first. But something in the way they had all stopped to look at him as if that situation was something unusual, made him feel different. 

And Robbe hated feeling that way. 

A loud voice, full of presumption, broke through the gym, interrupting any thought he was having at that moment. 

"It sounds unfair to me."

Robbe wish he could say he was surprised, but when he raised his head in the direction of the voice, his eyes immediately meeting Luka's, didn't come as any surprise to him.

Even more, he should have expected that. The same disparaging comments. The same tactic. Every time.

What came as a surprise to him, however, was the moment Sander's eyes crossed Luka's. Harsh eyes, catching his. Almost like a threat, making him take a quick step back, lowering his head to the ground. 

It was a sudden movement and nobody really seemed to notice. Well, nobody, except Robbe. 

But that wasn't a surprise to him. Wherever Sander was, his body always seemed to turn in his way. Against his own will. 

Robbe paid him attention. More than he'd like to admit. Said attention he didn't deserve. Not even a little. But he just couldn't help himself. 

Still, he didn't like it when things turned around and he seemed to be the older boy's source of attention. It had an effect on him that shouldn't be there. It made him feel like he was being watched. And he didn't know if he should be scared or curious.   
  
And for that same reason, that little act made Robbe much more upset than he wanted to show, keeping his lips in the same thin line, acting like, just like everybody else, he hadn't noticed it either. 

If there was one thing he didn't need, it was for Sander to defend him. If that was even what he had tried to do. He could deal with Luka. He had already taken him many times. And he was still there. 

Robbe didn't need Sander.

"Now that everyone is already aware of how this trip's going to work, I want everybody ready at the school gate at six in the afternoon on Friday," the teacher repeated, rubbing his hands together.

It was funny how someone like him, a teacher, could easily ignore and push aside some of the things that were said there. Not a single look of censure. It was as if Luka's comment had gone past everyone. 

Robbe took a heavy sigh, covering any sign of disapproval his gaze could show. It wasn't worth it. He had stood up against Luka once in that class. It had ended with him and Sander spitting sour words between them, and then with both of them being expelled by the teacher.

He had no intention of doing it again. It wasn't worth it. Sometimes, it was better just to let go. And that was one of those times. 

"Now you can all get up and start with three runs around the field," Mr. Peeters spoke again, bringing the little whistle stuck around his neck to his mouth. The deafening noise gaining a few complaints. 

Robbe quickly got on his feet, following behind the others in a slow racing step.

Everyone seemed excited. Already making plans for this and that. 

As for Robbe? He already wanted to jump out. And that school trip hadn't even happened yet.

Spending a weekend with Eastwood's own dark lord and his little friends?

He couldn't think of anything more fun.

  
°°°

  
"Aaron, you need to push your bag further down or mine won't fit."

Robbe tilted his head to the side, watching Britt with both hands resting on her waist, looking at Aaron who was clumsily trying to push his big bag further back. 

"Do you need help with yours?" 

A familiar voice questioned him. Leaning his chin up to be able to find his eyes with his own, Robbe was confronted with Jens, almost hovering over him from how tall he was compared to him, holding a big smile on his lips. 

Arching the corners of his mouth back, Robbe said, lifting his little grey bag in one of his hands, "I think I can get this one. But thanks anyway."

With a soft laugh mixed in his voice, Jens asked, never letting his smile run off his face, "Are you excited for this trip? I heard the place is incredible and the view, with all those mountains".

Robbe couldn't lie. He had searched for it. And it looked really incredible. A place he hadn't even dreamed of going to.

"I never went to the mountains," he admitted quietly.

He watched Jens' smile rise even more in his face, "It's fucking cold," Robbe let out a laugh due to the high pitch in the voice of the tallest boy, being immediately accompanied by Jens, "No, but, it's also calm. And peaceful. Not with all of us there, but you get it."

Robbe just nodded. 

Calm and peaceful didn't sound at all like bad descriptions. He could use some of that. In fact, he could use a lot of that.

A loud voice calling for Jens made both boys look. 

Senne was standing a few feet from the bus, next to Sander and Luka, making a quick move with his thumb against his hand. 

Robbe watched Jens pull a lighter out of his jeans pocket, throwing his hands in the air boringly, "Well, I guess that's my cue."

He gave him one last smile, watching him turn around and walk close to his friends. 

Robbe allowed himself to throw a new look at Sander who was with his body turned in his direction.

He looked intimidating. Much more than usual. His clothes all black in contrast to the white strands falling along his forehead. The fancy black sunglasses adorning his face, covering the most serene part of him. The brunet watched him carry the cigarette stuck between his fingers to his lips, slowly inhaling, letting the smoke envelop him. It was hard to look away. But Robbe needed to do that. He couldn't stand there staring at him much longer, it would get weird at some point. 

Placing his small bag inside the trunk without any difficulty, he hurried to get inside the bus. Just one step inside, and he could already feel the chemical smell of new materials invading his nose. It didn't look at all like the buses he used to take back home. The luxurious gray seats that looked comfortable under his eyes. The little TV monitors suspended in the upper compartment, right above each seat. 

Looking down the long corridor, Robbe noticed Aaron already sitting on one of the seats in the middle of the bus, next to Moyo, with a very upset Amber standing next to him, with her hands at her waist, the same pose Britt had adopted just a few minutes ago. 

Robbe walked in quick steps to the place where they were, passing by some other students he didn't know very well, getting close enough to understand Amber's words.

"I thought we were going to sit together, Aaron," he heard her say with a pout.

Throwing his head back in a frustrated move, trying not to frown, exclaiming in a rather sharp voice, "But we brought our consoles to play together," he quickly straightened his pose on his seat, opening his eyes wide open, "We'll spend a lot of time together there, come on, Amber."

"Oh," the girl looked at him with an angry expression, arcing her eyebrows hastily, "So does that mean you think we spend too much time together?"

Aaron was quick to deny it, taking his hands to both sides of his face, slowly dropping them, pulling the skin lightly with them, "That's not what I said. Come on, Amber, it's just a bus trip, baby."

Robbe could see with the corner of his eye Moyo covering his mouth with his hand, but his eyes spoke for him. And honestly? Even he was having a hard time in containing the laughter that threatened to leave his lips. Amber and Aaron were really fighting over a bus seat. And somehow, that was the most Amber and Aaron thing possible. 

Luca and Yasmina also seemed to be having a good time, sitting right behind Moyo and Aaron looking at the couple arguing for something so minimal, both exchanging glances all the time with Jana and Britt who occupied the two seats on their left side. Robbe was surprised by Zoë's absence. They would normally always be together, it was hard to see one without the others. But throwing his gaze around the inner space, he quickly spotted the girl in one of the back seats, with her head against the cold glass, looking out. 

Robbe didn't like to get into other people's business, but if he had to bet, he would say she was waiting for Senne to join her. They had something weird going on between them. Of course, they had been together before, according to what Amber and Britt had told him, but seeing how things were going, missing from parties together, seen by the hallways completely alone, they would probably be at a point of fixing things between them. Not that Robbe cared, but if he had something to say, he would certainly say Zoë deserved better. Or maybe, he just didn't know Senne enough. What wasn't really hard, since, every time they were in each other's space was just Senne laughing at his friends' jokes or hovering over his body and acting as if it was just a stupid joke between them without any harm.

He looked away from him in time to see Amber taking her place in front of Moyo, taking off her beige beanie with a little pompom, holding it in her lap, throwing her head back towards Aaron, "Fine. You can stay there," quickly leading her gaze forward again, this time focusing on Robbe, with a little smile on her lips, she added with enthusiasm, "Robbe can sit with me. He never shares anything with me and we now have a few hours ahead of us, isn't that great?"

Robbe's eyes wide open the moment Amber finished talking were enough for Moyo to no longer hold on and let out a loud laugh, dropping his head against the seat.

He tried to think of some way to refuse it while still being nice. It wasn't that he had anything against her, he didn't. But Amber could be very nosy sometimes. And very annoying, too. Robbe didn't need to sit there to know that she would spend the whole trip drowning him with more and more questions, trying to get whatever she could out of him. 

That wouldn't happen. No fucking chance. 

"No, it's okay," Robbe shot, the words coming out quickly of his mouth. Looking at the two empty seats in front of Amber, he rushed to occupy the seat right next to the cold glass, not even looking at her when he added, "See? I can stay in this one, I prefer the place by the window anyway".

"But I can give you the place by the window too," he heard Amber protesting from behind him, and he didn't even need to look to know that the same little pout she'd used before with Aaron was, at this moment, back on her lips.

Robbe sighed softly before turning his body slowly, staring at Amber through the space between the two seats, faking his best worried expression, "I just don't want to take that place. You know, if Aaron decides he wants to sit next to you during the trip, he can do it that way."

He watches the girl think for a few seconds, nodding in agreement after a while, "Oh, you're right."

Raising his gaze a bit higher, he found Aaron already looking back at him, with an even funnier Moyo on his side. Aaron quickly offered him his middle finger, to which Robbe answered with a wink, turning again to the front in his seat, getting as comfortable as possible. Which was not very difficult. Those seats could easily call for his sleep. 

Robbe's gaze focused on the front door, seeing Mr. Peeters, without his usual tracksuit, exasperatingly pointing with his hand to the inner space, calling the last students who hadn't yet taken their place inside the bus. 

He watched Luka climb the small stairs with Jens practically glued to him with both his hands resting on his shoulders, guiding him down the corridor in a fun way, pushing him lightly against some of the seats. Right behind the two boys, followed Senne. And then, finally, Sander.

As he passed Robbe, Jens gave him a small smile again, continuing his way with Luka and Senne to the part further behind the bus. 

He looked away from him quickly when he felt Sander approaching the place where he was sitting, not wanting to cross glances with him accidentally, even if the blond boy still had his eyes covered by the black sunglasses, without really any confirmation where he was looking at. All the care was little with him.

But it really didn't help him much, because the next thing Robbe felt was Sander sitting - practically throwing himself - in the empty seat next to his, quickly relaxing back as comfortable as possible. 

The brunet just stood there staring at him with a confused expression until Sander decided to take off his sunglasses once and for all, finally showing the serene emerald green, frowning his eyes in his direction, "What?"

Really? What? That's what Robbe wanted to ask.

"Did you get lost in your way?" The brunet murmured, his voice distilling pure irony. 

He heard Sander chuckle a muffled laugh, bouncing, "Don't think so."

Well, he had to. Why else would he be there by his side when he could be with his friends? Was that just another way to disturb Robbe before the trip even started? It could only be.

"So, what are you doing?" He asked, his mind running with all the possibilities. Robbe just wanted a good start to this trip. Just a good start. That's all he asked.

"It was the only empty seat."

 _It was the only empty seat._ What? That was definitely not the only empty seat. What did Sander really want? And did Robbe even want to find out? 

Looking back now, sitting next to Amber didn't sound as bad as it did before. At least with Amber, Robbe knew what to expect. With Sander? Not so much. 

They were always at different stages every time they were five steps away from each other.

Sometimes Sander could be nice, offering him a ride or trying to hold a conversation with him. But other times... it was just unpredictable. And Robbe had no idea what stage they were at now.

They had been able to sit next to each other last Friday without feeling the need to spit out words they might regret later. 

Not that Sander would ever regret something he had said, Robbe was almost sure of that. 

But now? He didn't have a single idea. 

Were they friends? Definitely not. 

But they weren't enemies either. Or at least, not like in the beginning. 

Maybe there was still a small part of Robbe that still saw him as an enemy, someone who put him on constant alert. Someone he had to run away from. 

Now he was running away from Sander... but for totally different reasons. 

Maybe he was afraid to give in. So easily. 

Either way, he didn't understand what the older boy was trying to achieve there. 

"No, it's not," Robbe answered calmly, trying not to look as affected as he really felt, "There are other seats."

Sander just shrugged, letting out a "whatever", relaxing even further back on the seat, opening his legs slightly to both sides. Robbe was quick to pull his own leg away, before their knees touched each other. The blond boy didn't seem to notice that. Too busy keeping his gaze in front of him, seeming lost in thoughts. 

So Robbe did exactly the same, realizing he would have no other response from Sander than "whatever".

After a few minutes, the bus finally took off, leaving behind the big gates of Eastwood Liberty.

Pushing the headphones that were attached around the back of his neck, Robbe covered his ears, connecting it to his phone. 

He didn't feel that comfortable yet. And it wasn't the seats. But rather the presence of the other boy, so close to him. So close that he could really smell the cologne and tobacco invading all his senses. 

Robbe didn't risk another look in his direction, not even with the corner of his eye, focusing on the big window, seeing the tall trees passing by and the little raindrops that had started to form, falling along the glass, almost as if they were competing in a race. He focused on the low music coming out of his headphones, the constant beat. Anything that could keep him from thinking about Sander and how close they were. If Robbe leaned an inch to the side, their arms would certainly touch.   
  
How could he even keep his thoughts on anything other than that? That proximity?

Fuck, he wished he had stayed with Amber.

The first half hour of the trip passed slowly. Robbe's body still rigid against the seat, trying to make as little movement as possible. 

Completely opposite to the boy sitting next to him. 

Sander had moved more in these last minutes than Robbe could count. He had felt it. He was unquiet. And that uneasiness was making the brunet equally agitated. Inside his head, obviously. Because on the outside, he didn't dare to move a single finger. 

And, then, as if the universe hadn't understood anything he had asked him, Robbe felt a hand taking his headphones off, letting them rest again around his neck. 

Sander's voice came quietly, sounding too low to be heard, maybe even a little hesitant, "What are you listening to?"

Really? He had disturbed him for that? 

Fuck, why did Sander make things even more complicated for him by not allowing him to be at peace in his little world? 

His mind was already a mess of thoughts and possibilities... and feelings. He didn't need him to make it even more complicated. 

Robbe didn't know what to say, it wasn't as if he was paying attention to the music anyway, so he just chose the easiest way, "Now? Nothing."

He finally gathered the courage to face Sander in time to see the corners of his mouth rising in a half smile. His body was totally turned towards Robbe and his head leaned against the seat. 

"And before?"

He tried to focus on the low music that could still be heard coming out of his headphones, immediately recognizing the first beats of "Mask Off". He had heard that song so many times to not be able to not recognize it. It was too familiar.

"Hmm, Future, I guess," Robbe said quietly. He was confident of what he was saying, but still he couldn't help his shaky voice.

He watched Sander straighten his head quickly, his face going from serene to enthusiastic in a space of mere seconds. With a slight smile with closed lips and an eyebrow lift, the older boy said, "Well, lucky for you, you got me here to teach you what is real music."

He didn't even let Robbe answer back, certainly ready to get into another stupid argument about his taste in music. 

Taking his phone out of his black jeans pocket, Sander reached for Robbe's phone from his hands, disconnecting it from his headphones, connecting to his own phone instead. 

But he didn't seem satisfied yet.

Disconnecting his phone from Robbe's headphones again, he took his own white earphones from the other pocket of his jeans.

Sander must have noticed the confusing expression on Robbe's face, because he was quick to explain, "We can listen together in this way."

The younger boy's cheeks immediately flushed when he heard that. And he really hoped he could just blame the warm air coming from the bus ventilation system and not Sander's words. 

Why did " _together_ " mess with him so badly?

Robbe just nodded, since there wasn't really much he could say.

Apparently satisfied, after frantically walking his finger across the small screen, Sander handed Robbe one of his earphones, giving him time to adjust it, doing exactly the same with the other.

Without warning, a gentle low beat began to be heard through the earphones. It was not totally unrecognizable, even if Robbe could not identify the music. 

"David Bowie," Sander's voice said softly on his side, " _Starman_."

Robbe remembered that name. Not exactly from where. But he remembered it. Probably from the old records his dad used to keep on the shelf in the living room. He used to play with them when he was younger, acting like he was a great singer who was about to give the concert of his life. His mom would always sit on the old sofa, too familiar to be replaced by another, clapping her hands together, claiming to be his biggest fan. 

David Bowie was also the artist on the CDs he had seen in Sander's car when he had offered him a ride after the party in the middle of the forest.

So, this was something he was passionate about. 

It wasn't exactly what Robbe considered to be his genre... but it wasn't bad either. Far from it. And he found himself hitting his thumb calmly against his other hand closed in a fist, enjoying the soft beat.

He didn't lose the little smile of pride which broke through the blond boy's lips, for only a second, almost indifferent if he hadn't already faced him back, watching his reaction.

"I know, right?" Sander stated, more relaxed than Robbe had ever seen him, wagging his fingers equally to the music, "Better than anything you've ever heard before."

Sander's enigmatic smile was hard to miss. Especially when Robbe had faced him so many times before. But there was nothing presumptuous about him at that moment. He was simply teasing Robbe. Because he could. Because he allowed him to.

"I get it," Robbe knocked back, as teasing as he did, if not more so, "You're that kind of person who thinks hearing old people from 100 years ago is having musical taste." 

Sander opened his mouth slightly, shaking his head in disbelief, "I can't believe you just called Bowie old. Show some respect, young man."

The brunet gave a trembling laugh, being immediately joined by Sander. 

That whole situation was bizarre. It was like watching an alternate version of themselves. Sitting there with Sander, laughing at some artist that Robbe couldn't even name at first wasn't exactly what he had in mind when he woke up this morning. 

But he wasn't complaining either.

"No, but seriously," Sander's voice cut the laughter, full of admiration, "Bowie was a legend. He was constantly changing and reinventing himself, always bringing something new, you know? He wasn't afraid to be himself... that made him unique."

Robbe nodded lightly, confirming he was hearing every word. Which he was. But for some reason, he wanted to show Sander that he was really there. 

He let him talk about how big Bowie was, one of the best. How genius he was, a real artist. His energy mixed with his talent to create something truly unique. 

How he had helped Sander in a moment of his life when he needed some guidance. 

Robbe wanted to ask him about that. So much.

But he let him talk, without interrupting him once. 

Sander had lowered slightly what Robbe liked to call his walls. For that moment. And he didn't want to ruin it with too many personal questions. 

He didn't know when he would have this Sander again. He needed to enjoy every second of it.

Relaxing his head against his seat, feeling Sander's head very close to his, always without touching, Robbe felt his eyelids heavy on his eyes.

He didn't even try to fight against his fatigue, letting his eyes close slowly, lost in a mixture of low music, the calm sound of the rain outside beating against the big window and the soft raspy voice on his side, still abandoning words of admiration for what he would call his own hero.

How had they reached that position? As if Robbe knew.

But he was too weak to break it. So he allowed himself to get lost in thoughts, letting the gentle chords fill his mind, along with images of soft white strands and beautiful green eyes.

  
°°°

As soon as the bus had stopped by a giant wooden cabin, Mr. Peeters had done the favor of waking up all the students, letting them know that they had finally arrived at the place.

Robbe had opened his eyes quickly, some other song he didn't recognize still played behind the earphones.

He wish he could say it hadn't been awkward, but he would be lying.

Sander had woken up just as frightened as he had, his eyes still getting used to the small intense light of the bus right under his head. He hadn't said a word, putting his phone back along with his earphones inside his jeans pocket. So, Robbe also kept equally quiet, waiting for the students who were standing along the corridor to come out, so that he could do it too.

Amber had given him a suspicious look, a sea of questions passing through her eyes, but as soon as Aaron had finally got up, his face completely painted with some red lipstick, Moyo's work, who had done nothing but undo himself in laughter on his side, she had left Robbe behind, helping her boyfriend to clean it out of his skin. 

There wasn't much they could observe at the bus exit, considering how dark it was already outside when they arrived. 

But the cabin was really some incredible thing. All built in dark wood, surrounded by big green fields with tall trees.

As Luka had promised, there were indeed two separate bedrooms upstairs. 

Mr. Peeters had moved to a smaller room downstairs, right next to the living room, leaving a warning for them not to make any unnecessary noise.

The room was huge. There were five single beds against the back wall, all in a row. In front of them were five bunk beds, a space perfectly equipped to receive so many people. 

Of course, Sander, Luka and Senne had taken three of the single beds, dragging Jens with them to occupy the fourth bed, even against his reluctance, who was careful to ask if any of the other boys had a preference for the corner bed at all. 

Robbe had chosen one of the bunk beds along with Moyo, the friend letting him take the lower bed after he admitted to having a bit of a fear of falling, even if the odds were very small. 

Everyone went to sleep early that night, too tired from the trip, more than ready to fall into the soft mattresses, wrapped by the warm blankets.

  
°°°

  
Robbe stepped outside the small wooden door, being immediately hit by the icy cold of the mountains. No pile of warm clothing was enough to make his skin not shiver with the sharp air. 

Jens was right about one thing. It was fucking cold there. Especially, when it was still so early and the sun hadn't fully appeared. 

Pushing his red beanie over his messy brown curls and the beige scarf even tighter against his neck, Robbe followed behind Moyo and Aaron, who were still complaining quietly in front of him, too grumpy to be woken up at 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning, in that cold.

Mr. Peeters had broken through the room only half an hour ago, opening the heavy curtains to the side, letting the first rays of sunshine in. He had given them a lecture on how healthy it was to get up early in the morning, ready to start the day in the best way, maybe with a little exercise, having gained only a set of indescribable grunts. 

But still, there they were. Dressed in their warmest and most comfortable clothes, walking to the place where the older man was already, in his tracksuit, holding the familiar whistle between his fingers.

"Don't give me that look, this is good for you," the teacher said calmly, although there was a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Robbe watched Aaron throw his head back, muttering under his breath, "I don't have a single idea how could this be good this for us."

He just let out a muffled laugh, finding the frustrated expression stamped on the boy's face a certain grace. 

Robbe was not particularly a heavy sleeper. His biggest problem was the cold. And his hands constantly pinning the scarf around his neck or hugging his light brown coat against his body were not really helping in the situation. 

As if being able to hear Robbe's thoughts, the teacher ordered, rubbing his hands against each other slowly, "I see that everybody is cold. Let's start with a run so you can warm up".

A murmur of complaints quickly set in through the big circle of people.

Taking one of his fingers to his chin, acting as if he was trying to remember something, Mr. Peeters questioned, totally ignoring the unfortunate expressions on the faces of most of his students, "What had Mr. Lemmens said the other day? That the mountains looked quite appealing, was that it? Well, they look appealing enough for a run to me."

A smug laugh was heard in the midst of so many grunts. 

Throwing his gaze quickly to the side, Robbe noticed Luka with a funny expression on his face. That gained him a light slap on his head from Senne who was right beside him. 

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, the teacher continued, indicating with his chin to a tall redheaded boy of whom Robbe didn't really know the name, "Marc will guide the way. You can start now".

The loud noise of the whistle made itself heard perfectly, all the students starting to leave the place where they were standing, against their own will, letting the tall boy, whom Robbe now knew his name was Mark, leave first, starting to take the first steps in the opposite direction of the big cabin all built in wood.

Robbe couldn't do anything else but follow the order, as well as everyone there, starting to accelerate his step to get close to Aaron and Moyo who had already started to move away from that area. 

He could hardly feel his hands, the little suggestion of regret starting to reach him for having chosen to leave his gray gloves back at the dorm. They could be quite useful at that moment. 

The first few minutes of running passed slowly. There was not exactly a view that was extraordinary enough to make him stop and admire. It was just a bunch of tall trees and a dirt road still a little muddy by the tiny rain that had fallen during the night. 

But that was only until they reached a lower area, further away from the high peak where the house was. 

And Robbe couldn't be less worried about the morning run ordered by the teacher. Not when he had that view right in front of him, almost calling for him. 

And if before, nothing had been able to stop him to stare, it definitely had.

Slowly slowing his pace, Robbe began to walk in sloppy steps out of the line of students, so as not to disturb those who were still keeping a running pace.

His friends were too busy to even realize that he wasn't on their side anymore, their eyes still frowning hard, probably still cursing the teacher internally for making them get up so early in the middle of this cold, when they could still be rolling over the soft warm sheets of the beds. 

But Robbe didn't care about sleep. Not when he was staring at what he had right in front of him.

It was breathtaking. More than that. It was captivating, mesmerizing.

The giant mountains appeared in the distance, on the same level as the white clouds, too far to be reached, covered with the last traces of cold frost. They rose high, touching the tenuous blue line of the sky, the sun blossoming behind them. The various shades of blue came together to create a beautiful blend of colors. There was a small long bench of old wood, adopting the shape of a smooth board, right next to Robbe, small green bushes surrounding both thick legs of the bench. It was nothing like he had seen before. Not even close. Facing from the high point where he was to the smallest mountains which spread along meters and meters long, he could see all the tall trees under his gaze, facing him back not so big anymore. 

Then, in the middle of all those mountains and trees and paths on land, there was a big lake. Rigid, it seemed frozen like ice by all the cold in the middle of February. 

The air still cut around him, enough to make his skin tremble and the tip of his nose a little more red than usual. 

It was hard to look away and leave all that behind. 

Not when it had been the closest Robbe had come to serenity in months. He wanted to stand there forever, without moving, if he could choose. Only appreciating all that nature had of more beautiful and noble to offer. 

There was only silence now. The voices of the other students long to be heard. 

Well, silence, except for the steps dragged behind him, coming closer and closer.

Robbe didn't know if that was what he wanted, to be exact. But he was grateful that he wasn't alone. Or potentially lost. Not knowing where to go when he had to come back.

"Can you believe there are people living down there?" 

In the blink of an eye, Sander was already standing next to him, pointing with his finger at some houses that looked too small from where they were, "Insane, right? Who can even live in this cold?" 

Robbe nodded slowly. It was really hard to believe. 

But how could they not choose to stay when they were presented with all that, every day?

"I guess the view is worth it."

Robbe agreed with him, nodding quickly. That was really worth it.

Watching the cold smoke leaving his mouth as soon as he let the words out, Robbe asked, more to himself than to the older boy, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Without taking his eyes off Robbe's face, Sander answered softly, "It is." 

That went past Robbe, still giving all his attention to the big tall mountain in the center of his vision. 

But, maybe, this was as it should be. Maybe, he shouldn't notice.

It made things simple. 

Well, less complicated.

"I came here once with my family," Sander let out in the middle of the silence. 

Robbe still had his eyes on the view in front of him, but he was attentive to the words that were being said. 

Sander never shared anything with him. Except for his love for David Bowie, but that had been a first. And Robbe had learned in just one single time how much he enjoyed listening to him. It wasn't really about what he was saying. It was more about the feelings he transmitted, finally dropping a hint of vulnerability. That way, Sander almost seemed... real. Different from all the other versions of him. The only ones he allowed himself to show.

So Robbe let him speak, only intervening when he felt he should. 

"We used to go to the mountains every year, mostly in December, when there was snow," Sander had a nostalgic smile on his lips, as if that really had been a long time ago, disappearing with time, "I used to love that as a child."

Robbe's quiet voice asked, "And then, what happened?"

He didn't want to pull any more than enough. But Sander had been the only one to start that conversation, Robbe could act as if it was just pure curiosity.

He watched the blond boy shrugging, throwing back, a little uncertain, his eyes narrowed softly, "I think my mom doesn't like the mountains anymore. It's too cold for her, she said."

Sander let a dry laugh escape under his breathing, but Robbe could hear the sadness mixed along. 

He didn't ask why. He wanted to. 

He remembered that time when, in a totally thoughtless and hasty act, he had confessed to Sander about his parents. How his mom was in a hospital and how he didn't even have remnants of a relationship with his dad.

The older boy had remained silent, leaving the matter there, not bringing it back ever again. And Robbe had asked himself millions of times that night why he had let it slip away.

Maybe because he wanted Sander to have a part of him, knowing a little more, no matter how risky that was. Knowing that he could use it against him whenever he wanted and decided. 

But he still did.

And it wasn't so begging to want something back. Right?

It was ridiculous. Robbe knew that. 

Even more, because he claimed to hate Sander. Or, like him a little less than everyone else.

But still, he was there, trying to get something from him. A small part of him. Anything he was willing to offer.

Everything was too fucked up in his head and he didn't know who to trust. In his mind, in his body... himself?

He didn't know. He definitely didn't trust himself. 

And just like Sander had done, Robbe remained silent, not daring to ask any more than that. 

"Right," the brunet began, finally averting his eyes from the mountains, taking a step back, indicating with his hand, "You, hmm, are you coming?"

Sander was about to answer, when loud voices along with laughter appeared a few meters from them, behind one of the tall trees. 

Jens and Senne were leading the way with an angry Luka behind them. His long blond hair was somehow covered in mud, as were parts of his clothes. Robbe wanted to ask what had happened, but why would he really care? 

"Dude, Lukas just slipped on a piece of mud back there trying to put out his cigarette on the ground," Jens let out as soon as they got close enough. If he was supposed to hide his laughter, he hadn't been able, almost finding it hard to say the words.

Sander shook his head slowly, also letting a muffled laugh come out of his lips, "I told you guys not to stay behind smoking".

Robbe watched Luka roll his eyes. There was something in his angry expression that was a little funny and, just like the others, he couldn't help but have a little laugh. Even more, when Luka seemed ready to throw his hands on Senne who still hadn't managed to stop laughing at his friend's muddy figure since they had arrived.

"Don't be mad, baby," Senne joked, throwing one of his arms over Luka's shoulders, "I'll prepare you a bath when we get there."

Luka pushed his arm, throwing his middle finger at him, then starting to walk in front of them. Senne just shrugged, staring at Jens, starting to walk too, joining his friend.

Robbe didn't know what else to do, but to follow them. This was if he didn't want to get lost in the middle of all those trees and land paths.

They all started walking along the hill. Senne and Luka in front, followed by Sander. Robbe and Jens on either side of him.

"Are you enjoying this, Robbe?" He heard Jens questioning, in an audible tone, as soon as they had taken around five steps. 

Robbe once again inspired the fresh air, saying, "It's a bit cold, but the place is amazing."

Jens nodded, even if Robbe wasn't exactly looking at him, focusing instead on the path ahead of them.

Senne put his head back slightly, ready to say something, a little provocative smile already adorning his lips, "Maybe you just need something to warm you up".

Ending with a wink thrown somewhere to Robbe's right, leaving the younger boy a little confused by that move.

Either way, it had gained him a "shut up" whispered from both Sander and Jens, making Robbe narrow his eyes even more, not understanding at all what had just happened. 

Maybe they knew about Jens. That hadn't even crossed his mind. They were friends, after all. But had Jens really told them anything? Maybe.

Robbe felt like he knew less every second.

"These mountains seem high," Luka commented, completely oblivious to the previous conversation, "How long do you think anyone stays flying in the air if they throw themselves off?"

Sander laughed, shaking his head, crossing glances with Jens who just threw both his hands in the air, clearly not even getting what Luka wanted.

"Do we even want to know that?" Senne was the only one to answer something back, saving Luka from getting in a vacuum with his stupid questions.

Throwing his head back in a sudden motion, Luka found Robbe's gaze, laughing when he said, "Maybe we could experiment with IJzermans."

Robbe murmured a "fuck you" under his breath, giving what looked like his first smile to the other boy. 

Luka was annoying, but he was clearly joking this time.

Or so he expected.

"Or we could try it with you, you're already in that figure, it can't get any worse," Sander was the one to rebound, tossing a little kiss with his lips in Luka's direction when his friend looked at him with a pretended incredulous look.

Between random conversations and some more "fuck you's" being thrown randomly, the group of boys finally arrived back at the cabin. 

Of course Mr. Peeters was already there waiting for them with a stiff expression and his hands resting harshly on his waist, but with some lame excuse, Sander managed to save them from the older man's serious look. 

But when did he ever fail?

  
°°°

  
"So, how do I look, huh?"

Aaron turned in front of the other boys, his voice full of humor, while he joyfully showed the apron with a floral pattern that he had found in one of the lower drawers of the countertop, immediately covering his body with it.

"Ridiculous," Luka snorted on the other side of the countertop, resting his elbows on the cold marble, "I can't believe they really left us here."

Robbe watched each of the other 16 boys there inside that huge kitchen nod, agreeing with him. 

Really? This had to be a joke. 

The girls had done their part, taking care of lunch for everyone, and now they had gone to their respective rooms, leaving dinner with them. Fair enough. 

But Robbe must have known by now that Luka's brain was too small to understand that. That and it was obvious that he had never heard the expression "fair" once in his life. 

"I mean," Aaron spoke again, still entertained opening and closing as many drawers as he could, checking the inside. Taking a compressed black spatula out of one of the drawers, lifting it up in the air, he continued, "How hard can it be?"

Judging by the fact Aaron was carefully watching the utensils he was taking out of the drawers, seeming never to have seen any of the things once before, it couldn't be easy either. 

Grunting annoyingly, Luka extended his arm across the bench, throwing his head over Sander's shoulder who had taken the bar stool next to his, "I'm hungry."

Robbe watched the boys again look at each other, not really knowing what to say, appearing more lost than ever. 

It couldn't be possible that there were 16 boys besides him, and not one of them seemed to have any idea what to do. It was just a simple meal. It wasn't like an entire luxury buffet. Really?

Seeing that nobody was really about to say or suggest anything, Robbe took the initiative, taking a step forward, putting his hands on the marble countertop, "Standing there complaining won't get us anywhere either. We should see what we have first, right?"

They all nodded, beginning to scatter around the kitchen, looking for things they could use. 

A short third-year boy Robbe only recognized from physical education classes, Thomas, he thought, peeked with his head behind the tall fridge door, holding a compressed cardboard box in one of his hands, almost shouting, "We have eggs."

"We could fry them," Aaron suggested, spinning a small metal frying pan in his fist.

Robbe wasn't sure, but if he could bet, he'd say Aaron had never done that. And all it took was Moyo confirming his theory, laughing at his own friend.

"Can you even fry an egg?"

Robbe saw Aaron staring at him for a few seconds, letting his shoulders fall off after a while, "Well... no. But that's because I'm afraid of burning myself in hot oil."

"Put some gloves on, then, it's not so hard" Moyo threw back, getting a roll of the other boy's eyes.

"Okay, Mr. Cooker," Aaron said, putting the little frying pan on top of the counter, arching his eyebrows high, "Should I remind you of that time you put a whole frozen pizza in the microwave cause you didn't know how to work all those buttons in the oven? There were slices that still came with ice on top."

Robbe shared his gaze between the two boys, not really knowing if he should laugh or be seriously concerned. Maybe it would be a good idea to keep them both away from anything that would serve to heat. Just for prevention.

In between laughter, Luka mocked Aaron, "I can't believe you can't fry an egg."

"Well, can you?" The curly-haired boy spat back, sarcasm filling his voice. 

Luka threw a "fair enough", putting his head back on Sander's shoulder that looked equally bored, looking around with a tedious expression. 

"All right, forget the eggs," Robbe intervened again, seeing that they weren't really going anywhere, the dinner time getting closer, "Let's go with pasta, it can't go wrong".

Everyone seemed to agree, starting to divide tasks, Robbe being the one to guide everyone. Some of the boys left the kitchen with their hands holding plates, lots of cutlery, glasses and napkins, ready to put everything carefully on the huge wooden table in the deepest corner of the big dining room. Others grabbing boards from inside the high glass cupboards, starting to cut the side products that the pasta would carry. 

Moyo and Aaron stayed with Robbe, now looking around the kitchen for a pan that was big enough to cook for so many people. 

Robbe lifted his head slightly, still seeing Sander and Senne standing in the same place. Luka had already left, dragging Jens with him to go and take care of the table, just so he could escape having to cook along with the others who had stayed. 

"You two just gonna stay there?"

The two boys looked at Robbe as if the answer was quite obvious, gaining a deep sigh from him.

Throwing his hands in the air defensively, Senne said, "There's nothing more to do here."

"You can help with the vegetables," Robbe said, adding with a defiant tone, "if you're even capable of doing that."

Pressing his lips together in a fine line, Senne grunted, "Fuck you, IJzermans. I'm about to give you the best cut vegetables you've ever seen."

Robbe narrowed his eyes towards the boy. First, that sentence hadn't made any sense. Second, Senne was in his way to have his pride cut out. Or his finger, whatever.

"And you," the brunet continued, pointing with his chin at Sander who had a amusing frown on his face, quietly watching the exchange of words between the two boys, "You can," looking around the kitchen, there really wasn't anything else that could be done. Sighing silently, Robbe finished, "Help me, I guess."

He watched the corners of Sander's lips rise with a smirk, "Always finding a way to spend time with me, huh?"

"Yeah, sure," Robbe shot back, rolling his eyes.

Sander was too funny for his own good, wasn't he?

Pushing his body out of the bar stool sloppily and dragging his feet to the other side of the big counter, Sander finally got close to Robbe, staring at him, waiting for some order.

This caught Robbe by surprise, he couldn't lie. Was Sander really about to take orders from someone else other than himself? The Sander Driesen? That was a novelty. 

"Okay," Robbe tried to pass a list of things he needed in his mind, but it wasn't really much, "You can grab salt and olive oil from the cabinet next to the fridge." 

The blond boy nodded, starting to walk in large steps in the opposite direction. 

Just a few seconds later, Moyo showed up with a large pan held in his arms, with Aaron following behind him.

"Will this work?" 

Robbe nodded, accepting the pan Moyo passed into his hands with a small "thank you". 

Placing the pan on top of the stove, then adding the water that was inside the jug he had already gone to fill to the sink, he quickly turned on the bigger cooking mouth with one click, leaving the water to boil.

"Where did you learn to do that?"

Robbe looked up watching Aaron staring at him in surprise. 

"What?" He asked, his forehead fraying in confusion, "Turn on the stove?"

He watched the boy nod, quietly staring at him, "That and all the other things. Like cooking or knowing what to use."

"My mom taught me, I guess."

He noticed the two friends exchanging a quick glance between them, almost unnoticed, Aaron quickly averting his eyes first, nodding, "That's nice. Adolphe does all the cooking at home." 

"Who's Adolphe?" Robbe questioned just out of curiosity. 

"He's the butler."

Of course he was. What was he really expecting? 

Robbe didn't know what to say back. It was weird to learn how many of them had so little contact with the reality of the world, having people they could always count on, not having to really move a straw. He didn't blame them anyway. They had grown up that way. They had been used to that life. But it was still surprising. Not in a positive sense. Far from it. 

Fortunately, Sander appeared again on Robbe's side, saving him from some potentially awkward silence. 

"Here it is," he said, landing on the counter a small bottle of olive oil along with a glass pot of coarse salt inside, "Now what?"

"We have to add the olive and the salt to the water," Robbe summarized, opening the drawer in front of him so he could remove a wooden spoon.

Before he could say anything else, he felt Sander going around his body, grabbing again the glass salt pot in one of his hands, quickly opening the lid and pouring all the contents that were inside the small bottle into the pan.

"Sander," the youngest boy practically shouted his name, seeing all three boys looking at him in a rush, not understanding that sudden change in his tone.

The blond boy looked at him with the most innocent look, "What?"

"You can't put all the salt in the pan," Robbe's words left his lips far less frustrated than he actually felt.

Sander still didn't seem to have endorsed what he had done wrong, his eyes wide open when he contested, "But you just said we had to put the salt and the oil in the water."

Robbe had to take a deep breath, his voice remaining calm this time, even if his patience was nearing collapsing, "Not all of it."

"Well," Sander threw back, tilting his head slightly to the side, "You're terrible at giving orders."

Robbe would punch him one day. That looked like the perfect place. 

"And you're terrible at following them."

"If you'd told me how it works, it wouldn't have gone wrong."

"How? You didn't even let me finish."

The two boys stayed in this exchange for a good five minutes. Apparently for Sander, it was all Robbe's fault, because he hadn't been specific enough. For Robbe, obviously it was Sander's fault, because he didn't know how to listen and _who the fuck doesn't know how to make pasta?_

Both Moyo and Aaron stood there staring, keeping their eyes from one to the other, laughing about how childish they looked at that moment. Arguing about some salt. 

Robbe wouldn't lie. If he had been looking at it from the outside, he would have found it all ridiculous, too. But, fuck, did Sander knew how to push him? 

He could drive him insane so many times. Always finding something different to say, so he could keep on top. He was so fucking annoying. 

"And now we have no more salt to use," Robbe exclaimed, opening his arms on both sides of his body exasperately. 

Sander rolled his eyes hard at him, "Why do we even need salt? Isn't that bad for your health or something like that?"

"In large quantities," the brunet spat, feeling himself losing his patience with him again, "You know, like the one you fucking put inside the water."

"Whatever."

Moyo finally intervened in the conversation between the two boys, looking at the pan with the water still boiling, on top of the stove, "Maybe we can wait for the water to evaporate and the salt to stay at the bottom".

Robbe threw a glance in his direction, seeing Aaron nodding as well, agreeing with Moyo.

They couldn't be serious. He was ready to throw his hands on each of the three boys.But he just took a deep breath, counting to three slowly in his head.

"See, this is what we're going to do," Robbe spoke up again, keeping his voice as calm as possible against his own will, "Pour some water out of the pan and fill it with more water so it doesn't get too salty," throwing his gaze at Sander one more time, he added, "Can you at least do that?"

"But the pan's hot," the older boy objected, "I won't be able to grab it."

Taking a step forward towards the stove, the brunet abruptly grabbed one of the wings on one side of the pan, spitting out the words, "You see this, Sander? This part doesn't burn. See?" 

Robbe stepped back to give him space, listening to Sander whispering "bossy" under his breath. 

Holding in the air the wooden spoon that had remained stuck in his other hand, Robbe fumed, "Don't fucking test me, Sander."

He watched Moyo let out a muffled laugh.

"What?"

"Nothing," the boy replied, "You're just so small and you look funny like that."

Sander came back again, putting the pan back on the stove, moving back, giving Robbe all the space so he could take care of the rest. 

Grabbing the oil bottle from the counter, Robbe approached the stove again, not without first giving a hard look in Sander's direction.

"If it turns out badly, you can expect your name to be thrown on the table."

  
°°°

  
Robbe turned his body over in bed for what seemed like the thousandth time just in the last hour. He had tried to remain silent, so as not to disturb the other boys, keeping his sudden movements as quiet as possible, but it wasn't really working. 

Finally giving up trying to fall asleep, seeing how far he was from that, he took his hands to his still closed eyelids, rubbing the tiredness out of them, opening them, no matter how heavy they felt under his touch. Stretching his arm out of the bed, searching with his hand his phone which was somewhere lost on the floor beside him, he quickly grabbed it, unlocking the small screen, feeling his eyes asking for darkness again. 

Checking the time his phone was ticking, he saw that it was only a little after one in the morning. Not an hour had passed since he had gone to bed, but his sleep seemed to never come, even if he felt his tired body, rolling between the soft sheets.

It wasn't really the bed, or the unknown place. Eastwood had been exactly the same and he had gotten used to it very quickly. 

Giving in to the fact that he wouldn't fall asleep so easily, Robbe threw the blankets out of his body, pushing himself out of bed, being careful not to make too much noise. Unlocking his phone again, pointing with the weak light of the screen to the floor, avoiding to turn on the flashlight which wouldn't go unnoticed definitely, he noticed his white sneakers leaning against his little grey suitcase. He thought about grabbing them, but throwing a glance at his feet covered with blue warm socks with little white dots, he quickly gave up on that idea. That would work.

Walking on his tiptoe to the wooden door that was only slightly leaning, Robbe left the room behind, pulling his red hoodie over his messy curls, beginning to walk in slow, quiet steps to the living room on the upper floor that had a glass door that gave access to the balcony, the one with the best view of the mountains and the long green fields full of trees. 

The balcony was small. It had two wooden benches facing forward with a small round table between them with some low jar with two violet artificial flowers adorning it. The parapet, also in dark wood, stretched around the balcony. Above his head, there was a string of glass lamps attached, illuminating the reduced space more than enough. It was nothing extraordinary, not like the rest of the cabin, but it was cozy, and that's what Robbe liked about it.

Relaxing his body on one of the wooden benches, carrying his knees to his chest, he quickly hugged his legs as much as he could against him, feeling his skin shivering with the icy cold. His feet only covered by the warm socks and the thin grey sweatpants were clearly not helping either. Maybe he had been dumb for not bringing his sneakers with him, at least those would have kept a part of him warm.

Ignoring the cold wind that passed through the small balcony, Robbe focused his gaze in front of him. It was dark outside, it wasn't as if he was able to see the incredible view that could be seen when the sun rose high in the sky. But his eyes could perfectly distinguish the dark silhouettes of the high unreachable mountains from where he was. 

Even in the dark of the night, that view could take his breath away. It was just that beautiful. 

"It's too cold to be outside, don't you think?"

Robbe turned his head abruptly, not having noticed the other boy's presence until then. Sander was leaning against the glass door, a long beige polar blanket slickly tossed over his body, holding another identical blanket in one of his hands. 

The brunet didn't even have time to answer anything, seeing Sander pushing himself out of the door, taking two steps into the small balcony, throwing the blanket he had brought with him over Robbe. 

He wouldn't refuse it, even considering the brute way Sander had thrown it, making him want to throw it back using the same force, just for the pleasure of annoying him. It was cold and he could perfectly use something warm, so he quickly passed the blanket over his shoulders, hugging it around his body. The smell of lavender invaded his nose immediately, making him want to wrap his face in the middle of the blanket. 

Against his own will, Robbe tossed a low "thank you", watching Sander take his place on the other wooden bench, opposite his, pulling his blanket closer to him. He could see the blond boy's lips shaking slightly against each other under the lights, slightly open, letting a trail of cold steam come out as he expired. 

Fighting against his shivering voice from the cold, Robbe asked him, "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

A pause of mere seconds.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Okay, fair enough.

"I couldn't sleep," Robbe said, choosing to be honest.

He watched Sander let out a yawn, throwing his head slightly back against the backrest, letting the words come out along with his tired voice, "Why? Do you miss Eastwood already?"

The brunet snorted, "I don't think I could ever miss that place." 

That wasn't entirely true. But it wasn't entirely false either. It was confusing, to say the least.

"Kind of ungrateful," Sander spat back, "Don't you think?"

Robbe thought for a good second. Maybe it was. But Sander didn't know the half of it. Or maybe he knew. The thing was, it was easy for him to talk. He didn't have to be constantly proving his worth in that school, he was worth enough already. But Robbe wasn't. So fuck if he was ungrateful, he didn't owe anyone anything. 

"I don't know why you care anyway," Robbe muttered under his breath, "You've been pretty clear you don't want me there."

Sander removed his head from the back of the seat, bringing his body back up, finally facing Robbe back.Of all the looks the brunette thought he'd give him, an unimpressed wasn't really in his possibilities. But still, the older boy frowned, as if Robbe had just said a nonsense.

"I told you before, Robbe. I'm an asshole with everyone, you're not the only one, and I definitely don't keep a special place just for you." 

He had some nerves, Robbe would give him that.

He was full of lies, too.

"No, you're not," the younger guy contested a little louder.

Sander let a dry laugh slip, running the tip of his tongue inside his chek, "You haven't been to Eastwood for even two months. Maybe you should stop acting like you know everything."

Robbe paid little to no attention to what he had just said, swallowing against the hard knot in his throat, quickly changing the course of the conversation, when he questioned, abandoning the words that had been stuck inside for so long, almost running over each other to see which one would come out first.

"Why don't you like me?"

He wish he could say he was confident with what he blew out, but that would be a big lie. He wasn't, not a bit. And his breathing trapped in his throat for the seconds of pure uncomfortable silence wasn't helping him calm down either.

And now, he was starting to regret it, wishing he could take it back.

Fuck, it had seemed like a plea for validation. He didn't even recognize himself right there. Too imported with an outside opinion.

"And there you go with the assumptions again," Sander said in a rather ironic tone at the end of a while, his face contracted as it always did when he was confronted with something he didn't want, "Maybe that's what's wrong with you."

 _Assumptions?_ Was he being serious? All he had done since Robbe had arrived at Eastwood was find some way to intimidate him. And now they were just assumptions? Something just inside Robbe's head? Lies.

Quickly sitting up straight on his bench, Robbe was able to say, spitting back, "Do you even remember that first day I bumped into you in the hallway?" He hastily questioned, no longer caring if he was being noisy, the images of little memories running through his mind, "You told me I should be afraid of you. Oh, and in the cafeteria, do you remember?" He asked again rhetorically, it was obvious that Sander remembered, how could he not? It had all been about him, "You told me I didn't have a place in Eastwood, that I was a nobody. You remember, huh?"

Sander opened his mouth slightly to talk, but Robbe cut him abruptly. He hadn't finished yet. He'd already come this far, he wouldn't back down now.

"What was I supposed to do?" Robbe added with a cold laugh, setting his voice back to a calmer tone, "Nod and smile? Because, you know, you're an asshole with everyone? It was my first week... I didn't even fucking wanted to be there... and you made me feel like I didn't deserve any of it."

He finally took a deep breath, really having nothing more to say. Or maybe not knowing.

Robbe watched Sander cast his gaze back to the mountains, still there, in the silence of the night. And, in his mind, the conversation had stopped there.

But Sander's voice slowly filled the space.

"I thought you would give up the first week," he simply let slip, pressing his lips together.

Robbe hated it when he did that. Changing the course of the conversation into something he could work with. Anything that could make things easier for him.

"I was relieved when I saw you the next Tuesday coming to the gym," Sander added in a whisper, almost inaudible. Almost. Making Robbe even more confused.

Sander changed like the weather. He could be cold, warm, dry, sometimes windy... other rainy. And he couldn't stand these changes. It was hard to keep up with him. Even more, to understand him. 

Robbe took a chance, "Why?"

He didn't like it when his voice sounded uncertain.

The blond boy just shrugged, finding Robbe's eyes again, "I don't know. I think I like having someone I can bother."

Choosing the easy side again. 

Robbe couldn't understand why Sander couldn't be honest once and for all, always keeping himself in the shadows.

"You're an asshole."

"I know."

At least he was aware of that.

And then out of nowhere, Sander bursted out, in a quiet voice that didn't sound at all like him, "I'm sorry, okay?"

Robbe wanted to laugh. Serious? Was that his idea of an apology? He probably hadn't even been sincere. 

"Is that all?"

He didn't care how presumptuous he sounded. He deserved something more. Or better, whatever.

Taking one of his hands to his hair, Sander ran his fingers through the white strands, some of them being pulled tight along the way.

"What more do you want? I just fucking apologized, can't you just take that?"

_Fuck no._

Two words were not what would save him.

"No, it doesn't work that way," Robbe tossed back. He seemed a lot less upset than he wanted. Sander needed to realize that he was mad.

The older boy tried to reason, but came more like a grunt, "Look, Robbe."

And he could feel himself close to losing his patience. More than before. If Sander didn't want to take accountability for the things he had said and done. Fine. Fantastic. 

But he could very well go fuck himself. 

"You should go."

Robbe said abruptly, turning his body back to face the parapet in front of him.

He heard Sander snorting heavily from his side, quickly getting up, dragging the beige polar blanket with him, already falling off his shoulders along his arms.

He waited for the steps that would follow, but they never came. 

"No, I won't leave."

He could only be joking.

Robbe wondered if he accidentally pushed Sander off the balcony if anyone would notice.

They probably would.

Taking a deep breath, as so many times for the last hour, Robbe insisted again, staring at him annoyingly, Sander now stooding by the unoccupied wooden bench, "Sander, just leave, okay?"

"What if I don't want to?"

He was really testing all the patience Robbe was able to keep inside him. It wasn't much, to tell the truth.

Standing up with the blanket still firmly attached to his body, Robbe started to walk in wide steps towards the glass door, going around Sander's body, " Fine. I leave."

But Sander was quick to throw his hand on Robbe's wrist, pulling him back again, making them both stay just one step away from each other, facing each other intensely.

At this point, Sander's polar blanket had already completely abandoned him, now thrown around him on the ground. 

"Maybe we could-"

Robbe immediately cut him off, pulling his hand back to him, away from Sander's touch, "What? Being friends? Start over? Act as if it hadn't happened? Like it was nothing?"

He heard the frustrated sigh that abandoned Sander's lips the moment he finished speaking. 

"That's not what I was going to say," the older boy contested. Bringing his tongue to his lower lip, he slowly wet it, shaking his head slightly, "See? You're always so quick to make assumptions, acting like you know everything."

"I know you more than enough."

"No, you don't."

And that's where Sander was wrong. Robbe might not have decoded him completely, but he did know some parts of him. Of observing him, maybe. But he knew. 

"Please, Sander, enlighten me then," Robbe's voice unleashed sarcasm, "What kind of twist are you hiding, hmm?" He could take it further, and that's exactly what he would do, "Oh, wait, I know. The poor little boy who grew up with no support, his parents were probably too busy for him. He was always allowed to do whatever he wanted... and you know what happened, huh? He became someone who thinks he's always in control," he threw a provocative smile in Sander's direction, "Is this you?"

Was it any of that even true? Fuck if Robbe knew.

What he knew was that it would be enough to make Sander explode. The control part was by far a lie. That he knew.

But that wasn't all. No. Robbe could still add some more wood to the fire and watch it burn in front of him.

"I see through you, Sander, did you know that? You can fool anyone you want, but not me... You just keep trying to get away from being real."

And that would have been enough. 

Robbe gave Sander's quiet, controlled voice room to fill the little balcony. But there was nothing quiet about him. And the youngest boy knew he'd hit a nerve in him. And, as always, Sander would use that chance to hit him head-on, spitting the same things back. 

And he was ready for it.

"Real, huh? Because you are, Robbe, right?" Sander mocked him, "Well, back at you... you can't fool me. You want to fit so badly. And you're so fucking insecure about yourself, about your life, your family, the things you have. You're not as tough as you want to make everyone believe."

Exactly what Robbe had been waiting for. Like he had said, he'd figured out Sander's game. And instead of running, he would play along.

"You're right, Sander, you're fucking right," Robbe could see the moment when Sander's eyes narrowed, a confused, disoriented expression adorning his face, "I want to fit. Who doesn't? I wish I did. I hate always having to think before I speak because I don't want to say the wrong thing. I hate that I'm smart, but not smart enough for Eastwood, for any of you," with a quick determined look, raising his voice to a louder tone, he added, "You see? I'm saying this. I'm not afraid, but what about you, huh? You can't say that. You can't say you're not in control most of the time. And you hate it, you hate it so much," the last part came almost in a scream, making Sander close his eyes for a second, "So just say it."

He felt Sander take a step back, growing the distance between them, slightly losing balance in the fallen blanket at his feet, a one-second thing, recomposing himself quickly. If that was any other situation, Robbe would probably laugh. 

But, now, staring at Sander, seeing his face slowly closing under his eyes, he couldn't find anything funny. Not at all.

"I'm tired, Robbe," the words left Sander's lips dragged. His voice tired, just like his eyes.

"I'm tired too," the brunet agreed, repeating the same words, much lower, in a whisper, "I'm tired too."

There was a pause. 

Robbe didn't take his eyes off Sander's for a second, not missing the first hint of collapse happening right in front of him. It was a first.

"I'm sorry," he could feel how hard it took for Sander to be able to say this, "For being an asshole... for making things even more complicated for you."

Robbe finally nodded.

That could be a start. Maybe. He didn't want to think ahead.

"I'm sorry for pushing you," Robbe admitted after a while.

"I deserved that."

"You did."

Sander let out a laugh, his eyes still serious, "Well, thanks."

Robbe joined him, himself letting out a little laugh, "What? Wasn't the whole point of this conversation to be honest?"

He still didn't understand. 

More than that, he didn't understand what was wrong with them. How could they even go from spitting meaningless words covered with bitterness and sarcasm in disguise to standing there sharing a smile between them?

They were insane. He didn't doubt it.

"So now what? We shake our hands and everything's okay?"

Robbe laughed as he watched Sander extend his hand in front of him, dropping it again after a few seconds when he realized he wouldn't shake it back. 

"Not like that," Robbe replied sincerely, adding, adopting the previous serious pose, "Look, Sander, I say this for you. If you keep pushing yourself and trying to gain control over something, there's going to be a point where you're just going to explode... and you don't want that."

Robbe had no idea where that came from. But he knew he was being honest.  
  
Instead of leaving the conversation there with just a nod, Sander took a chance, "And why do you care?"

Now, that was where he was trying to get to. Robbe had asked himself that many times. He never got an answer. 

"I don't."

And that was the first time he was lying in that whole conversation. 

To Sander. To himself.

"But you do," Sander retorted, adding with a slight smile of closed lips, "Honesty, remember?" 

Robbe made an effort not to roll his eyes, seeing Sander's smile grow even bigger on his face.

"You are so full of yourself."

He watched Sander slowly lower his body to catch the polar blanket dropped on the ground, rolling it back around his shoulders. 

A few steps forward and he was standing next to Robbe.

Tilting his head down, close to Robbe's ear, too close, Sander whispered, "And wasn't that what got you?"

Robbe's eyes opened very quickly. His cheeks adopting a new shade of pink. And not because of the cold.

Feeling brave enough, he turned his face in Sander's direction, a frown in the middle of his eyebrows.

"What?"

He felt Sander's eyes running all over him, burning his skin where they passed by, trapping himself again with his own brown eyes.

"You're not the only one who sees through me." 

And, just like that, Sander left, leaving him standing there wondering what the hell had just happened.

Robbe took a heavy sigh, but that did nothing to calm his fast heartbeat.

  
°°°

  
"Can everyone hurry up? We're already leaving later than planned. We had to be following the itinerary".

Mr. Peeters' authoritative voice sounded close to the bus entrance.

Robbe stuffed his suitcase into the small space, then passed Moyo who was still trying to help Aaron push his big suitcase further in so that the driver could finally close the trunk.

Throwing a quick look at the teacher who still kept the same angry expression on his face, Robbe rushed into the bus.

There weren't many students already occupying the spacious place. The vast majority were late, dragging the bags out of the main cabin door, too full for only two days. 

Studying the seats around him, Robbe immediately spotted Sander, sitting alone as far back as possible, in the last seat of the bus. He had his head slightly leaning against the cold window, looking lost in thought, keeping his eyes busy staring out. 

Robbe thought for a good minute if he should do that, but his feet worked faster and, the next thing he knew, he was lowering his body on the seat beside Sander's, relaxing backwards. 

He watched the blond boy lifting his head slowly, facing him with an enigmatic look he couldn't really figure out. 

Robbe saw his expression quickly becoming confused, probably wondering why he was there, exactly the same reaction he had had on the trip to the cabin when Sander had taken his place beside him.

"What?" Robbe shot, slightly arcing his eyebrows. Using the same excuse Sander had used with him, he quickly added, "It was the only empty seat."

That earned him a little smile from Sander, clicking on his head who had said that in the first place.

Sander left that with just a smile, not really using any words, throwing his head against the seat, leaving the cold glass behind.

The rest of the students were starting to fill the seats on the bus. Robbe noticed Aaron sitting on one of the banks a few feet from where he was, Amber taking the seat next to his this time. A few seconds later, he saw Moyo throwing his hands in the air, a confusing expression on his face when he threw a loud "serious, bro?", shaking his head to the sides when Amber childishly stuck out her tongue for him. Moyo ended up sitting next to Luca. 

Jens and Luka came in a while later, taking the seats right in front of him. Robbe threw a little smile in Jens's direction which returned another one before he sat up against the comfortable seat. He really waited for some joke or provocation from Luka, but that never came. Maybe the boy was too tired to even think of something to spit. 

Robbe was tired too.

Mr. Peeters had woken them all up early that morning again to get some exercise in the big green field that stretched along the cabin. It had cost Robbe a lot more than yesterday. Which was no surprise. After his talk with Sander on the small balcony, he had found a much harder time falling asleep, back to the room shared by all the boys, his feet covered only by his socks, cold against the ground and the long blanket being dragged behind him, turning between the soft sheets much more than he had ever done, unable to close his eyes, even with all the tiredness.

Sander also looked tired. The dark circles deep under his eyes indicating just that and Robbe really wondered if, just like him, the older boy hadn't been able to fall asleep, the words they had exchanged running through his mind over and over again, keeping him awake all night long. 

Secretly, he wished this was true. At least, he wouldn't be the only of the two not being able to get the other out of his head. 

The bus left faster this time, Mr. Peeters complaining that they were already more than late.

In just ten minutes of travel, most of the students already had their heads thrown in some way over the seat, their eyes closed. 

Still, against his own yawns, the boy sitting next to Robbe didn't seem to be about to do the same, fighting to keep his eyes open.

Turning his head to the side, Robbe asked, his voice sounding somewhat uncertain, always keeping it in a whisper, "So, no music this time?"

He didn't lose the surprised glow that went through Sander's eyes, probably wondering why that sudden change.

Whispering back to him, Sander reacted, "I mean, if you want to."

All it took was a nod from Robbe. 

Taking the familiar white earphones out of his left jeans pocket, Sander handed one of them over to Robbe's hand, waiting for him to adjust it to his ear, doing exactly the same thing. 

Sander was quick to connect the earphones to his phone, looking through his playlists, taking his time to choose the first song.

The first chords started to be heard.

He has never heard that. He didn't even recognize it, but it was peaceful, making his eyelids feel even heavier, begging to be closed, lulled to the sound of the low beat. 

Ceding finally, Robbe leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling over him. He wasn't looking, but he felt Sander moving in his place, turning his body towards him, raising his left leg on the seat, his knee immediately finding Robbe's right leg, staying like this. 

Only five seconds later, and Robbe felt Sander's head fall slowly over his shoulder, making his whole body static. He could feel the white strands touching his neck, making his skin tremble under the touch. 

Sander must have felt Robbe's stiffness, slowly dragging the words out of his lips, "I'm tired and my head was going to fall to the side anyway, so".

Maybe that was a bit of truth. 

Still, Robbe had been caught off guard, not really knowing what he was supposed to do now. If he was even supposed to do anything.

Sander's question came low, almost being covered by the sound of the beat still coming out of his earphones, "Is this okay?"

And how could he really refuse?

Throwing a quiet "it's okay", Robbe finally relaxed against the seat, letting Sander use his shoulder as his own pillow, feeling his eyes closing once and for all, no longer resisting fatigue, letting himself get lost between a serene singing voice and the fresh smell of tropical fruits shampoo right under his nose on the line where his neck met his shoulder, where Sander rested peacefully.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on tumblr: ["fockinglevendcliche"](https://fockinglevendcliche.tumblr.com)


End file.
